Page 19 of At the Heart of It (The Can’t Have Hearts Club #4)

She bit her lip. “I can be pretty persuasive.”

A ghost of a smile tilted up one corner of his mouth. “I don’t doubt that.”

“I just—look, I’ve been thinking about the other night in your bookstore. About what happened.”

“What happened?”

His smile was full-on, and so she knew he was teasing her. But if she’d learned nothing else from all these damn self-help books, it was the importance of saying what was on her mind. Not skirting around the difficult conversations.

“I kissed you,” she said.

“And I kissed back.”

“Right. But what if I only kissed you because I was trying to manipulate you into doing the show?”

He looked amused by that notion, which Kate probably should have taken as an insult.

She waited for him to respond, but instead he lifted his glass and took a slow sip of beer.

She watched his throat bob as he swallowed, and for some reason her mouth began to water.

Glancing down at her own beer, she wondered if she should try it.

Instead, she set it on the coffee table.

Jonah lowered his glass next to hers and looked at her, eyes glinting with amusement. “You think I was so dazzled by your skillful use of tongue that I signed on the dotted line before my hard-on had gone down?”

“Jesus.” His words took her breath away. It was probably the shock value, not the thought of Jonah aroused. Not the thrill of thinking it might have been her who aroused him.

“You’re good, don’t get me wrong,” Jonah said, reading her thoughts. “But I have a little more self-control than that. The best thing I took away from my divorce is the ability to decide for myself what I want.”

He lifted the beer in a mock toast, then took a sip.

Kate glanced at Marilyn, who sat perched on the back of the sofa.

The cat wore a sharp look of scorn, but the fact that she was here in the first place underscored Jonah’s words.

The man could make his own decisions, so maybe Kate hadn’t pressured him into the show.

She looked back at Jonah, letting her gaze drop to his mouth.

She shivered as her brain filled with memories of what it felt like to kiss him.

What it felt like to have his hands in her hair, his body molded against hers.

With a shaky breath, she lifted her gaze to meet his.

“It doesn’t bother you to think I might have been trying to manipulate you? ”

“By kissing me?”

She nodded. “Kissing you and rubbing myself against you and—” The words made her dizzy, so she decided to stop there.

“ Were you trying to manipulate me?” He sounded more charmed than annoyed.

She hesitated, then glanced down at the beer. “I don’t think so, but I can’t say for sure. How self-aware is anyone, really, about why they do certain things?”

“Anyone ever tell you that you overthink things?”

“All. The. Time.” She meant for her tone to convey the gravity of the situation, but caught herself starting to smile. Okay, so this was a little absurd. She took a breath and met his eyes again. “I just don’t want you to blame me. If things go wrong, I mean.”

“Kate.”

“Yes?”

“I solemnly swear not to blame you—or your delectable lips—when things go wrong.”

Her breath caught on delectable .

Her brain caught on his choice of when instead of if .

The rest of her body was humming like she’d swallowed a shot of whiskey. She glanced at the beer glass on the coffee table and wondered if she’d absorbed some through her fingertips.

“Okay,” she said, though she couldn’t recall if she was agreeing to something or acknowledging what he’d said. What had he said again? The living room felt hot, and she wondered if it was from the fireplace or something else.

“Tell you what,” Jonah said. “How about we balance things out?”

Kate swung her gaze back to his. “How do you mean?”

“Well, since you seem so concerned about your own culpability and your intentions in kissing me, it only seems fair that I should kiss you now.” He smiled. “Just to set things right.”

Heat flooded her face. She tried to swallow, but discovered she couldn’t. “I—I’m not sure that’s a good idea.”

She knew it wasn’t a good idea. So why was she leaning closer?

She had every intention of standing up then. Putting some distance between her body and Jonah’s, maybe even leaving. It was late, and she’d said what she’d come to say. She really should go.

But somehow she found herself leaning in, pressing her palms to his chest, breathing in the woodsy scent of him as she tilted her head back and pressed her lips to?—

“Nope.” Jonah drew back, and Kate started to yank her hands off his chest. But Jonah was quick, catching her wrists to pin her palms in place.

“Not like that.” He grinned. “What part of ‘ I should kiss you ’ didn’t make sense?”

Kate swallowed. “The part where we both agreed we shouldn’t kiss at all.”

“Right, that part.” Jonah smiled again. “And that’s totally legit. Right after this kiss.”

Then his lips claimed hers. Any thought of leaving vanished the instant Kate felt his hand slide around her waist to settle in the small of her back. He pulled her against him, kissing hard and deep as Kate responded in kind.

She knew in theory it shouldn’t matter who kissed first when both parties were willing, but Jonah was right. There was something different about this. Maybe it was the way he angled his mouth against hers, the way he tasted like pumpkin spice.

Maybe it was his hand in her hair, the way he pulled her so tight against him that her body ached to slide onto his lap.

Maybe it was the thrill of knowing they shouldn’t be doing this.

Or maybe it was something else entirely, the knowledge that they seemed incapable of keeping their hands off each other no matter how many times they agreed it would be best.

Jonah broke the kiss first, but he didn’t let go of her. With his fingers still in her hair, he held her gaze with his. “Okay then.”

Kate took a shaky breath. “So we’re done with that.”

Jonah nodded. “I think we proved our point.”

“Which was?” Kate’s voice sounded high and tight, and she barely recognized it as her own.

“I forget.” Jonah let go of her then and reached for his beer. He picked it up and took a drink, then looked at her.

“So we got that out of our systems then.”

Kate stared at him, her body still buzzing where he’d touched her. She looked at her own glass, then picked it up. It was still cold, and had a soft froth of white across the top. She took a big gulp, then sputtered.

“Easy there, cowgirl!” Jonah grabbed the glass out of her hand while Kate coughed and gasped.

When her eyes stopped watering, she looked at him. “That was—not good.”

“You’re supposed to sip craft beer,” he said. “Not gulp like it’s water. Try again.”

He put the glass back in her hand, and Kate thought about resisting. But she tasted hints of graham cracker and nutmeg and allspice, and wasn’t sure if that was the beer or the kiss. Either way, she wanted more.

She wrapped her fingers around the glass and lifted it to her mouth. This time, she took a moment to breathe it in.

“It smells really good,” she admitted. “Like pie and cream soda.”

“Olfactory senses are really important when it comes to tasting beer,” he said. “Well, tasting anything, really, but we’re talking about beer here.”

Kate sniffed again. It really was nice. “I don’t think I’ve ever sniffed any drink that wasn’t wine.”

“Then you’ve been missing out. There’s a lot of sensory response that takes place in the zone where smell and taste meet.”

Kate laughed and sniffed again. “Wow. And to think I assumed you just chugged it at a tailgate party.”

“Please.” He meant it as a scoff, but Kate heard it as a plea and felt longing drip through her like spilled beer.

She tilted the glass and took a tentative sip. Not bad. Not bad at all. She swallowed and sipped again.

“Take your time,” Jonah said. “Experiment with different ways of moving it over your tongue and swallowing.”

Kate laughed. “I can’t believe you’re instructing me like I’ve never consumed liquid before.”

“Not this kind of liquid,” he said. “Different parts of the tongue taste different things—salty, sweet, sour, bitter, umami. You could spend hours experiencing the flavors in totally different ways.”

Kate took one more sip and set the glass down. She’d barely made a dent in the contents of it, but she felt an odd sense of accomplishment. “That wasn’t bad at all. It was actually kind of nice.”

Jonah smiled at her. “That’s what I like about you.” He said it like he was just realizing something important.

“What do you mean?”

“On the surface you seem like someone who’d be set in her ways,” he said. “Someone who wouldn’t want to try new things. But you’re actually one of the most experimental people I’ve met.”

Kate felt a warmth in her belly that might have been the beer, but she didn’t think so. “That might be one of the nicest things anyone’s ever said to me.”

It was true. So much better than if he’d told her she had beautiful eyes or nice hair. What was it about being seen by someone—really seen—that felt like such a gift?

She picked up her glass again and took another swallow. Something about it reminded her of when her father used to pick her up from school and take her out for a butterscotch malt. The faint nuttiness, the cool sweetness on the back of her tongue.

She closed her eyes and took another sip, breathing in notes of creamy caramel and maybe cinnamon buns. Balancing the glass on her knee, she swallowed and felt the bubbles tickle her throat on the way down.

Her eyes were still closed when she felt his lips brush hers again.

This time, the kiss was soft. She didn’t open her eyes. Just slid her free hand into his hair and kissed him back, savoring the taste of cloves and cinnamon and something forbidden.

When she opened her eyes, his amber-green ones locked with hers. He hadn’t drawn back yet, but his expression held a hint of finality.

“I had to do that,” he murmured. “Just one last time.”

“I’m glad.”