Page 33 of Back for More

“I have been a professional actress and waitress for years. I am quite capable of remembering one short sentence. Anything else?”

“We’ll have to get my evaluation to the client tomorrow, so I need all of that information, including whatever Chris has for me, by lunch.”

“And so you shall have it.”

He opens up his laptop. “Fantastic.That’s all for now.”

I shut the door to his office when I leave so he can’t see me jotting down:Call Brian Jacobi re. operating statements for past 3 years and current rent role (?) for strip mall Roseburg. Get info from Chris.

If he were a customer at one of my tables, he would so get a coffee mug full of my steaming hot saliva. But he’s my boss. And I’m going to be a good assistant, whether we like it or not. And he’s already had enough of my saliva for 24 hours.

When I’m back at my desk and kicking myself because I won’t have time to stop off at a toy store to buy gifts for Alecia’s kids on my way to lunch, I look up and see two little stuffed animals floating around in the doorway. They’re attached to two uncomfortably small male hands, and they’re very lucky they can’t smell the cologne that Dan bathed in this morning.

“Morning, Dan,” I say just loud enough that Wes can hear through the door, even though he’s on the phone. “You weren’t kidding when you said you were fun.”

He steps into the office, grinning. “I always give my new assistants a little something for their desks, and I figured Carver would be a little lacking in the welcome wagon department, so…these are for you.” He places a little stuffed toy beaver and rooster on my desk.

I scan his face, looking for clues as to whether or not this is a joke—because if it is, it’s kind of funny in a super douchebaggy sort of way. But he’s looking at me like he’s presented me with a couple of Tiffany boxes and waiting for me to fellate him in gratitude.

“Wow,” I deadpan. “A little cock and beaver party right here on my desk.”

“Cute, right?”

Again, I look for clues in his expression, but I think Dan may not be familiar with these particular slang terms for male and female genitalia. “Socute. Thank you, Dan. I will think of you every time I look at them.”

And Alecia and I will have a good laugh when I present them to her son and daughter at lunch. Thank you, Universe. You always provide.

“Well, if you really want to thank me,” he says, “you can have lunch with me today.”

Wes’s office door opens so aggressively, it startles both of us.

“Hello, Dan,” Wes snarls, fixing him with a glare that probably makes Dan pee himself a little. “What can I do for you?” he asks as he crosses over to stand right behind me. He rests his left hand on the edge of the desk next to me. His other arm grazes my shoulder as he grips the back of my chair. “Can you pull up the Roseburg comps for me so I can check something, Lily?” he says gruffly.

“Sure,” I say, opening the file on my monitor.

Wes leans down, as if to inspect something on the screen, his face right next to mine.

I clear my throat. “Uh, I actually already have lunch plans with a girlfriend today, Dan. Maybe another time, though, thanks.”

“Yeah, thanks, Dan. If you’ll excuse us, we have work to do.”

“Another time,” Dan says, buttoning up his suit jacket. “Enjoy the toys.”

“Oh, they have already brought me great joy. Thank you again.”

He nods and exits.

Wes straightens up and steps away from me. “Have you called Jacobi yet?”

“I was just about to.”

“Do it.”

“Doing it,” I affirm as I reach for the phone.

“And I need you back here by two, you know.”

“Well aware. Do you mind? I’m making a call.”