Page 20

Chapter twenty

I t was the night before we were scheduled to leave for the light court. My stomach was in knots. I hadn’t thought of that place in so long, and I had hoped never to return. I would be happy to see Levos and Gaelin, but I wished they were coming here instead … to my home. The thought of that wretched place made me sick.

I pushed the memories from my mind as I sat at the seat in front of my vanity. I looked down at the small box I held in my hand and admired the jeweler’s handiwork. I’d had a ring created for Eren that mirrored the one he gave me on our wedding day. The outer metal was silver, and the center contained a beautiful green ribbon of stone the same color as my eyes.

I smiled at the piece of art, imagining what it would look like on his finger. It was a very human thing to do, but since he had given me his ring at our wedding and repeated the human wedding vows to me, I wanted him to know I felt the same.

I knew he wanted and cared for me, but a part of me still doubted he could love. Even though Lily swore he did, he had yet to tell me, and I wasn’t going to push to hear those words. I closed the box and slid it into my drawer just before he came into the room. He leaned against the door, admiring me in the mirror. I turned to him with a flirtatious smile.

“Erendrial Lyklor, at a loss for words. Hell must be freezing over,” I said, standing to my feet.

He laughed, approaching me slowly, looking me up and down. “You look stunning … though, I was imagining you naked.”

I hit him, trying to restrain my laughter. “You look very handsome too, husband. Are you ready for our last dinner among our own, before we must descend upon the horrid light court?”

“It won’t be so horrid. Think of all the trouble we can get into while we’re there. Voz and Oz are already making wagers about how many high ladies they are going to bed. I say you and I focus on how many times we can make the light queen explode.” He wrapped his arms around my waist, pulling me closer towards him.

“I will win that wager,” I said, taking in his sweet scent of oranges and whiskey.

“You’re right … you would win that one. How about I piss off Gaelin, and you take Daealla. Winner gets the other as a sex slave for a week.”

“I’m already your sex slave, Erendrial Lyklor, and no. You leave Gaelin alone. He hasn’t done anything wrong.”

Eren rolled his eyes and exhaled. “Always so protective of that one. Ruining my fun. Speaking of, how do you think he will react seeing us together?”

I pulled away, trying not to think of the pain that would be written all over Gaelin’s face. “Levos said he didn’t speak to anyone for a week after the wedding, but the fact that we weren’t getting along eased his pain a bit,” I confessed.

Eren wrapped his arms around me from behind as he kissed my imprint. “And now that we are in a very … very good place … how fast do you think he is going to explode with jealousy and rage?” he whispered, kissing me along my neck.

I giggled at the feeling, turning around to face him. I exhaled, thinking about how we should handle the situation.

He bent down, trying to catch my eyes. “What’s rolling around in that beautiful head of yours?”

“Should … should we maybe not flaunt our desire in front of him? Don’t you think we should focus on a peaceful negotiation, since we need them to battle the creatures and the rift? Just until we come to an agreement on how to handle everything,” I said.

Eren pulled away slowly. “You mean, you want to resume the facade that we aren’t together? That I’m just the arrogant and manipulative lowborn that stole the crown?”

I could hear the hurt in his voice. I reached out, trying to reassure him. “I don’t think that of you. You know I don’t. I just … we need these negotiations to go smoothly. We all know how they both react when we’re around. Our world is in danger, and we need an alliance with them if we are to push the creatures back.”

He exhaled, thinking my words over. “I suppose we’ll have to stay in different rooms during our time there as well. And I will have to tolerate his nightly visits to your chambers.”

“Eren, I don’t want him like that. You know I don’t,” I said, taking his face into my hands.

He removed my hands from his face, a mask descending to swallow his pride and pain. “You say that, but your actions don’t,” he replied in a low and heavy voice. He couldn’t bring his eyes up to mine.

“Eren, I—”

“Come. We’re going to be late for dinner,” he said, extending his arm to me.

I took it, a weight in my chest pressing down against me. How could he think I would ever choose Gaelin over him? The ring would prove my devotion to him. I would give it to him tonight, so he had a piece of me before we went to the light court.

That night at dinner, I could tell he was fighting to hold in his real feelings. He smiled and held conversations with the others at our table, but he was raw. I reached for his hand, and he took it, but it was more a forced response than his normal adoring affection.

Halfway through our meal, two female alfar signaled for Eren’s attention. I had seen them a few times in the city, but I had never made their acquaintance. Eren saw them and gave a faint smile before leaning into my ear.

“I’ll meet you back in your room a little later. I have some business to attend to. Don’t wait up,” he whispered, kissing me on my cheek before going to them. Evinee strolled to his side, taking his arm with hers as the four of them conversed for a second before leaving the throne room.

I leaned across the table to Voz. “Who are those two females Eren just left with?” I asked.

He turned to catch a glimpse of them. “Oh, those are the two madams. They run the gentlemen’s club in the city,” answered Voz.

I felt the bile slowly rising in my throat. “And … what business would Eren have with them?”

“Eren is one of their investors. He tries out the new product as it comes into the club. He also helps with their finances and operation. Evinee joined them a few decades back. She helps with the product as well.”

I swallowed hard, trying to seem unfazed. “And by product you mean …”

“The new human girls we acquire from The Frey.”

I pulled away from the table, trying to retain any sense of composure I had left. He tried out the product, which meant he was going to the club to … I closed my eyes, trying to bury the pain and jealousy consuming me. I stood, knowing I had to leave before I became an emotional mess.

“Thank you. Have a good night, Voz,” I said, kissing my father on the cheek before I retired to my room.

I sat on my bed, torturing myself with images of his naked body and the bodies of all those new human girls. How many would he test out tonight? Would Evinee be one of them? Surely she would find a way. I pushed the thoughts out of my mind, moving to the bathroom to drown my feelings in the bathtub.

No matter how hard I tried, I couldn’t stop obsessing. I sat at my vanity after dressing and ran the brush through my hair. I pulled open the drawer where the small box that contained his ring lay. I held it, looking down at the meaningless piece of metal.

I only wanted him. I only desired him. He was enough for me. Why wasn’t I enough for him? I threw the box into the drawer and slammed it, covering my mouth. Tears began to fall from my face even though I fought them. I felt stupid and foolish. This was how things were here. I had to find a way to be okay with this—to look the other way when he chose to sleep with others.

A part of my heart broke. If I was to do this, if I was to be okay with this type of relationship, I had to change. I couldn’t look at him or be with him like I was currently. That part of me had to die. I had to realized that I was never going to have him fully. I would have to tell him, and he would have to understand.

I went onto the balcony and looked up at the stars. I found my escape while my mind quieted and my heart went numb. I lost track of time as the cool summer breeze drifted past my face.

A pair of arms wrapped around my waist. He buried his head in my neck. I turned to see a dark head of hair.

“What are you still doing up?” Eren said with a smile. “I thought I’d find you sound asleep in bed by now.”

I forced a smile. “I couldn’t sleep. I just have a lot on my mind,” I replied, trying to sound normal.

He gave me that devilish grin I adored. He took my hands and began pulling me back into the room. “Why don’t you join me for a bath while I distract that overactive mind of yours?”

I dug in my heels. “I already bathed, but thanks,” I replied, looking away. He searched my eyes. He knew me. He could sense I was off.

“Then wait for me in bed, and I will make my bath quick,” he said, kissing me softly on the lips.

I closed my eyes tightly as pain shot through me like a lightning bolt. I nodded. He turned and headed back into the room. I let out a few more tears once I was alone, commanding myself to stop acting like such an emotional human. I got into bed and waited for him, just as he instructed.

When he emerged, making his way over to me. He only wore his silk black night pants. His torso rippled with muscle. His wide shoulders and broad chest looked magnificent. His raven black hair still dripped with water. A smile stretched across my face, but quickly faded as I wondered how many women had enjoyed his body tonight.

He began to kiss me tenderly while his hands roamed under my gown. I closed my eyes, trying to focus on the contact instead of the pain inside. How did everyone else seem able to shut off their emotions and just enjoy sex, except for me? He kissed down my body, pulling the dress higher until his lips grazed my bare thighs. I leaned my head back against the pillow, trying to enjoy his mouth on my skin, but all I could think about was how many other bodies those lips had pleasured this evening.

How many other women had he kissed, or touched, or enjoyed? I exhaled deeply, forcing those thoughts from my head, but my body wouldn’t comply. No matter what I did, I couldn’t enjoy myself. I felt Eren push up and place himself next to me. I opened my eyes and turned to see his attention on my face while he rested his head on his propped elbow.

“Okay, what is the matter, princess?” he asked casually.

I looked away, trying to gather myself, then turned on my side to meet his gaze. “Eren, you make me so happy, and I want to be able to do the same for you,” I started.

He smiled, arching his eyebrow towards me. “And what makes you think I am not happy?”

“It’s not that … I just … this is all very new to me, and I am trying to adjust while mentally and emotionally preparing myself for this kind of relationship.”

“And what kind of relationship are you referring to?”

I took a moment, gathering my confidence to say it out loud. “The type of relationship where I have to share you with others. So, I’ve made a list of boundaries that I am hoping will ease us both into this uncharted territory.”

He paused, furrowing his brow.

“I don’t expect you to only be with me, and I know I am going to have to get used to you having relations with other females. Like tonight, when you went to test out the new girls at the club. And with Evinee, and whoever else you choose, but for me to survive this, I need you to understand that I am going to have to change as well. I may … I may not be able to be as free with you as I have been these past few weeks. I need to guard myself to make this work. I want you to be happy and I would never take your freedom away, but—” I stopped, tears welling in my eyes. I closed them tightly, holding them back.

“Gen—” he said, rubbing my face with his hand.

I inhaled, gathering myself. “I need to know that I am the most important person in your life. That my needs matter to you, and that you will respect me and what I ask of you moving forward.” I opened my eyes to see his head shaking. I took a deep breath, trying to regain control.

“Princess, there is no question that you are the most important female in my life. And for the record,” he said softly, scooting closer to me. “You are and will be the last person I ever choose to lay with.”

My eyes snapped up to his. “What?”

“What did I promise you our first night together? I promised to make you happy. I knew when I made that promise that it meant only being with you, and I am very much okay with that. More than okay with that. I haven’t been with anyone since the morning after the sacrifice.”

My head was reeling. “But … what about Evinee?” I asked.

“She has feelings for me. She came to me the day of our wedding and confessed those feeling, but I made it very clear who I wanted, and that person is you. She is still having a hard time with it, but I haven’t touched her.”

“So, you’re okay with only being with me for the rest of your life?” I asked in astonishment.

He gave a faint laugh. “I am honored to stand by your side, to share your bed, and to build a life with you, for the rest of mine.”

A cry of pure happiness and joy escaped me. I threw myself at him, taking his mouth with mine. I ravenously devoured him wholly … completely … entirely. I pulled away to catch my breath, pinning him underneath me.

“Say it,” I demanded.

“Say what?”

“Say that your mine. Only mine.”

“I’m yours, princess. Now and always.”

I spent the next hour worshiping his body. After I had exhausted him, we lay in each other’s arms, sated. He ran his fingers along my spine, kissing me softly. My head snapped up, remembering his present.

He fell back on the pillow. “What is it now?” he asked exasperatedly.

“I almost forgot. I have a something for you.”

He pinned me to the bed and began kissing the side of my face. “I suppose I have another few rounds left in me.”

I laughed, pushing him back. “Not that. Now, lay back and close your eyes.”

He exhaled and did as I asked. I went to my vanity, pulling the small black box from the drawer before returning to the bed. I snapped the lid open and held my breath, then slid it onto his finger.

Holding his hand, I leaned into his ear and whispered, “with this ring, I take thee, Erendrial Valor Lyklor, to be my dashing husband. To have and to hold from this day forward. For better, for worse, for richer, for poorer. In sickness and in health, to love and to cherish from this day on. I give myself to you completely and take you as you are. Perfect in every way.”

I pulled away slowly. He opened his eyes and looked down at the ring. His face was hard to read. There was no smile, no glint in his eyes. I waited patiently for a response, but time slowed while he fixated on the ring.

“I know it’s a very human thing to do,” I started to say, “but I wanted you to have something that reminded you of me. You don’t have to wear it if you don’t want to. I understand that things are diff—”

“I love you, Genevieve,” he said softly.

The breath snagged in my lungs. “You … you love me?”

“I thought I’ve made that quite obvious.”

“I just … I never expected you to say it. I thought you were incapable of love.”

“I was. Until I met you. I tried fighting it. I tried running from it, denying it even, but if I am being honest, I think I’ve been in love with you since our first encounter at the light court in the hallway. You are the part of myself I’ve always been missing. That part I didn’t know I was capable of accepting.”

I looked at the male who had come into my life like a whirlwind and changed everything. The male who had taught me how to forgive, who helped me find my voice, and had protected my heart since the first moment we had met. This connection … this love … I didn’t know it could exist.

“I love you too, Eren,” I whispered.

I stood in my room, watching as Atalee finished packing my trunk. I didn’t want to leave my home. I didn’t want to go back to that torturous court, but I didn’t have a choice. I had a job, and a mission that was bigger than myself or my fears. I was stronger now. I had faced what had happened to me and I had won.

Eren wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. I leaned into him. “You’re going to be fine,” he reassured, kissing the side of my head. “No one there is going to hurt you. And if they try, I will personally help Otar tear them limb from limb.”

“Or I can just accidentally set a fire and burn the whole place to the ground, like Maleki did. I think he and I would have gotten along splendidly.”

He laughed. “I think the Dark Flame would give you away, but if that is what you choose to do, I am sure we can swing it in our favor.”

I turned to him, burying my nose into his chest. “Let’s get this done so we can return home as quickly as possible.”

“Agreed. Now, what mask should I wear while we are there? Overprotective husband? Arrogant whore? Sarcastic manipulator?”

I pulled away from him. “I’m sorry you have to wear a mask at all. It’s just until we get them to agree. Then, I will talk to Gaelin. I promise.”

He ran his hand down my neck, to my chest, and then the side of my waist. “How am I going to refrain from touching you?”

“Maybe you won’t have to. I am your wife after all. Maybe you can wear the mask of the handsy sarcastic manipulator.”

He smiled down at me. “Does that mean I get to touch you wherever I want?” he asked, leaning into me, tracing his fingers up my dress.

I lost my breath as the bundle of nerves in between my legs began to swell from the contact. “How do you do that?” I whispered in a gasping tone.

“I know what my wife likes.” He kissed me just as his family came barging through the door. He dropped his hand, exhaling in frustration. Lily was with them. Voz and Oz chuckled at us while the others acted like they didn’t see anything.

“Everything is ready,” reported Leenia.

“Good, we should get going then. The faster we leave the faster, we can return,” said Eren, winking at me.

I walked to Lily and took her into my arms. “I’m going to miss you,” I said to her.

“Actually, I am going with you,” she said.

“What? No, I would never bring you to that place.”

“I tried talking her out of it, but she insisted,” added Zerrial.

“I will be safe with all of you there, and I am just another human. I will blend in,” said Lily.

“Lily, Urial is not like Doonak. They don’t treat humans the same there. If anything happened to you, I—”

“She will be safe,” Zerrial said firmly.

“Yeah, plus, if they mess with me, I’ll just have my sister unleash the Dark Flame on their asses,” Lily said, wrapping her arms around Zerrial as she smiled.

I laughed at her, shaking my head. “Did you just say ‘asses’?” I asked.

She shrugged. “What? I am not the same innocent little lamb I was back in The Frey. You’re not the only who has changed, dear sister,” Lily said, winking at me.

I looked at Zerrial sternly.

“She will be safe, Princess Genevieve. I swear it on my life,” he reassured me.

I looked back at Lily and gave her a slight nod. “Don’t go anywhere without one of us, understood?” I asked her.

“Got it,” she said, beaming with excitement.

I turned back to Eren as we headed for the main gate. We each called our ragamors and took off into the sky, towards the palace that had been my prison for far too long.