Page 38 of Anything for You (Veterans of Silver Ridge #7)

CHAPTER THIRTY-EIGHT

Dove

D orian knocked at two that afternoon.

I’d expected something far later. His arriving within a few hours of my leaving his house seemed like a good sign.

Right?

Probably?

I hoped so.

“Come in. Did you bring Bear?” I asked, looking for his best boy.

He raised a brow. “Would you still want me if I didn’t?”

I gave him an unamused look, though didn’t quite manage to look him in the eye.

Was I a coward? Sure. The title fit right now, and I wouldn’t deny it.

I was scared to see if he had already decided we shouldn’t be together, or that he wasn’t ready, or that he didn’t really want to give it a try. And I wouldn’t blame him for any of it.

But I was still scared to see the answer, so I didn’t let myself. I just told him the truth to his answer. “Yes.”

He didn’t realize it now, but it really was that simple. I wanted him. With or without nightmares. With or without his adorable dog. With or without his baking skills, his military past, his insert whatever issues here , I wanted him.

So yeah. I was in a bad way here.

“Let me get us some waters. Have a seat on the couch.” Was I being weird? I didn’t know.

I’d done a remarkable amount of pacing around this lovely little cabin and I was no closer to knowing how things would go than miles ago when I’d started.

But he was here, and I needed something to do with my hands while my pulse rate settled, so I poured two glasses of water, then dumped a bunch of bagged popcorn into a bowl.

After setting one glass in front of Dorian, I placed the bowl and my own water down. “My hospitality skills are a little lacking compared to yours. I’m sorry.”

Meeting his eyes again felt like a cardioversion. Someone should’ve yelled “clear!” before our gazes locked and every shuddering hope and dream I had for the two of us whistled to the surface of my skin.

“You never need to apologize. Ever.”

Goodness, the veracity and intensity in his voice poured over me in a thrilling wave, but I laughed, too. “That’s nonsense. I’m sure at some point I will. Maybe not about my non-gourmet snacks, though.”

He slowly shook his head, and I rolled my eyes.

His large hands pressed together, and he stared them down for a few seconds before reconnecting with me. “I want to be with you in whatever way you’ll have me.”

My stomach swooped and dived, a bird on the wing of a breeze .

“I’ll have you all the ways,” I burst out before I could censor myself.

But good thing I didn’t, because his smile stretched into that full, devastating grin that could’ve signaled the sun to rise.

“All the ways, huh?”

His expression bordered on smug, which was saying something for this man. He simply didn’t broadcast that kind of energy, but he had a hint of it today.

It filled me with a nervous, thrilling thrum, and I popped up out of my seat on the couch, resuming my pacing since apparently that was what my body wanted to do to cope today.

“I think we should lay out our concerns. Obviously, this is very, very new. We kissed once. But we’re close…” I didn’t want to have to ask—didn’t want to finish the thought with, “ Aren’t we? ”

He didn’t make me.

“We are. I agree. It feels like a lot more than something casual or new.”

Goodness, he was steady and certain now. I wanted insight into why, what’d changed, what paths his mind had taken to get to this point so I could follow.

“So I think we should say them out loud. It’s not that it’ll keep anything from becoming an issue, but more like it helps us understand one another when things happen.”

Things like a quiet freak-out after an awful nightmare. Things like fear and worry after your dufus brother tries to make you join his cult.

If I waited much longer, this fizzing, brimming feeling would spill over and I’d lose my nerve, so I went for it.

“I’ll go first, okay? I’m scared that I’m too inexperienced for you.

I’m scared that my lack of a dating history is a turnoff, or even more so, that I won’t know how to be a good girlfriend to you.

I’m scared that I’m too weird, that my past is too weird, that my stupid brother and his drama is going to make you not want to bother with me. I’m scared I won’t?—”

He stood and cut me off halfway around the kitchen island, facing me and placing his hands on either side of the counter so I couldn’t pass without ducking under his arms.

“Say it,” he said, not touching me, but energy and presence so palpable it almost felt like he was.

I swallowed, huffed out a jumble of nerves, and said, “I’m scared I won’t be what you want physically. When the time comes. Since I’m, again, inexperienced.”

He knew, but he might not realize the severity of it.

Good grief, what I’d give to read his mind right now, but his expression gave nothing away. He just looked for another few seconds that felt like at least five minutes and then tipped his chin down.

“My turn?”

Heart hammering, I nodded.

“I’m scared I’m not good enough for you. I’m scared I’ll drag you down, or that I’ll end up struggling with my mental health again and be a burden to you. I’m scared that the quiet, simple life I want isn’t enough for you and that I want you too much.”

I stepped into his space, just a few inches away. He was gloriously tall and I had to tilt my chin to look at him, but I wanted to be close.

“I don’t know what’s ahead, but I know if we try, I promise to be honest. I will. And I know it’s easy to say those things won’t bother me, and in reality, they are hard. Complex. But I will tell you I’m not running, and there’s no way you could want me too much.”

His hands found my waist and he hoisted me up onto the counter, then stepped between my legs. The pine and cinnamon scent that clung to his shirt filled my space and I reached for him, locking my hands around his neck as he slid me to the edge of the counter, bodies locked together.

Holy wow, every inch of me was humming with awareness and need. I could hardly breathe, and I could absolutely not stand another second of waiting for whatever he might say.

“You don’t have to respond to mine, okay? I don’t?—”

His big, rough hand covered my mouth just like I’d done to him hours ago.

“My turn.”

I nodded.

“You ready?”

Another nod.

“You sure?”

My grin broke out, and he pulled his hand away but ran the pad of his thumb over my lower lip before he did.

Oh. My.

“I’m not worried about your inexperience, Dove, because I might be a quiet man, but I can be a greedy bastard and since the moment I saw you, I wanted you all to myself.

I’m no relationship guru either, so we’ll have a lot of learning to do.

I’m not worried about your ability to be a good girlfriend because you’re already an incredible friend and I’ve seen how you care for the people you value.

And honey…” His hand slipped from where it rested on my arm to slide into my hair and grip the back of my head.

“There is no part of me that has any doubt I will love every part of you, physically or otherwise.”

And then, ladies and gentlemen, I burst into flame.