Page 78 of Baxter's Right-Hand Man

“How lucky you are. I don’t think I’ve ever formally come out. I’ll do it now. I’m gay,” he pronounced, sliding his tiles onto the board. “Fourteen points.”

“Didn’t you technically come out at your wedding ceremony?” Lo asked.

“I suppose that gave a big fat hint, but we married in 2008, when it was legal. No one cared about a couple of old fogies getting hitched. We never had to say a word. The technicality was the piece of paper, not us. We knew who we were.”

Lorenzo recorded the points and placed his own letters down, his expression thoughtful. “How did you manage to hide for fifty years?”

“We made friends we could trust. We’d host poker nights, have barbecues…that sort of thing. And we always had Carmel.” Jasper nudged my hand. “It’s your turn, Pierce.”

“What was in Carmel?” Lo asked.

“Our hideaway. David and I bought a cottage with an ocean view in 1975 and spent as much time there as possible. It’s very private, and it was a great place to get away from the world and just be ourselves.”

I counted my points with a sigh. “Do you still own it?”

“Yes. My lawyer advised me to sell it after David died. I thought about it because…I never wanted to go back without him, but I couldn’t give it up either.”

I frowned. “So you haven’t been there in twelve years?”

Jasper lowered his eyes, but his voice was thick with emotion when he spoke. “No, I couldn’t. Not without David. It was ours, not mine. Without him…there was no point.”

His words echoed like a melancholy song for a long moment.

Without him…there was no point.

Lo cocked his head curiously. “Do you have a caretaker for the house?”

“Oh, heavens, yes! It would be a cavern of cobwebs if left to the elements. The mice would have an absolute field day.” Jasper’s rusty laugh morphed into one of those awful chest-rattling coughs.

“Do you need water?” Lo patted his back gently and shot a worried glance my way.

“I’m fine, dah-ling, I’m fine. Go on. Play the game.”

“Okay,” Lo whispered.

We continued in relative silence for a while. I probably should have called it a night. It had been a long day and I wanted Lo to myself, but something kept me glued to my chair. It was as if I were still convinced Jasper had some wisdom to impart or some clue that might unlock a piece of my history. Something…good.

Wishful thinking, I know. We’d moved beyond that. My mom was gone, and the man I was possibly related to was long gone and—

“You look like him,” Jasper blurted. “Like David.”

A ghostly spider web tingled along my spine. “I do?”

“Do you have your wedding photo here?” Lo asked gently.

“Yes, but…we’re old in those photos.” Jasper fiddled with his oxygen tube, clearly agitated now. He clenched his jaw so hard I could hear his teeth grinding like loose gravel. “When he was young, he was so handsome. And like you, David wore a tux so beautifully.”

“Thank you. I—”

“He bought one when he was your age…thirty-five or six. He worked in the hoity-toity department. They were always hosting formal events with politicians and donors. He had to find a date for those occasions. It was a rare treat to be with him when he wore his tux back then. The first time was when we were both invited to a colleague’s wedding. We each had a girl on our arm. I don’t remember their names. Nice girls, so pretty…long hair and slinky dresses, but…all I could ever see was him—”

He choked on a sob and heaved a gulp of air.

Lo jumped to his feet. “I’ll call Enid and—”

“No, I’m okay. I’m okay.”

“You sure?”