Page 53 of And Then There Was You

‘I’ve always respected you,’ I say, the effort to keep my tone light considerable.

‘You were good to me when I was married to Luke. Grant – or Guy, if that’s his name now – was the closest thing to a father I ever knew.

When Seth and I found his piano, I knew it was a sign.

I lost my mum years before she drank herself into a premature grave.

I need to find Grant to tell him he changed my life. I don’t want anything more than that.’

He doesn’t reply, but I see his jaw working.

‘We just need an address,’ Zanna says, softer than her last volley. ‘Even if he’s no longer there.’

‘He doesn’t want to be found,’ he says. ‘You need to let this go.’

Stunned, I watch him walk away.

Beside me, Zanna swears.

The laughter and light-hearted conversation of Mariner’s becomes a mocking, relentless backdrop to the dead end we’ve reached.

‘Come on,’ Zanna says, her arm clamping across my shoulders. ‘Let’s get you out of here.’

We don’t talk on the slow drive back, our progress hampered by an open-topped double-decker bus that appears to be stopping at every bus stop on the road into St Ives.

It’s only when Zanna’s ageing Fiesta has navigated the warren of narrow backstreets to reach the alley that leads to Star Court that she speaks.

‘I’m so sorry, Merryn. I should have double-checked my source before dragging you over there.’

‘You weren’t to know.’ I manage a brief smile.

She’s as gutted on my behalf as I feel. With so many people doing their utmost to obstruct my search, her allyship means the world.

I won’t have her feeling a failure because others have vested interests in keeping Grant and me apart. ‘Thanks, Zan. For everything.’

‘This isn’t over,’ she insists. ‘Let me talk to my editor. There has to be something else we can do to find Grant. I’ll call you as soon as I have more, okay?’

‘Okay. Thank you.’

I leave the car and wave her off. My heart is shattered as I turn and walk down the alleyway to Star Court, my hope in tatters.

I need to get back to Sweet Reverie. Ruthie and Murph have been holding the fort for me and they’ll need a break.

I need distraction, too, despite my body begging for rest.

Luke lied.

Graham too.

Grant – or Guy – doesn’t want to be found.

Each one an insult, an emotional blow that stings as if it were physical.

And Zach? Will he care when Zanna tells him we hit another roadblock, as she’s bound to do? Will it make him come back here?

Too many questions I can’t answer. All I know is, he isn’t here now.

I stare at the buildings in Star Court – Porthia Surf, Sweet Reverie and the Dydh Da deli, which is now advertising its grand opening in three weeks’ time.

This should be a happy place, the foundation of everything we’ve worked to build.

For most of the summer, I’ve believed magic can happen here.

The piano, the link to Grant, falling in love with Zach, believing that was enough. Now, I’m not sure of any of it.

A group of wetsuit-clad teens bursts out of Porthia Surf, catching my attention. Immediately, the anger I’ve pushed down all morning surges back, an unstoppable wave that engulfs me.

Seth caused the row that pushed Zach away.

Seth did his best to dissuade me from the search. Did he know where Grant was, like Luke did?

Hurt and fury, betrayal and loss power me straight into the shop.

I don’t recognise the young assistant behind the counter, his wide-eyed horror evident as I approach.

‘Seth’s out the back,’ he squeaks, as if he can tell by the way I’ve entered the shop that his boss is my chosen target.

‘Thanks,’ I bark as I aim for the stockroom.

Seth is hunched over an open box on the small folding table where he packs online orders, cellophane-wrapped T-shirts in piles around him.

‘Did you know?’

His head snaps upright. ‘Hang on, Mer . . .’

‘You said I shouldn’t look for Grant. Did you know where he was?’

‘No, bird, I swear.’

‘Zanna took me to Mariner’s. Grant was working there until yesterday. Luke knew. His uncle said Grant changed his name.’

‘I didn’t know. Did you find him?’

‘Graham wouldn’t tell us.’ Emotion balls in my throat, tears threatening to fall.

‘Maybe it’s best to let it go.’

‘How? How do I get past this?’

‘I’ll help you.’ He holds his arms out to me but I refuse to yield.

‘I don’t want you to.’

He stares at me. ‘Why?’

‘Because you never wanted me to look for Grant.’

‘I just didn’t want you to get hurt.’

‘But you knew what it meant to me. What I’ve been through. I never needed you to agree with me, Seth, just support me.’

‘I’m here now,’ he protests.

But I don’t want to hear it. I’m hurt and angry and overwhelmed by everything. ‘I need to be alone.’

‘Mer . . .’

I don’t wait for his reply.

I just walk out.

I’m done with everything. With Seth, with Zach, with Grant – or whatever he’s calling himself now. It’s time I put myself first.

In Star Court, I stop beside Sweet Reverie, the business I built from nothing, and love more than my heart can contain.

This is what matters now. I have the piano, which returned to me, and is now mine.

The carved heart beneath its cheek reminds me of who I was; its presence in the business I poured my heart into is proof of what’s possible. That has to be my focus.

And nothing else.