Page 38 of As They Are (Strawberry Springs #2)

Which others don’t care enough to do. “That’s not the issue here. I’m not mad at you for making me look at you. I’m not mad at all. I’m just ... having a difficult time.”

“Was it Mom?” he asked. “Me?”

“No, nothing like that. I’m just trying to keep our boundaries in place. Even when I have ... questions.”

“Questions about what?”

“Norah.” I said it lowly. “But you’re saying that we shouldn’t get too close, and I wanna respect that. I’m having a hard time with curiosity.”

And wondering if I was enough.

“You can ask whatever you want,” he said. “You don’t have to make yourself miserable to make me comfortable.”

I fiddled with the corner of the blanket. “Do you still have feelings for her?”

He answered it immediately. “No. I’m not sure if I ever did, to be honest. She was a part of the group, and at the time, Ace was dating around. I think she chose me because I was around more. But in the end, she wanted him. I think she always did.”

“So, she broke it off with you and got with him?”

“It didn’t go exactly like that,” he said with a sigh.

“I made mistakes. A lot of them. I didn’t know my limits then.

I felt different from others, but didn’t know why or what to do about it.

And I went along with Ace a lot of the time.

I wound up in a lot of situations I couldn’t handle.

So, I’d get overwhelmed. Then I’d get angry. ”

“Like the day when you snapped at Jude?”

“Worse. I’d go to a club and lose it. Or be in a crowded mall and go off on a person who pushed me. I’m not proud of it, but I learned to control it. Unfortunately, I learned all of that when it was too late. They’d been pushed away by my actions. Toward each other.”

“They didn’t try to understand why?” I asked.

“I was being a jerk.”

“The only time you’re anything close to a jerk is when you’re overwhelmed. Unless you’ve completely changed your personality, you’re not always upset. There’s a pattern.”

He shook his head. “No, but we were all kids. I don’t blame them. I just wish I’d been better.”

“You didn’t know either. And your mom is sweet, but she’s not exactly an expert.”

“No. I suppose not.” He let out a sigh. “But they’re happy together, and I realized that I couldn’t do things long-term. Not with the snapping. The need to have quiet time. It’s a lot.”

“It’s not. At least not for me.”

“You’re the exception,” he said. “But not everyone is like you. When I moved to Strawberry Springs, I told myself I wouldn’t let it happen again.

I would be kind and put together. No one would ever see what I showed Ace and Norah.

It’s one of my worst fears, actually. To find a home somewhere and then mess it up. ”

“Oh.” I thought about the day in the square when he’d gotten mad. That must have been terrifying—that he’d slipped up and people saw. So far, I didn’t think they did, or at least I hadn’t heard that they had.

I didn’t know the people of the town as well as Mollie did. I didn’t know how they reacted to things like this, but I could relate to the fear of losing others. Almost too well.

“We’ll make sure you’re taken care of,” I said. “So all the construction doesn’t bother you.”

He smiled and looked over at me. “You’re incredible, you know. I’ll miss you when you leave.”

That was the issue, wasn’t it? I was leaving.

And I had to. The jobs were in Nashville. That was where I could keep on fixing things.

What was I without that?

“I’m sorry,” I said.

“Don’t be. We’ll see each other again.”

“As friends, though.”

He nodded. “As friends.”

I was crushed by this. My heart ached in ways I didn’t know it could.

“I should sleep on the floor,” I said.

“I don’t want you to.”

“But the rules?—”

“Don’t friends share beds at sleepovers?”

“They do.” But I wasn’t thinking of him as a friend . Not after this. I wanted it all with him. The sex. His life.

But I had to go back to Nashville, and I would never ask him to follow me. Not when he loved Strawberry Springs so much.

“We’ll figure out the rest later.”

“ You’re the one suggesting we just figure it out?”

“I can be flexible.” His hand brushed my cheek. “When it comes to you.”

I should have said no. I didn’t need to make this worse.

But I wanted him. In all the ways.

I climbed onto the mattress, finding it softer than I was used to. Our shared weight made it to where we were both in the center of the bed, arms pressed against one another.

“Does your mom believe in firm furniture?”

“Nope,” he said. “I try to tell her it’s terrible for her back, but she doesn’t listen.”

“It’s gonna be impossible to stay on our sides of the bed.”

“It’s a full-size bed. There aren’t sides.”

“All the more reason to sleep on the floor.”

A hand landed on my hip and squeezed. “Wren.” There it was. That warning.

“Fine.” I turned away before I could do anything stupid. “But don’t say I didn’t try.”

“You always try,” he said as he turned off the bedside lamp. “It’s what I like best about you.”

I lay awake in the darkness for a long time, and I was pretty sure that he did too.

All of my life, I slept alone. There was never someone else in the bed with me; I wasn’t used to sharing heat and warmth.

But I liked it. God , I loved it.

Henry’s breath evened out and I turned to him. Other than the hand on my hip, he hadn’t moved any closer. We were still close because of the bed, but I wanted more. I wanted to burrow into him. To make this moment last forever.

Instead, I rolled away and got all the distance I could. My heart ached, but this was for the best. I’d stay away and wake up on my side of the bed.

Or at least that was what I told myself.