Page 41 of As It Was (Strawberry Springs #1)

CAIN

Strawberry Springs Neighborhood Watch

Henry Connor

It’s sickness season! Wash your hands and stay safe.

Comments:

Nicole Rudder : I am not ready.

Kerry Winsor : Please tell me there’s been an uptick in hand washing since your last post.

Henry Connor : Eh, stay away from handshakes for the time being.

Kerry Winsor : What is with the people in this town?

After Henry left, I stared at the door, trying to make sense of what had just happened.

I didn’t know how to process what went down. All I knew was that my body was buzzing, begging me to go lay down with Eric to make sure that he was okay.

But I also didn’t want to leave the woman next to me .

“I’m gonna go check to see if we have yogurt and rice for when Eric’s feeling better,” she said. “And you should go be with him.”

“You’re not upset?”

She rolled her eyes. “Why would I be upset that you wanna be with Eric? I’m not that selfish.”

“I didn’t think you were. It’s just ... after everything?—”

“He’s sick. And he needs you. That’s all I need to know.”

“Thank you,” I said before I could forget. “For all of your help.”

“You’re thanking a lot of people tonight,” she replied. “How are you feeling?”

“Not as bad as one would think. I do owe you and Henry, so it’s easy.”

“And to think, you could have had a friend this whole time.”

“I didn’t think ... I don’t know.”

“What if ...” She bit her lip while she considered her words. “What if you have it wrong? What if the town does care about you?”

I thought about it. I almost wanted her to be right, but there were signs to the contrary.

Nicole’s words when Mollie first got here, telling me that I should make sure nothing affected Eric.

What I’d heard Kerry say in the store.

What Brooke had said to Mollie in the bar.

The wounds were still there, and I honestly hoped that I could get enough letters without any of those people knowing. Without most of the town knowing. Sure, there were people I’d formed tentative trust with, but there were others who didn’t deserve it.

“I think I got some people wrong,” I said. “But not all of them.”

“Who? ”

I opened my mouth, but heard Eric whine from his room. “I need to?—”

“Go,” she said. “Take care of him. We can talk about this some other time.”

That was all I needed to hear. I walked into the room and put my hand on Eric’s hot forehead. He leaned into me.

“It hurts, Dad.”

I froze at the words.

I would have been lying if I said I hadn’t thought about Eric calling me that, but it was under very different circumstances, before Waldren was ever in the picture.

Now that our future was in flux, I didn’t know what would come of this.

I wanted to be his dad in every way, which made me consider adoption.

My plans had been ruined by the fact that I needed a lawyer on retainer, and if Waldren somehow won this case and got custody, I had a feeling he wouldn’t take kindly to Eric calling me his dad.

But I wanted it. So, so badly.

“I know,” I eventually said. “I’m here.”

Eric burrowed against my chest, holding me as if I could float away at any second.

I tried not to think about what could happen if this case didn’t go my way, but as I sat in the dark room, holding the child I’d raised as my own, I knew I couldn’t lose him.

No matter what the cost was to my pride, he was staying with me.

And I would make sure it happened, even if I had to beg for it to the people who hated me.

Eric was better a few days later. I was sure he didn’t remember what he’d called me while he was half asleep, and I didn’t know if that made it easier or harder to make it through each day.

He knew I wasn’t his dad, but I wanted to hear him call me that.

Even if I shouldn’t.

I was focusing on who to ask next. Jackie was monitoring the Facebook group, but most people were asking about the sounds they heard in the night, not talking about my custody battle. I thought I was in the clear until she showed up at the house one day.

She wore that worried expression, biting her lip and shuffling her feet. I knew this wasn’t good news. I was on the way to milk the cows, but when I saw her, I decided it would have to wait.

“They know, don’t they?”

“Not about what you’re expecting. I was looking through some of the posts I missed while I’ve been busy, and I found this one from a few days ago.” She got her phone out and showed me. It started out fine. Grace had made a rare post saying Mollie and I were cute.

But then I got to Kerry’s and Nicole’s comments.

When I was done reading, my stomach sank in the same way it had when I’d heard Kerry talking about me in the grocery store.

“Well, at least I know who not to ask.” I handed the phone back to her. “Though his teacher would have been a helpful addition.”

“To say these kinds of things in a group that I’m a part of—” She shook her head. “They have no shame.”

They never had. It was why she’d never wanted me to talk about Donny in front of anyone.

“I’ll find other people. I have two already.”

“Three, including me. And Mollie.”

“Yeah,” I said. “I’ll make it work.”

Jackie rubbed my back. “Should we tell her? I don’t think she’s in the group. Maybe it’ll show her who not to trust.”

I thought about it. Mollie liked the townsfolk, and most of them liked her. The last thing I wanted to do was pop her bubble while she still had it.

“No,” I said. “I’m sure she’ll figure it out.”

Jackie narrowed her eyes. “You’re protecting her from it, aren’t you?”

“For a little while. She’ll see it eventually.”

“She might just return the favor.”

“I don’t need any protection.”

“That’s where you’re wrong.” Jackie gave me a smile. “One day you’ll see it.”

I didn’t know about that, but I shrugged. “Are you busy at the salon?”

“A little. I could help with the animals, though. To take the sting off what you just read.”

“I’m fine without help. I know this town. This isn’t news to me.”

“But it’s still not okay.”

“No, but it is what it is. I know who not to ask. Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have to take care of some spoiled cows before Mollie tries to again.”

“Is she not good with them?”

“No, she’s great with the animals. But she spends more time talking than working.”

Especially with Moosley. How she’d gotten that cow to like her, I’d never know.

Jackie offered to help one last time before I convinced her I was okay. When she drove off, I mentally filed away Nicole and Kerry as people who couldn’t help.

And now I had to figure out who remained.