Page 13

A sher had been sitting at this table for well over an hour now. She’d ordered a glass of wine after her date was fifteen minutes late. She’d messaged through the app asking if everything was okay after that, and when she’d gotten no reply, she had texted Linden before she’d remembered that Linden had a date of her own and was probably already at either her place or her date’s, having sex. Asher was now on her second glass of wine and had nearly finished it. Feeling bad for the waiter, she’d ordered an appetizer, and her wine was expensive, so she didn’t think she was exactly wasting a table. She’d tip him well for the ten times he’d approached to see if she needed anything else with a fake smile plastered on his face.

She’d needed the second glass when she’d realized that she had indeed been stood up. Another message to the app had gone by without a response, and thinking about Linden being with someone else had driven her to order the most expensive glass of red on the menu. The seafood restaurant off of St. Ann and Royal she was currently at was one of her favorites, and through chatting with Cindy, she’d discovered that her date liked the restaurant, too. They’d arranged the date and the time. Asher had verified that at least five times, checking the app to see if she had missed something. Maybe Cindy had gotten the date wrong. Maybe Asher had. Her messages, which had been answered swiftly earlier that day, had since gone unanswered. She had given Cindy an hour. It was time she called it a night and gave up on this date.

“Can I please get my check?” she asked after waving the waiter down.

“Of course,” he replied.

“Actually, can you hold off on that for a minute?” the voice Asher knew well said.

Asher turned to see that Linden was standing behind her.

“Linden? What are you doing here?”

“Ma’am?” the waiter asked Asher.

“It’s okay. Can you give me a few minutes?”

“Sure,” he said, looking disappointed, probably because there were whole groups of people waiting on tables, and he would’ve gotten a much larger tip from them.

“Can I sit?” Linden asked.

“I was just leaving. She didn’t show up. I thought you were on a date.”

“I was,” she replied, taking the empty chair across from Asher. “Have you eaten?”

“I had the bruschetta.”

“That’s it?”

“I was waiting for my date,” she replied.

“Want to eat dinner with me?” Linden asked.

“Linden, you were on a date. Did you not eat?”

“It was a drinks thing.”

“So, you drank but came here after?”

“Something like that,” Linden said as she reached for Asher’s water glass and took a long drink.

“You just had sex, didn’t you?”

“No, I didn’t. I left.”

“Why? Did she say something? Do something? Not hot enough for you?”

“She was definitely hot enough,” Linden said as she set the glass back down. “Ash, you texted. I was worried.”

“You were worried about what?”

“That you were just sitting here, waiting for someone who might not show up. I wasn’t that far away, so I came.”

Asher smiled and said, “You gave up sex to come here and see me look pathetic?”

“You never look pathetic,” Linden replied with a kind smile. “And yes, I gave up a sure thing. But she wasn’t what I was looking for, anyway.”

“Sex is what you usually look for.”

“I usually hope for a little conversation first. She just wanted to get right to it. Can we eat? I’m starving.”

“Linden, I’m embarrassed. I’ve been sitting here forever. The waiters were probably taking bets about how long I’d wait before I gave up and are now probably assuming that you’re my date.”

“Let them play their silly games and make assumptions. Who cares?”

“Honestly, I’m not even that hungry anymore,” Asher said.

“That’s a lie,” Linden replied. “You hardly ate anything at lunch today because you were too busy making a presentation about wedding vendors to our friends. I saw you only eat a handful of those awful kale chips you insist are food. They’re not food, Asher. They’re terrible. Food is delicious.”

Asher laughed and said, “I want to go.”

“Okay. Then, we’ll grab sandwiches from Henry’s, and you’re getting one with extra everything that has fat and calories in it and nothing green. Understood?”

“I know you’re just trying to make me feel better about being stood up,” Asher said.

Linden waved over the waiter and pulled out her wallet.

“What are you doing?”

“Paying so that we can go,” Linden replied.

“You’re not paying for–”

“Here.” Linden handed the waiter a few bills. Then, she handed him one more. “This cover everything?”

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“Cool. We’re hitting the road. Have your table back.” She stood up and reached out her hand for Asher to take. “Ready?”

“I suppose I am,” Asher replied, standing up.

A few minutes later, they were on the sidewalk, headed toward Henry’s and his Po-Boys that everyone raved about. Asher had only had one, and it had been plain, to Henry’s dismay. It had been good, though, and if she were being honest, she could use something fatty right now and maybe something sweet after.

“Did you message her in the app?” Linden asked after they turned the corner.

“Twice. She hasn’t messaged me back.”

“Any idea what happened?”

“Nope,” she replied. “Messages were amiable.”

“Amiable?” Linden laughed. “Who says that?”

“I do,” Asher said with a smile. “She was the one who seemed so interested in meeting up tonight. Linden, do you think she walked in, saw me, and left?”

“What? No way,” Linden replied.

“She could have, though.”

“She saw your profile photos, and those are recent, Ash. It’s not like you posted something from when you were twenty-five, and you look a little older now or something.”

“I like how you said only a little older.”

“Yeah. That was good, huh?” Linden said.

Asher just smiled as they continued their walk across the street.

“Ash, she knew what you looked like. And if anything, you look better in person than in those pictures, which are also good, so if she did that, she’s an idiot.”

“Thank you. I needed that.”

“It could’ve been a hundred things. Maybe she got stuck at work or in traffic. Maybe she lost her phone or left it at the office or something.”

“Everything in the world is connected to the internet. She couldn’t find one computer or someone’s phone to borrow to tell me?”

“I guess that’s true,” Linden replied. “Maybe she died.”

“Linden!”

“What? Morbid, but it’s possible, right?”

“God, I hope not,” Asher said.

“Me too. But still, it’s the only legitimate reason I can think of for someone to stand you up.”

Asher pulled out her phone, wanting to check the messages again. She still didn’t have a reply from Cindy, so she started typing.

“Did she reply?” Linden asked.

“No. I’m worried now that you mentioned death. I’m just asking her to tell me that she’s okay; no harm, no foul about the standing me up thing.”

“Ash, you don’t–” Linden chuckled and took Asher’s phone. “You’re so cute. You don’t do that on apps like this.”

“Maybe she got sick or something and just fell asleep.”

“Well, her loss either way. Here.” Linden handed her back the phone.

“Left the restaurant after an hour. If you changed your mind about meeting up, you could’ve just told me,” Asher read out loud the message that Linden had typed.

“That’s better than what she deserves. I would’ve just blocked her,” Linden added.

“Should I do that?”

“Do you want to know what happened?”

“She hasn’t replied so far, so I doubt this message will make her reach back out.”

“Then, yeah, block her ass.”

Asher laughed again and then hit the block button. A pop-up message asked her if she was sure that she wanted to block this user. She selected yes. Another message asked if she wanted to report abusive or aggressive behavior. She selected no and locked her phone.

“So, any more prospects?” Linden asked.

Asher tucked her phone into her purse, sighed, and said, “Not really. A few women have messaged me. I’m honestly surprised by how many message requests I’ve gotten in just a couple of days.”

“Why?”

“I didn’t think I’d get any.”

“I repeat: why?” Linden looked over at her. “Ash, you are gorgeous and successful. Of course, women across all colors of the rainbow would want to message you.”

“I’m almost thirty-eight years old, single, and awkward on dates with women because I’ve never done this before. Well, woman . I’ve only had one date. But I’m sure my messages are awkward, too. This one woman messaged me while I was sitting at the table, asking me if I would be interested in chatting. It was this nice opening message that gave me a little info about her. I replied with, ‘Sure,’ and that was it – I said, ‘Sure,’ and hit send. I haven’t sent her anything else.”

Linden laughed and said, “Oh, Ash… How long ago was this?”

“Maybe twenty minutes.”

“Phone, please?”

“Why?”

“I’m going to reply for you.”

“No, it’s better this way. I think I’m done.”

“Done with her?”

“Done with it all.”

“What is it all ?”

“The app; trying to find women this way. Clearly, I’m not meant for it.”

“It’s been two days. You’re throwing in the towel already? You’re not a quitter.”

They stopped at the streetlight to wait for the signal to change.

“I don’t know. I think so. Maybe I’ll change my mind tomorrow, but I don’t think this is how I’m going to meet my soulmate, Linden.”

“I was unaware that you were looking for your soulmate, Ash. I thought you wanted to date and see how things went.”

“Well, I don’t want to date how you date, and I’d like to actually meet a woman I want to sleep with one day. I mean, what’s that like?”

“What’s what like? Sex with women?”

“Yes. You had a woman who was a sure thing today, and that happens a lot for you. How is it, sex with women? Let me know. I’ll just live vicariously, and then, if I meet one, great.”

Linden turned to her and replied, “Sex with women is different every time, just like it is with guys. You know that.”

“Yes. But you clearly like it. You do it all the time.”

“I do not.” Linden laughed a little. “I meet up with a few women a week, yes, but I don’t sleep with all of them.”

The streetlight signal changed, so they resumed walking.

“What’s your percentage?” Asher asked.

“Of sex to no sex?”

“Yeah.”

“Ash, come on…” Linden chuckled nervously as they walked across the street.

“No, I want to know.”

“It’s not like I keep track.”

“You have an actual app that tracks your chat history, right? I’m sure you can look through it and recall the nights you got laid and the ones where you didn’t.”

“Ash, stop.”

Asher arrived on the sidewalk and did just that; stopped. Linden stopped, too, and looked away from her.

“I knew for years that I was gay.”

“I know that,” Asher said, looking at her friend, concerned that she’d said something wrong now.

“Year and years, I held it in. I dated and slept with guys that I wasn’t even remotely attracted to.”

“Linden, I’m sorry if I said–”

“Everyone thinks I’m sleeping with a different woman every night. I’m not.”

“I know that. I’m–”

“You’re just now figuring out this amazing part of yourself, and I think that’s great. I fully support whatever you need to do. If you want to delete your profile and the app, do so. If you need me somewhere to try to help you meet women, I’m there. If you don’t want anything to do with women after tonight, fine.” Linden finally looked at her. “It’s not sex with women that I’m after, Asher. It never really was. I didn’t know who I was when this first started. I mean, as a lesbian. I didn’t know much beyond what I’d seen on TV and in movies before I came out, okay?”

“Okay. Yeah.”

“I also want to find someone, just like you do,” Linden added. “I just wanted to be ready for her when I did.”

“Ready?”

“Yes. Knowing who I am in all respects, including sex. I wanted to know what I want and how to give her what she wants. I’m learning that I don’t like certain kinds of dirty talk, for example, and that I’m starting to feel like sex with someone I don’t know isn’t what I’m looking for now. It’s been a process for me, multiple steps, and it hasn’t been easy.”

“I’m sorry if I said something that makes you think I’m not supportive of whatever you need, Linden.”

“It’s fine. It’s not your fault. Tonight was just a weird night.”

“You know you didn’t have to come and rescue me, right? I would have gotten the check and been fine.”

Linden smiled at her and said, “I wanted to come and get you, okay? I wasn’t feeling my date, anyway. But even if I had, I still would’ve come if you needed me. Now, let’s get a sloppy sandwich with a ton of remoulade. You’re getting kettle chips, too.”

“I don’t want kettle chips,” Asher replied.

Linden took her hand and pulled her along.

“Then, you can watch me eat the ones I get for you, but you’re eating the whole sloppy sandwich, Asher.”

“Can we get beignets after?”

Linden stopped and turned back to her.

“ You want beignets?”

“I want something sweet. I know… Just go with it. Let’s be like the tourists.”

“We’re getting four orders, then.”

“What? That’s way too much.”

“It’s three per order. I’m eating at least one order. So are you. We can take the rest home, if you want. I’m thinking, an old movie night at your place with beignets and coffee.”

“I’m making the coffee at home.”

“Yes, we all know how much you love that expensive Kona blend. Stop bragging about it already,” Linden said, and she pulled her along again until they were walking side by side, still holding hands, though their fingers weren’t entwined.