Page 59 of Awakening
But then, why Emrys? And why did he use his given name here? Emrys did not follow him into the mist, so this Myrddin—who was every bit the Emrys he remembered and more—had to be part of the illusion. And why him and not Marc? Emrys was his closest friend, but Marc was who he’d fallen in love with, hadn’t he? In this world, he’d never known Marc. And the love he felt for Myrddin or Emrys seemed deeper than anything he’d ever known.
Then, there was Emma and Artemis.
A pain stung Trystan’s chest. Emma was their daughter in this false reality, and though she didn’t truly exist, the love Trystan had for her did. His love for her was real.
Myrddin’s strong hand caught his elbow and tugged him downward. “Angel.”
Trystan fought the urge to lie back down with Myrddin. He needed to escape this deception and get the very thing he’d come here for. The blood of Arthur.
Myrddin also couldn’t know. If he did, Trystan worried he’d try to keep him here or somehow make him forget what was real.
Trystan peered through the small gap behind the thick wool cloth covering the window. The land outside sat quiet under a veil of darkness, barely visible in the early glow of the predawn.
As he carefully slipped out of bed, he felt a heaviness in his groin. He reached down and found a large, semi-erect penis and scrotum between his legs. His breath hitched, and Trystan couldn’t resist wrapping his hand around himself. It was another temptation by the dark magic here in this realm, but for the moment, Trystan didn’t care. The sensations were exquisite and real and something he’d only ever dreamed of truly experiencing.
A soft moan fell out of him as he stroked his hardening dick. Myrddin stirred, shifting in the bed. Trystan quieted, stifling the sounds trying to escape him, but he couldn’t hold in the soft pants. Pleasure he hadn’t fully realized before built in his groin, surging up his shaft and before he could stop himself, his dick exploded and Trystan bit down hard on his lip, but the grunt in his throat still escaped. Sticky fluid shot from the slit, coating his hand, and Trystan reveled in the sheer joy of it all. He no longer had to imagine what it felt like.
Trystan’s heart raced, his breathing fast and hard, but beginning to slow. Myrddin still slept, unaware of Trystan’s moment of self-pleasure and discovery.
When the blissful sensations eased into sated contentment, he cleaned himself and dressed quietly. As much as he wanted to keep this body given to him by the dark magic, Trystan knew he couldn’t. He made his way outside and climbed the grassy, rocky hillside into which was partially built their earthen cottage. He stopped on a crest, high above the house but still far below the mountaintop, and gazed across the beautiful country to the south just as the first rays of the sun peaked over the eastern horizon.
Trystan sat for a few minutes to think on what needed to be done. He knew he couldn’t speak to anyone here about this deceptive reality. Perhaps he could come up with a reason to journey south, and somehow convince Myrddin to stay behind. And what of Emma? As far as his heart was concerned, here she was real. Trystan couldn’t see abandoning her for this quest, but if she came along, what would happen when the ancient magic released him? Would she cease to exist entirely? Or would she go on living in this cursed realm without him?
“Da?” Emma’s sweet voice drew his attention.
His daughter—no. Trystan shook his head. She wasn’t his daughter. She was a diversion meant to keep him happy here, as was Myrddin and this body.
The little girl with a mess of blonde waves falling over her shoulders scaled the hill to his right, her wolf trailing her, and sat beside him. “Why do you sit here alone and sad?”
“How do you know I’m sad?”
“You are not carving.”
Trystan sighed. “I am a little sad, bug.”
“Why?”
He glanced at Emma. Her earthy green eyes held innocent concern. “Because I have to leave, and I may not be able to return.”
“You would leave us?”
Trystan shook his head. “Not by choice.”
“You and Papa are so happy here. Why would you leave?”
“Something I must do to protect you and everyone I love.”
“Will it be dangerous?”
“I suspect so, yes.”
Emma studied him for a moment then hopped to her feet and took a few steps down the muddy, grassy slope. “Come on, Artemis!”
“Where are you off to, bug?”
“To tell Papa so we can go with you,” she hollered without looking back, mindful of her footing as she scurried a little further down the hill. “If you are going to protect us, then we will go to protect you and make sure we all come home together.”
A warmth bloomed in his chest followed by a sharp sting as Trystan’s brain absorbed her words.Make sure weall come home together.