Page 10

Chapter Ten

I run my hand over the rose-covered fabric that covers the makeshift desk Joel helped me build when I started high school. It’s only a piece of plywood nailed to the top of two bedside tables that I’d painted the same pink as the roses. It’s one of my favorite things because Joel and I made it together. Even more special now that Joel has a move-out date. The plywood sags in the middle, so I can’t even set a cup on it for fear the liquid might spill out, but I can still do my homework on it.

When I hear Joel trudge up the stairs, I jump up and race to my door. Peeking into the hall, the telltale scents of the restaurant that always cling to his clothes after a shift waft into my room. “Can you help me with my algebra?”

Joel whips his head toward Mom’s bedroom door, his eyes wide with alarm.

“She’s gone already.”

“Oh good. I was trying to walk quietly, but I’m bone tired. The restaurant was so busy tonight.” Joel follows me into my bedroom. After I flop into the desk chair, Joel leans over my shoulder to look at the textbook .

“I’ve been trying to figure it out all night, but I can’t get it.” I tap the paper with the pencil eraser. “Am I missing a step?”

Joel scans the example in the book, then looks at my work on the paper and nods. “Yeah, that’s exactly what happened.” He holds out his hand for the pencil and draws an arrow, pointing to where I skipped a step. Blinking, I stare between the example and my sheet. Suddenly, I see what I missed and lunge for the pencil to correct the error and resolve the rest of the problem.

“There you go,” Joel says.

“Ugh! I stared at it for so long,” I groan. “How did I not see that?”

Joel ruffles my hair. “Probably because you stared at it for so long. Sometimes leaving it be and coming back to it later helps you to see it fresh.”

“Thanks, Joel.”

He looks at my laptop screen. “Job hunting?”

“I thought I’d see what’s out there. I’m not really qualified to do anything, though.”

Joel laughs. “Right.”

“I’m not! I’ve never had a job.”

He cocks his head. “You work at the animal shelter. You follow a daily routine, you interact with the public, and you handle cash. All of that can go on your resume.”

My eyes grow round with surprise. “I have a resume?”

“Well, you’ll have to type it out, but sure, you have stuff to put on your resume. Your word processor software will have a resume template you can use. You actually have really good experience. You should be a contender for whatever job you want.”

“Wow. I never would have thought to use the work I do at the shelter as experience. Thanks, Joel.”

“What kind of job are you thinking of getting? ”

I sigh heavily. “I don’t know. I’m way too clumsy to be a server.”

“That’s for sure.” Joel laughs. “What about the pet store? It would be like what you do at the shelter, right?”

“Yeah, maybe!” I slug Joel in the arm. “You’re so smart. What am I going to do when you’re gone?”

Joel’s expression shutters. “Ava, I feel terrible leaving you alone here.”

“Thanks.” My heart squeezes with a combination of sadness and fear. “I mean, I get it. I’m actually jealous.”

My brother’s expression opens a little, erasing some of that intimidating darkness that seems to close him down. “You’re not mad?”

“Mad? At you?”

He nods, his brows lifting in question.

“No, why would I be mad? You’re not leaving me, Joel. This is a normal part of life. All of Sam’s siblings have moved out.” I glance at the door to make sure no one’s there, though Grandma’s the only one home and she rarely comes upstairs anymore. “You might be moving out a little faster than most, but even that isn’t unusual. You easily found two friends who are doing it with you. Do they have horrible home lives to run from?”

Joel shakes his head. “They just want to move out.”

“Exactly. It’s normal. Don’t feel guilty.” I dip my head until I’m in Joel’s line of sight as he stares moodily down at the floor. “Hey, you can make up for it by inviting me over. A lot.”

He laughs. “You sure you want to sacrifice time at Sam’s to hang out with me?”

I lift my hands. “See? Between the two of you, I’ll rarely have to be here anyway.”

“You’ll let me know if it gets worse, right?”

I roll my eyes. “How could it get worse?”

Joel’s expression grows stormy. “Too many ways, Ava. But don’t think you have to keep it to yourself or that you are bothering me with it. Got it?”

Unexpected tears burn behind my eyes. My voice feels trapped inside my throat, so I can only nod.

“Need any other help with your homework?”

“No thanks, it was just that last problem I couldn’t figure out.”

“Okay. I’m beat. I’m going to bed.”

After Joel pulls my door closed, I pack my homework into my backpack. Seeing the cover of the algebra textbook, as I slide it into the pack, reminds me of the notes I found in Teresa’s book about Dylan.

I change into my pajamas, while I consider what I read. Again, I try to recall whether I heard that Teresa and Dylan were dating or if I’ve seen them together and assumed it. But I can’t even remember seeing Dylan before. We’ve always gone to school together, so I’ve clearly seen him around, but nothing stands out like seeing him with that sophomore, the other day, does. That image is clear in my head. Probably because we volunteer together now. It gives me a reason to remember. I wonder if I’ve always seen him around, but never made note of it because I had no reason to care?

I snatch my phone from the bed and open the text string with Sam and Bek.

Me: Do either of you know if Dylan dated Teresa Walberg?

Bek: No idea. He’s sweet though. And she isn’t.

I squint at the message. Is Bek messing with me? It’s always so hard to tell with my space cadet friend.

Sam: Why?

Sam: OMG – you are NOT starting to like him. Are you?

Me: What? NO!!!

Me: I had to borrow Teresa’s math book today and she had a bunch of stuff written about him. Some of it was XXX-rated.

Sam: [wide eye emoji] Do tell !

Me: There’s no way I’m typing that kind of stuff out.

Bek: According to Sarah W, they never dated.

Sam: Why do you text with the school gossip?

Bek: Class project.

Me: Thanks for checking. That’s even more interesting. Why would Teresa know the size of Dylan’s manhood if she’s never dated him?

Sam: [three wide-eye emojis] [three laughing/crying emojis]

Bek: She probably wants to know. She has a crush. Like you.

Me: I don’t have a crush! Don’t even say that!

Sam: Methinks the lady doth protest too much

Me: Shakespear (sp?) from the non-reader among us?

Sam: Everybody knows that quote! But I had to Google it.

Me: [l aughing/crying emoji ]

Bek: [rolling on the floor laughing face]

Me: And can’t a girl just be curious? Sheesh, you guys. I’m going to bed!

Bek: Sweet dreams

Sam: Yeah, dream about your booooooyfriend!

Me: I hate you, Sam! Bek [heart emoji]

I yawn and stretch my arms toward the ceiling, enjoying the release of tension the action affords. A string of emojis from Sam pop up, one after the other on my phone. I watch them scroll by and I’m laughing long before they stop having anything to do with our conversation.

After plugging my phone into the charger, I switch my light off and curl up in bed. Bek accusing me of having a crush on Dylan makes me roll my eyes before I close them for the night.

It’s ridiculous.

Right?