Page 195 of As Above, So Below

Nothing interesting catches my attention. It never has here.

All of my focus turns inward as a result.

Today is the first day in weeks I’ve left the confined darkness of my bedroom.

I’ve no desire to be seen or to see anyone.

I’ve never been this alone, neverfeltthis alone—my innate remains silent still, as if it’d never existed.

Another piece of me stolen.

And like all the other pieces, I don’t know why.

When Vaelyn came to visit, as he has numerous times over the last few weeks, he was surprised I asked him to bring me here.

I haven’t spoken to anyone since that night. Including Vaelyn.

The hells have been left a dangerous mess.

Archdemons seek to fill the vacuum created by Kassil’s death, Houses demand renewed contracts, and demons cry for me to ascend as the goddess of death.

I refuse.

I want nothing to do with the hells.

I’m as much a prisoner as the contracted souls Netharis has collected.

Why would anyone believeIwould be interested in ruling the hells?

My siblings, now led by Vaelyn, are doing their best to address the destruction and chaos I’ve sown.

I do not envy them.

I do not envy Vaelyn.

During his visits, I’d stare out my bedroom window while he spoke.

He gave me updates on the progression of re-establishing the hells.

Things I couldn’t care less about.

The hells be damned.

My mind wouldn’t stop replaying the last moments in the temple—I couldn’t stop seeing Ryc’s eyes.

The pain and fear continues to cause a gaping, dark hole in my chest.

And when I sleep, it grows.

Foolishly, selfishly, I tried to reach out to him through our bond—even though I had witnessed our bond break.

The severed link left me feeling hollow and incomplete.

I hate that I miss him as much as I do.

I hate it hurts as much as it does.

A hand touches my left arm, and my eyes finally focus on the terrain.