Page 12

Chapter twelve

Erendrial

K nock. Knock. I pulled my heavy head from the pillow, still feeling the effects of my nightly bender. I groaned, allowing my head to fall back into my misery. Maybe if I ignored whoever was at the door, they’d get the hint and leave me the fuck alone.

Knock. Knock. “Fuck,” I roared, pushing myself from the safety of my bed. I slid on a shirt before going to answer the door. I swung it open, ready to incinerate whoever was on the other side. “What?” I snapped, before I was able to focus on who had disturbed my slumber.

“Prince Lyklor,” Atalee’s small voice replied.

I ran my hands over my face, leaning sloppily against the door frame. “Atalee,” I replied, “I’m sorry for my rude behavior. What is it I can do for you?”

She held out an envelope addressed to me. “From the princess.”

I looked down at the familiar writing. I took it, nodding to Gen’s handmaid. “Thank you.”

She curtsied before retreating into the safety of the halls. I slammed the door, leaning against the solid surface while I examined the envelope further. Gen hadn’t followed me to my rooms last night, even though I had bet myself she would. Stubborn. Hardheaded. Willful. Those were the adjectives I would use to describe my wife. Qualities that, though they pained my very existence, I also adored.

I poured myself a warm drink, liquor free for once, and then settled into the chair in front of the fire. I turned the envelope over and over, debating if I should indulge in her latest attempt to rectify matters between us. Her newfound obsession with seeking my absolution was a breath of fresh air, but could I trust her? She could be conniving and calculative when she wanted to be. Also traits I adored about the little half-breed … just not when they were used on me.

Had she really come to her senses? Did she no longer fear me? Or was this another frantic attempt to secure her position? My instincts were screaming to toss the letter into the fire, though my heart was desperate to read what hid inside.

Against my better judgement, I slid my thumb under the opening, ripping the thin parchment wide open. I took the folded letter from its confinement.

Eren,

Last night at dinner, you asked me to give you time and space. Two things I reluctantly agreed to, even though I want neither. I take responsibility for my part that has led us to where we are today. We’ve both made mistakes, said things to hurt the other, or done things to protect ourselves instead of being vulnerable and open to the possibility of a happiness neither of us have ever known.

So, I have decided to go about this differently. As you take the time you need to sort through your thoughts and emotions, I will be patient, and vulnerable. But know there is no other place I would rather be than by your side.

As thoughts or feelings that I wish to share with you surface, I will write them down, sharing every honest, ugly, scared, or happy feeling I have. Before our marriage … before our physical relations, you were once my friend. Someone I trusted with the darkest parts of me. You never used those things against me, and I never thanked you for that. So, here I am … choosing to trust you. Choosing to be honest with you, in hopes that you will see my true intentions.

You fought for me … and now it’s my turn to fight for you … for us.

Yours always,

Genevieve

I folded the paper, pondering over her words. Yet, it didn’t change a thing. I refused to live a life with someone who I would have to question their intent daily. Maybe this letter was real. Maybe her feelings had changed. If she had finally pulled herself out of the dark pit she had called home for so long, I was happy for her. I wanted her to be safe, to be happy, but I no longer believed that I was the person to provide that for her. Regardless of her feelings now, she had done a great job convincing me I was worthless. A little too good a job, if I was honest.

I tossed the letter on my desk before dressing for the day. The one good thing about being the crowned prince was that there was always something for me to handle. My schedule was full, which left me little time to think about my marriage.

The next few days, I received more letters from Gen, outlining the experience of the trauma she had endured. The letters were indeed vulnerable and raw. My heart broke for her, reading what she had witnessed through her own eyes.

At dinner, she began asking me to dance. Even though I was appreciative of her trusting me with the letters, I was not ready to venture down this path. There was still so much that needed to be resolved. I loved her … that would never change, but could I be with her? Could I be the male she needed? Was I enough?

Zerrial and the others convinced me to join them for a drink at the alehouse deep within the city. I wasn’t much for company these days, but it was better than being stuck alone with my own demons.

The alehouse was packed. Live music and dancing filled the area while ale spilled from the pitchers. The place had low lighting and wooden furniture. It was hot and loud, but it was lively.

Doria and Leenia’s laughter filled the room. I smiled, looking over at the two females who I had come to care for like family. Doria’s short, black hair bobbed from her thunderous roar. Leenia’s radiant red eyes filled with tears of joy while she fought to finish telling Doria whatever had made her lose all sense of control.

Firel sat next to them, not engaging in their nonsense. His shabby brown hair was tussled as usual. The male was brilliant, though his personality needed work. My eyes scanned over Zerrial, who had Lily tucked safely in his arms while she giggled. I laughed to myself. Zerrial, the wild beast who could not be tamed, had allowed a mere human to become his undoing.

In a corner by the bar, Evinee was currently destroying a handful of males in a game of darts. If there was ever a female equivalent of myself … it was her. Conniving, deadly, too smart for her own good, yet horribly tormented. Ev’s best quality was her loyalty, and I would never take that for granted.

This was my family. The ones who truly knew me and would never abandon me. Even though things didn’t always go as I would have liked, I had them … and they were more than enough. I inhaled deeply, catching the scent of lavender and sandalwood. I scanned the room, searching for the source. There, in the doorway of the alehouse stood Genevieve in a sinfully short, green dress.

She eagerly looked through the crowd, her expression uncomfortable before finally she spotted me. I looked away, taking a shot of liquor before refilling my glass.

“Hey!” yelled Lily, signaling for her to join us. “You decided to come after all. I am glad. It’s about time you had some fun.”

“Yea,” replied Gen, taking a seat across from me. “Thanks for the invite, Lily.” Her eyes drifted to mine, followed by a small, anxious smile.

Evinee came out of nowhere, landing directly in my lap, wrapping her arms around my neck before planting a lingering kiss on my cheek.

“What’s it going to take to get a smile out of you?” she said with an arched brow. “Name your cure. A trove of beautiful naked females, maybe? Whatever it is, I will make it happen, but for all our sakes, please shove this stuffy Lyklor look-a-like back wherever you got him and deliver me my warm and flirty companion.”

I chuckled with amusement, shaking my head at my friend’s theatrical performance. I caught Gen shoot Lily an unsure glance.

Lily shrugged and tried to gather everyone’s attention. “The twins were just about to take the stage.”

Doria winked at Oz. “Always the highlight of my night.”

Gen asked, “do you two sing?”

Oz scoffed, “not only do we sing …”

“… but we dance and play instruments,” added Voz.

“There’s really nothing we can’t do,” bragged Oz.

Leenia brought her drink to her lips. “I’ll vouch for that.”

Doria nudged her, causing liquid to spill from the cup. They all began laughing.

The twins took the stage as the highlight of our night began. They played the guitar and violin while they sang and danced to an upbeat tune. The dance floor filled with alfar and humans alike. They danced a quick and choreographed number. A male came up to Evinee, offering his hand to her. She took it as he pulled her off my lap.

Lily looked up to Zerrial, begging to dance with her beautiful hazel eyes. He exhaled and then smiled, pulling her to the floor, leaving Gen and I alone at the table.

“Do you want to dance?” she asked.

I shook my head, watching my friends have fun on the floor. She took another sip of ale.

“The twins are amazing,” she commented. “Do they do this all the time?”

I nodded, not looking up from my glass. “I’m going to go get another round,” I said, removing myself from the awkward isolation that was our marriage.

I lounged against the bar, waiting to get the barkeep’s attention. My eyes trailed from the dance floor back to Gen. Tryverse had found his way to her side. Bile rose in my throat at the sight of the two of them together. The thought of that reckless male touching my wife made me want to go mad.

I took the bottle, making my way over to them. As I got closer, I was able to make out the tail end of their conversation.

“And I told you,” whispered Gen, “it isn’t going to happen.”

“What isn’t going to happen?” I interrupted, standing over them.

Tryverse stood up and bowed with a smug smile. “Nothing that concerns you,” he said with disrespect. “Princess, I will be seeing you around.”

Gen shot back the rest of her drink as I sat back in my chair in silence.

The rest of the night I allowed my family to distract me with their banter and playful spirits. Gen quietly watched, observing each of them. Though I was trying to remain detached from her, I couldn’t deny that every time she laughed or smiled at something they did, my heart warmed. This female held too much power over me … something I feared would be my undoing.

After the night was over, I walked her back to her room. We didn’t talk or touch on the way. The castle was quiet as everyone slept. As we approached her chambers, she turned back towards me, looking up with those radiant green eyes.

“Would you like to come in?” she asked.

“Not tonight,” I replied. She nodded, trying to hide the disappointment written all over her face. “Good night, princess.”

“Night, Eren.”

I turned, resisting the urge to take her in my arms, to kiss her, to feel her and taste every inch. I couldn’t let myself go down this path again. I had to regain control. Somehow, someway, I had to break the power she had over me. I returned to my room, alone.

Something soft and light brushed over my lips. I felt my nerves twitch in response. I allowed my sleep to take me back into a fitful slumber. Another soft, feathery touch grazed the side of my cheek. I flinched again, restlessly coming awake. I opened my eyes to see Evinee’s beautiful violet eyes smiling down at me. She giggled.

“Well, good morning, prince,” she said softly, brushing a feather against her chin.

I smiled, rubbing the sides of my face. “Did we have a meeting I forgot about?” I asked, pushing myself up.

“Nope, but I have moved to the second phase of my plan involving those wretched high houses who want you dead. I need your advice on which outfit you think I should destroy them in.”

I laughed, making my way to the bathroom. “It’s too early for this.”

“It’s never too early for lingerie,” she yelled after me, throwing a pillow that nailed me in the back of the head. I paused, looking back at her with an arched brow. She shrugged, giggling against my headboard. “Oops, sorry.”

After I got dressed, I sat back on the edge of the bed, waiting for the show Evinee insisted needed my opinion. She changed about a dozen times, not happy with the cut or material of some of the options. I sat back, listening as she dissected each option. Evinee was stunning, there was no doubt about that. I had never met a male that didn’t desire her. At one point, I had been one of those males.

Azeer, that felt like a lifetime ago. Evinee and I had once been something to each other, but we both agreed soon after that our relationship, if you could call it that, was doomed. That was why I had been so shocked about her confession before my wedding to Gen. In all our years together, I never had seen Evinee as vulnerable as she had been that day.

Evinee stood in front of me in revealing red lingerie. She twirled and flipped her hair as she showed off the outfit.

“I totally think the red one is my color,” she said, looking at herself in the mirror. “This is bound to get me what I want.”

“You’re going to traumatize the poor male,” I said.

She picked up a pillow next to her and threw it at me. “I am not! He is not going to know what hit him. Come on, like you aren’t thinking about me naked at this very minute.”

He chuckled, shaking his head.

I heard someone clear their voice. I turned to see Gen, standing in the threshold of my room with a tray of breakfast foods and tea. Evinee looked at her and then back to me, not knowing what to do. She curtsied.

“I’m just gonna—” Ev said, moving into the bathroom, leaving me alone to deal with yet another awkward encounter.

I stood, offering a small smile as I approached. “Good morning,” I said, sliding my hands into my pockets.

“I … ” she mumbled, not daring to look at me. “I figured since you were … working you probably hadn’t eaten so I brought you something to hold you over.”

I took the plate and set it on a nearby table. “Thank you, but I have servants for that. You’re the princess, remember?”

“Right,” she replied, fiddling with her hands.

Evinee came out of the bathroom fully dressed and made her way to the door. She stopped and looked between the two of us.

“I’ll let you know if I find anything,” Ev said uncomfortably.

“Thanks, Ev,” I said, nodding to her before she exited.

“Sorry I interrupted,” said Gen.

“It’s fine. We were finished anyway.” She stood in front of me, clearly at a loss for words. I couldn’t blame her.

“I’m just going to go,” she finally offered hesitantly. “I’ll see you at dinner.” She turned, heading for the door.

A part of me wanted to explain myself. To explain what she had just walked into, what we were planning and had been combating since the day I had been announced as victor of the tournament. But another part of me knew that keeping her in the dark would keep her safe. She already had so much to contend with as heir to her father’s throne. She didn’t need my ever-growing list of enemies added to hers.

Refraining from chasing after her, I slid my hands into my pockets and watched as she left my room.