Page 63 of Awakening

“What?”

“The bond Trystan and I will always have.”

Marc hesitated. He knew Emrys meant well. “That alone does not, but I know he loves you and you him. I worry that one day, I won’t be enough for him, or that something will change and you’ll take him, or that he’ll realize he’s in love with you and not me.”

“Trystan is your cymara, Marc. No bond is stronger. He is yours in this life.”

“But what if that changes?”

Emrys didn’t answer.

“It could, couldn’t it?”

Silence.

“You said things already appear to be changing. Trystan said the path keeps changing.”

“Marc…”

“Tell me the truth, Emrys. Is it possible I could lose him to you?”

Emrys glanced up from the smoking embers. His eyes held mixed emotions. Marc knew the answer without needing to hear it, and a part of his heart broke. How could fate do this to him? He’d met Trystan when he was a boy and he knew then that he loved Trystan. Fate had chosen them for each other and had bound them before they were even born. Their souls were whole when together. Marc knew that because he’d felt a type of contentment with Trystan he’d never experienced with anyone before. The moment Trystan came back into his life, he knew he couldn’t let him out of it again.

“I’m sorry, Marc. I’m doing everything I can to ensure he chooses you.”

“I somehow doubt that,” Marc retorted.

Emrys closed his eyes, pulling a deep breath into his lungs and releasing it. “I stole his memories,” he mumbled, almost hoping Marc wouldn’t hear. He was ashamed to admit he’d done such a thing, but it had been for the right reasons, hadn’t it?

“What do you mean, you stole his memories?”

“The day in Caerwynt, before the two of you were reunited… Trystan asked me if I’d ever been in love. I denied it, and the moment I did, I knew I’d broken his heart. Later, I’d admitted I’d lied and that I did love him, but told him he was meant for someone else. He asked why then did he love me… ‘Why does my heart reach for yours?’ he said…”

Emrys bent his head forward, rubbing his hand over his face.

“I kissed him, and then used my magic to take away any memories he’d had of loving me.” Emrys voice came out hoarse. “To this day, the memory of what I did tears me apart inside. Heaven help me, Marc, I did not want to do it. But I did. I made Trystan forget that he loved me. And I’ve been in pain ever since.”

“Because you remember?”

“Yes,” Emrys whispered. A long silence hovered between them. “He mustn’t know, Marc.”

“You keep a lot of secrets from him, don’t you?”

“Above all else, I must protect him.”

“Are you certain you did the right thing?”

Emrys gave his head a barely discernible shake. “I don’t know anymore,” he whispered, letting his head fall forward.

“You want to know something, Emrys? You make it really hard for me not to like you.”

***

The sun hung low on the western horizon as Trystan crested that last rolling hill between him and his fathers’ cottage. Artemis ran in front of them. He glanced toward Myrddin beside him and couldn’t help his smile as he fell in love with the vision to his left.

Emma sat just in front of Myrddin, asleep and snugly held in his embrace. Myrddin looked over, caught Trystan’s gaze, and gave him a reverent smile. There was so much adoration in Myrddin’s eyes… so much love…

For a moment, Trystan wondered what would happen upon his escape from this spurious land. Would he return to Marc and love only him. Or would he return knowing his love for Myrddin—or Emrys, as he’d always called him—had grown into something more. If Trystan remembered everything from this false reality—the emotions and all the intimate moments he’d shared with Myrddin—he wasn’t sure he could go back to Marc. Unless Emrys didn’t love him the way he did here.