Page 12 of Bad Boy Bakers, Vol. 2

Oh, if she chose to go through with this, he’d stand by her.

She knew that. He’d give all the support she and a child needed because he knew what it was to be without.

But what if this baby meant she stopped mattering?

That was how a lot of people saw it. That the moment another life was made, the mother ceased to exist as a person.

She was an incubator, and her dreams, her everything, were supposed to be put on the back burner for the sake of the child, because that was what a “good” woman did.

If Cash believed that, it was going to absolutely break her heart.

Overwhelmed, she dropped into the chair at the little writing desk, pulling her feet onto the seat and wrapping her arms around her knees, as if the position would protect her from what was to come.

She’d done this so often as a child, in her room, in closets, wherever she and Holt had hidden to get away from the fights between their mother and her latest disappointment of a boyfriend, or the emotional tantrums she threw when they left and she fell into a bottle.

But her brother wasn’t here to protect her now.

He didn’t have an arm around her and wasn’t singing an endless parade of Disney tunes and Broadway musicals to distract her. She had to face this alone.

Alone was fucking terrifying.

It wasn’t that Cash would rage. That wasn’t his way. But this would change them, and she’d only just realized she desperately wanted to keep the them they’d become.

At the sound of the knob, Hadley tightened her hold on her legs and sent up a silent prayer that she didn’t somehow make this worse than it already was.

Cash stepped into the room, his gaze moving unerringly to her. His brows drew together in instant concern, and she could see him shifting into action mode, already striding toward her.

“What’s wrong?”

Hadley held up a hand to stay him. She wanted his comfort almost more than her next breath, but she didn’t think she could get through this if he touched her. And a part of her wasn’t sure she deserved that comfort.

He stopped two steps away, that groove between his brows deepening. “Hadley?”

“It was mine.” She blurted it out. And damn it, that wasn’t how she’d meant to begin. But the fear was multiplying like ants in her chest, and she had to let it out somehow.

“What was yours?”

“The pregnancy test.”

He stared at her, his big brain clearly not processing that.

“The one the dog had last night.” She closed her eyes. “It… wasn’t an evaporation line.”

“You’re pregnant?” There was only the faintest rising of his tone, which, in Cash-speak, was pure shock.

Hadley nodded, struggling to hold back the flood of tears that wanted to fall. She had no doubt there’d be many, but she needed to get through this first.

Bracing herself, she met his gaze head-on. “I didn’t do this on purpose.” It seemed absolutely vital to establish that, as they both knew women around them where they grew up who’d done that.

“I know you didn’t.” The absolute certainty in the statement had some of the knots in her stomach unraveling.

Moving slowly, as if he thought she might spook, he closed the distance between them, gripping the arms of the chair to pull it over to the bed. Then he sat and gently pried one of her hands free to fold into his. That simple gesture all but undid her because he wasn’t pushing her away.

“Okay. How do you want to handle it?”

She blinked at him. “You’re not going to make declarations?”

“No.” His tone was low and soft, and she had the impression he was treating her like a bomb that could go off at any moment. It wasn’t an inaccurate comparison. “I can express my opinion, but it’s your body, your choice. I’d rather know how you feel about it before I get into my thoughts.”

“I don’t even know how I feel. I swore I’d never let this happen again.”

He was good at shielding his emotions, but not good enough to cover the tremor that went through him at the statement. “Again?”

This was the part she feared the most. Admitting her truth and not knowing how he’d react. Swallowing hard, she curled tighter against her knees.

“After Holt went into the Army and I was out on my own, I got involved with this guy. I was careful. He… was not. When I turned up pregnant, he bailed. There was a part of me that was glad of that, because I knew getting married because of a baby was a terrible idea. That was how it started with my parents before my dad walked. Better he show his true colors before going down that path.” She sucked in a breath, wishing it did anything to calm her.

“I knew what it was to be raised by a single parent who couldn’t hack it.

I was eighteen. No education yet. No career.

I was barely supporting myself. I sure couldn’t support a child.

I had no one. Holt had only just gotten free of raising me, and I wasn’t about to ask him to help again.

Plus, I’m pretty sure he’d have killed the guy. Add to that, I kept thinking of you.”

“Me?”

“I had a front-row seat to how awful it was on you to be raised by a mother who resented you, who wasn’t ready to be a parent, who didn’t want you and took every opportunity to say so.

I wasn’t ready. I didn’t want that child.

Didn’t want a permanent tie with a guy who wasn’t going to stand by me.

There was no reason to expect he’d somehow come back and stand by the child, either. So I got an abortion.”

Back then, it hadn’t even been a question.

There was no other rational alternative.

“I’m so fucking thankful that I had the privilege of that.

That I lived in a state where it wasn’t a question.

Where I didn’t have to give up my life because of a mistake.

A lot of women aren’t that lucky. You and I both know that the people behind those rules don’t give a good damn about the life of a child once it exits the womb.

They don’t understand the reality of that hypothetical life. We do because we lived it.”

Hadley straightened her shoulders, feeling some defiance in the face of his absolutely unchanged expression. “We lived it,” she repeated. “And because we did, I got an abortion. I’ve never regretted it.”

She sat back in the chair, extracting her hand from his as she waited on the backlash for having made that decision, bracing herself for the judgment so many freely gave without knowing anything.

It was why she’d never told a soul what she’d done.

But now she’d told the man she loved. Her truth was out there, a bomb lying between them.

And she was bracing herself for the detonation that would mean the end of them.