Page 36 of Anyone But You

I ran back to the beach and started a fire. An hour later, the down feathers were scraped off; they were clean and roasting over an open flame on a skewer.

“Too bad we don’t have barbecue sauce.”

Knox

My stomach twisted in knots from the hunger I couldn’t quite find relief from. I curled into the fetal position and tried to think happy thoughts, but something kept pulling me out of my sleep. My nose twitched repeatedly, catching the scent of something delicious… like meat.

It’s just a dream. It has to be a dream.

“Knox! Wake up!” Victoria shouted. I jolted upright and nearly hit my head on our low ceiling.

“What’s the matter?” I asked, clearing the sleep from my voice as I left the hut. My mouth dropped when I realized where the smell was coming from. Saliva seeped out of my mouth and down my chin. I wiped away the trail on the back of my hand and slowly approached, praying this wasn’t a figment of my imagination. “Where did… what—”

“The birds took a fortunate tumble out of a tree,” Victoria responded gleefully—the happiest I’ve seen her since we crashed. I licked my lips and watched her divide our meal, which consisted of nuts and hatchlings. My brows furrowed when I counted how many she intended to give me. “I’m no Gordon Ramsay, and we don’t—Gordon.”

“Excuse me?”

“Gordon. Is that your middle name?”

“No.”

“As I was saying, I’m no Gordon Ramsay, but I stuffed the seaweed inside the bird, hoping it’ll give it a little razzle-dazzle,” she said, handing me an elephant ear with six chicks.

“I’m not taking that.”

It was her turn to look confused. “What do you mean you’re not taking it? Is it a moral dilemma or something? Their deaths were quick and painless.”

“Why did you give me so much?”

She squinted at me and shielded her darkened face from the sun with her hand. “Because you expend more calories than I do,” she said.

“I don’t give a shit. There are eight birds. There’s no reason why we can’t each have four.”

Victoria shook her head furiously. “You need more protein and calories than I do.”

“Vic—”

She jumped to her feet. “Stop fucking arguing with me and take the fucking food! Quit trying to be so fucking chivalrous and think about the big picture! You do more manual labor and expend more energy and calories than I do. This is about survival; I can’t make it any simpler than that. I’m a thick bitch, and I can afford to lose more weight, but pretty soon, you’re gonna be looking like Tom Hanks inCast Away!”

“It took him four years to get like that.”

“I don’t give a shit. I don’t care if it took four days, four months, or four years—at this rate, I’ll outlive you, and I don’t want that!” she yelled. Her chest heaved up and down from anger and frustration, and all I could do was stand there like a big oaf, struggling to find the words to say. “Just… take the food, and consider it a blessing because technically, our lunch should’ve been hermit crabs, fruit, and nuts. Don’t forget to give thanks,” she mumbled.

“Thank you,” I whispered, accepting the leaf. I sat on my log across from her and waited to dig in until she joined me. My instinct was to devour the hatchlings, but I savored them instead, unsure when I’d taste real meat again. My stomach was happy, but my soul wasn’t.

What did she mean when she said she didn’t want to outlive me?

“I think you’re better at this surviving thing than me,” I mentioned, hoping it would be enough to open the dialogue back up. I received a grunt as she chewed on an underdeveloped wing. “It’s very possible that you might outlive me. What happens then?”

She discarded the bones into a coconut bowl and motioned for me to do the same. She’d undoubtedly attempt to make stock or soup from them.

“It doesn’t matter what happens to me if you’re not here, now does it?”

“It matters to me, especially when you’re being so… so selfless. If, God forbid, something happened to me, I have no doubt that you’ll be capable of taking care of yourself.”

“It’s not about my capability, Knox. Physically, yes, I can take care of myself. Emotionally, no. I don’t want to do this alone. So, stop being such a dickhead and consider what’s best for both of us.”

I chuckled humorlessly. “I never thought I’d see the day when you’d desire to have me around.”