Page 33 of As It Was (Strawberry Springs #1)

She told me she loved me before hanging up, and I let out a sigh of relief. That had gone better than most of our conversations before.

But then I’d remembered everything with Trevor, and my mood plummeted again.

I needed to tell Cain who he was and what he’d done. Embarrassment wasn’t enough of a reason to hide it. Besides, he’d told me everything about himself, even though he wasn’t proud of it.

It was time I did the same.

I went outside to find him, only to see his truck was gone. It wasn’t unusual for him to leave during the day to either drop off milk at the processing plants or to get more hay for the animals, but I still wondered if he was avoiding me.

When he finally came home, it was after school had let out, and Eric was in tow.

“Mollie!” Eric called when he walked in. “I got a book from school to read! It’s for the second-grade level!”

“What?” I said with a gasp. “That’s so amazing.”

“Can I read it to you? Please?”

I may have needed to talk to Cain, but I also wouldn’t ignore Eric when he wanted to spend time with me.

After he was done with his book, he wanted to go to his room to play with his toys, so I went to find Cain. I checked the back of the farm and then the front before I realized that the barn door was open.

“Hey, can we talk?” I asked.

“I think we did that earlier.” He was moving things around, taking tools and racking them on the wall.

“We did, but there’s more for me to say.” I took a breath, fighting against the feeling of heat in my cheeks. “Trevor was my fiancé. ”

Cain paused his work and slowly turned to me.

“What?”

“Yeah. Before I came here, I was different. A shell of myself, even. I think Trevor liked that, and he thought that if he bullied me enough, I would give in. I always did before.”

Cain only stared, and I didn’t know if I should stop or keep going.

But now the words were flowing, and I couldn’t stop them.

“Even the day I got here I was just ... what he wanted me to be. When I was a kid, I wasn’t like that.

And then I met him and it all changed. I didn’t know one person could break me down into someone I didn’t even recognize.

I didn’t know how to escape it until I got here.

I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. At first, I thought you’d hear that I could be pliant and want that version of me?—”

“I would never want that.” His voice was hard.

“I know that now,” I said. “Which is why even I was confused when I couldn’t tell you who Trevor was and why he offered so much money for this place. But I think I’m ... embarrassed. Mortified, even. Who you’ve seen is who I am. I feel like me now, and I look back and wonder how I even survived.”

My eyes were on my feet and heat had crept from my cheeks throughout my whole body despite the chill in the air. I had no idea what Cain was thinking. Or if he was still angry about earlier. I could only get the words out before I stopped myself.

“So, I’m sorry I didn’t tell you. It really wasn’t a trust thing, but a me thing. If you’re still mad, take all the time you need. I’ll be ready to talk when you are.”

It was time to make my great escape. I needed to hide out and try to get my racing heart in order. I had needed to tell him, but it was still so hard .

I was halfway across the barn before a hand clamped down on my wrist and I was pulled into a broad, warm chest.

“You have nothing to be embarrassed about, Mollie.” Cain’s arms wrapped around me, giving me solace I wasn’t sure I deserved. “Only he does.”

Now I was feeling emotions. Big emotions. Ones that swirled together and made my eyes water. “I should have left before it got that bad.”

His hold tightened. “Leaving is the hardest part. I know that for a fact. And you did it. Instead of being embarrassed that it happened, you can be proud that you’re free .”

I’d expected him to be annoyed I’d waited this long. I didn’t expect compassion , and somehow, his kind words made everything I felt even stronger.

“It wasn’t like it was that bad. I don’t know why I’m reacting like this.”

He pulled away and made me look him in the eye, a gentle hand on my chin.

“It may not have been that bad yet , but things escalate. They did for Jackie. It started with him slowly driving wedges between her and her friends. Then, he made sure she never had enough income to leave. And maybe he was just an asshole, but in the off chance he was planning something bigger, I’m glad you’re here instead. ”

“I know he blindsided you this morning, but I’m glad you saw him and not me. I don’t even know what I would say to him if I saw him in person.”

“Well, if I see him again, I’ll tell him he looks like a little rat, and no amount of fancy suits is gonna hide it.”

I laughed. “I might steal that.”

He stared at me, his hand now gently tracing my cheek. And I could feel how much he cared this time.

“Thank you. For understanding.”

“You’re welcome, but I need you to know one more thing. ”

“What is it?”

“I will never try to control you. Or take you from the people who care about you. I might not be liked. I may have made mistakes. But if I ever do a damn thing like he does, you can kick my ass.”

“With you ... I would. But I don’t think I’ll have to.” I wiped at my eyes, finally feeling like a human again after my meltdown. “Hopefully I don’t see him next week when I go to Nashville.”

“You’re going to Nashville?”

“My mom’s birthday. I’m mad at her for keeping the farm from me, but this is the longest I’ve gone without seeing her. I wanna go, but I have a feeling he’ll be there.” I shrugged. “I’ll avoid him the best I can. But honestly, I’m dreading it.”

“If he’s there, you don’t have to go.”

“I can’t keep pushing my parents away. I really miss them, and it’s her birthday. I’ll be fine.”

His jaw tightened, and I thought he would argue, but he let out a breath instead. “Okay,” he said. “But if he does anything ?—”

“I’ll leave.”

“Or you can kick his ass. Either way is fine with me.”

“I’ll have to make a plan.” I smiled at him before it faded as all the things that had happened today hit me again. “Are we okay?”

“We’re okay, Mollie.”

His confirmation made my whole body loosen. “Thank God. I think I exhausted myself worrying about it. I’m probably gonna need to sleep this off.”

I was halfway to the barn doors before he spoke. “One question, before you go?”

“Yeah?”

“What are you gonna do when you go back to Nashville? ”

When.

Not if.

I’d never hated a word more.

“I’m working on figuring that out.”

“When you do, will you let me know?”

I nodded. “I have a feeling you’ll be the first to know.”

We were interrupted by Eric calling for Cain to ask about dinner. It was late, and I stayed outside, hoping to work through all the emotions today had brought up.

I wound up on the porch, watching the sunset. Pinks, oranges, and purples painted a scene in the sky, and though I was sure I was missing dinner, I couldn’t find it in me to regret it.

The door squeaked open not long after I sat.

“Dinner’s ready,” Cain said.

“Oh, thank you. I’m gonna stay out here for a bit.” I gestured to the sky. He followed my hand and slowly nodded in understanding.

“All right, then.”

He went back inside, leaving me alone. I’d miss hanging out with him and Eric for dinner, but at least I’d get to see one of the most gorgeous sunsets I’d ever seen in my life.

Then the door opened again.

“It’s so pretty!” Eric said. He sat right next to me, a bowl of chili in his hand.

“Does Cain know you’re out here? I thought you ate at the ...” I trailed off when a bowl was handed to me, but it wasn’t from Eric.

It was from Cain.

I turned, jaw agape.

“Change of plans,” he said as he sat a few steps behind me. “We’re eating out here.”

“Why?” I asked .

“Because someone stubborn likes to.” He nodded at the sky. “Now why are you looking at me? I thought you loved sunsets.”

My cheeks were on fire as I looked back at the vibrant sky. It was hard not to look at the man who was breaking his own rule of eating at the table to make sure I could have dinner in front of the sunset. I’d never been with someone who forgave so quickly.

Cain’s leg brushed against my back.

“Thank you,” I said.

“Rule one of the house: We eat at the dining-room table, but it can only be broken by rule two, which is dinner together is more important than location.”

“I’m a part of the house now?”

“Duh,” Eric said as he took a massive bite.

I teared up again, but for an entirely different reason now.

The sunset didn’t last as long as I’d wanted it to, but we’d finished with our meal by the time the sky was turning navy blue. Cain grabbed our bowls before we went inside, and I watched as he washed dishes.

It was things like this that showed he cared. Cooking dinner. Cleaning up after himself and others. And it was one of the hottest things I’d ever seen.

“So, how do I con you into watching more of Renovating with Love ?”

“Mind putting the dishes up?”

“Not at all.”

We lapsed into an easy silence after we cleaned up from dinner. Eric went up to his room to play while we caught up on the few episodes that had dropped.

Eric was in and out of the living room, asking questions or simply wanting to see that we were still there. So I kept my distance, despite wanting to touch Cain again.

When we were finally caught up on the show, I texted Wren.

The show is so awesome! Finally caught up! And the chemistry is SO good.

Wren

Thankssss. It’s been a work in progress but I’m making it work. How are things? Are they perfect and magical yet?

Haha, no. Definitely not.

Are you okay?

Trevor came to the farm. Cain and I fought. Well, not really fought. More like he thought I betrayed him.

I fucking hate him.

Cain?

No, Trevor.

First off, if I catch Trevor, he’s dead meat. Second, I’m glad you worked it out with Cain. Sometimes I got the vibe you let stuff go with Trevor.

It’s easy to stand up for myself when it’s Cain.

Interesting. When are you two gonna be together?

Honestly? No idea. We did hook up, though.

WHAT? LEAD WITH THAT NEXT TIME, MOLLIE!!!