Page 44 of And Then There Was You

Thirty-Eight Zach

It’s when Merryn first catches a wave that emotion hits me.

I follow, a board’s length behind her, jumping up to my feet before I’ve even thought about it. My knee hates me but the instinct is there, as bright and immediate as it always was.

Instantly, I’m back at home on the board, salt on my lips and the breeze kissing my cheeks.

I thought I’d lost this when my career ended.

I’m painfully aware of the changes in my body from my pro-surf days – the thing I’d dreaded facing most – but the swell of joy from being back out among the waves overrides any sense of loss I might feel.

It’s beautiful. New. And I’m here because of her .

I watch Merryn slowly discovering how her body can move on the water, making all the slips and recalibrations I did when I first tried a board as a kid.

It’s like seeing myself as I was then, way before surfing became my entire life.

The frustration, the laughter, the glimpses of euphoria when something clicks.

It was those tiny snapshots of success that became intoxicating, dragging me out into the sea every time, determined to chase the joy.

When what you love becomes your identity, your career, and your reason to get out of bed, it’s easy to lose sight of what made you fall for it in the beginning. For years I went through the motions, pushing myself further, never settling for where I found myself.

This time, I have no expectations. The biggest barrier is gone – getting my body back in the waves – and for the first time in forever I let go and just feel . It’s a revelation.

We stay out for an hour, until Merryn is beginning to tire and my whole body aches. We tandem-ride one last wave to shore, Merryn shakily standing on her board for most of the way, and land back on the beach.

‘You did it!’ I yell, gathering her into my arms and kissing her sea-salt lips.

‘So did you!’ She smiles, her cold fingers brushing my hair from my face.

‘I couldn’t have done it without you.’ Emotion balls in my throat. ‘Thank you.’

Merryn folds herself into my body, her warmth meeting the coolness of our wetsuits. ‘You belong out there,’ she murmurs against me.

When she says it, I can believe it again.

‘And thus the Mighty Trev was restored to the waves!’ Jakey jogs out to greet us, high-fiving us both then grabbing me for a huge, back-slapping hug.

‘Loved it, mate,’ I manage, as he squeezes the air out of me.

‘So come back. Join us at the surf school. The kids will adore you.’

My stomach twists. ‘I don’t know.’

‘You should,’ Merryn agrees.

I love their faith in me, but I’m not there yet. I need to process the step I took today before I can think of what comes next. ‘Just give me time, yeah?’

Jakey is undeterred, chatting happily to us about the school as we return to the building.

Kids race past us, boards in tow, their bare feet slapping against wet sand as the waves beckon them.

I see their passion and joy and I want so much to be part of it.

But teaching? It was easy to help Merryn out there, knowing she had no prior experience and nothing to compare my instruction to, but would kids who’ve had the best teachers already see my flaws and limitations?

‘Tell him, Merryn,’ Jakey pleads, when we’re back beside the surf school building. ‘I reckon he’ll listen to you.’

‘Okay, Jakey.’ Her smile full of fun and mischief, she turns to me. ‘Zach.’

‘Yes.’

‘In the nicest possible way, get in the sea!’

‘Get in the sea! Classic!’ Jakey laughs. ‘Get in the sea! Get in the sea!’

Merryn joins in and I groan as the two of them start to dance around me. Other beach visitors look over and smile, an audience I hadn’t banked on witnessing my good-natured humiliation.

I feign embarrassment, but inside I’m buzzing.

I did it.

I got back out there.

And the beautiful woman giggling and dancing a circle in the sand around me is the reason.

I don’t know what the next step is, but with Merryn in my corner I’m not terrified to discover it.