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Chapter Nineteen

Anaki

W ith my arms crossed, I gripped my biceps. The pain throbbed when I let my claws pierce the skin in irritation.

“Fuck, you smell like fish,” Bear groaned. “Is that what your dragon smells like? No more cuddle piles for you.”

I curled my lip in a snarl and leaned in, catching a whiff of his scent. "You smell like a wet teddy bear dipped in sour honey," I remarked, scrunching my nose in distaste. I rolled my eyes, my gaze drifting longingly toward the door that held my mate inside.

“I don’t think I’ve ever seen you in such a mood.” Bear chuckled. “Not saying I blame you for it, I was the same before I claimed Nadia.”

Elena didn’t want me inside. I could see by the look on her face. I could read emotions fairly well; I swore there was a little empath in me. I didn’t fight her. I let her go with one of my most trusted friends, but it still stung.

Silent words were spoken between her and Abuela before we arrived. I didn’t know what they were, but it snapped something inside her that made me believe she wanted more information about… I wasn’t sure what.

I rubbed my hand down my face, my claws coming close to my eye. I winced when it scratched the corner of my brow .

Shit, this was going to be hard getting used to again.

“You both moved fast, too. That’s good. I smell her all over you.”

I lifted my lip into a smirk. “Yeah, we did. I was surprised myself. The physical part of us is not a problem, it’s the emotional part that is still rocky. I fucking love bombed her.” I pressed my thumb and forefinger into my eyes.

Bear was leaning up against the wall, and he tapped the back of his head against it. “Not following. What does that mean?”

“Told her she was mine, wasn’t letting her go. I was giving her my broken soul, and I’d do anything to keep her.”

Bear chuckled and pulled on his beard. “Well, I did that—”

“Then I cried.”

Bear gave a horrified look and backed away from me. “You… you cried? In front of her? Did she run away?”

I ran my fingers through my hair and shook my head. “No, she held me and we cuddled for a few hours, then we were going to go on a walk until I brought her here, because I thought she’d got sick. I thought things were fine, but she didn’t let me inside.”

Bear ran his hand down his face. “You fucking cried? Men don’t cry around their women. You let the women cry on you.” He wagged his finger at me.

Damnit, did she think of me as weak now? I couldn’t help all the emotion that swirled inside of me. All the pain that had settled there for years. I haven’t told anyone about it. Elena felt safe.

“What’s done is done. You know I’m not like the rest of you.

” I leaned my body on the door and tried to listen to the conversation inside.

Was eavesdropping on a private conversation bad?

Yes, and Nadia knew that. That didn’t stop Nadia from speaking in a normal tone, and Elena matched it.

Elena’s voice would stutter and come in hushed tones when she seemed upset.

Still, I couldn’t quite hear them. My hearing would come and go.

I wanted to break down the door.

Bear shuffled himself until his shoulder leaned against the wall so he could look at me. “That’s not what I meant. I just mean, fuck. You know how I am. I don’t like to talk all that mushy shit.”

“Man of action, little talk or thought. Yeah, I know who you are.” My smile widened. “Nadia likes the strong, silent type, but I’m going with my gut on this one. The goddess is trying to make it right. Give me a mate who would understand. I’m showing her all of me, even if it terrifies me.”

Bear hummed, his bear rumbling deep within his chest. “Proud of you.” was all he said, and that was all I needed to hear.

He put his large hand on my shoulder, and before I could really let the praise sink in, I heard a near-silent sob from my mate.

Sniffles, and then the salty tears invaded my nose.

I was done standing on the other side of the door.

My back straightened, and my hand landed on the doorknob. I shook it several times, but it wouldn’t open.

“They are in the middle of an exam. Nadia always locks the door,” Bear said as he tried to pull me back.

I growled, my lip pulled back showing my long, serrated teeth. Bear backed away, his hands in the air. “Fuck! Your face, man.” He stared at it with concern.

Not caring, I pushed the door in with my shoulder.

It didn’t budge at first because all the doors in this place were reinforced.

Locke had a thing for protection for those who needed it, and if anyone went rabid, we could temporarily lock them in their rooms, or members could lock themselves in their rooms.

My dragon didn’t like it .

I snarled, my voice turned into a low, feral growl, and I shoved forward with an urgent force.

My dragon compelled me to get inside quickly.

The possibilities that flashed through my mind were terrifying: was Elena injured, distraught, or had someone from the cartel managed to find us? Or worse, could it be Idris?

The mere thought sent a fresh surge of adrenaline coursing through my veins as I hurled myself against the door once more.

Bear stepped back, allowing the door to swing open with a creaking protest. Inside, Nadia stood motionless, her expression blank.

She knew that if she showed emotion, a shifter could become worse.

Meanwhile, Elena was on the far side of the bed, her body trembling like a leaf caught in a storm.

“Way to go, Anaki. You scared her,” Nadia said calmly.

My hearts thundered as I ran into the room. Elena screamed and threw her hands out to protect her head. “No, no! Please! I’ll stop crying!” I stopped and looked back and forth between the two of them.

Nadia stood slowly and put her hand on the bed. “Anaki, I need you to make slow movements now. It appears she has some PTSD.”

“What?” My voice rose higher.

“Post-traumatic stress. From her past with her ex. You barging in here while she was crying probably triggered it. I need you to back up. Bear, stay at the doorway, please.” Nadia’s hand reached out to signal him in a ‘stay’ position.

I found myself torn between retreating and moving closer to her.

I longed to ease her suffering, just as she had soothed me this morning.

Yet, what was it that haunted her so deeply that my breaking down the door only added to her distress?

I believed she would appreciate my concern, my desire to console her.

But instead, I inadvertently dredged up a painful memory, leaving her in turmoil.

Nadia carefully stood up from her seat and rounded the bed. She positioned herself closer to my mate. Her knees bent in a crouch; her posture deliberately submissive. Nadia’s movements were slow and deliberate, conveying a sense of caution.

Around the bed, Elena sat with her hand clamped tightly over her mouth, as if to stifle a cry.

She squeezed her eyes shut, and tears streamed down her cheeks in a steady flow, glistening like tiny rivers in the harsh light.

The room was heavy with tension, each breath and movement echoing in the silent space.

I let out a low, anguished whine that resonated through the air. My scales, glistening and iridescent, began to unfurl and cascade down my arms and across my torso like a shimmering waterfall. An unbearable itch spread through my limbs as they forcefully erupted through my skin.

Pain radiated down my spine. I gritted my teeth when I felt my dragon push himself from my mind to my body. I kept my physical pain silent and pushed the back of my jeans lower as I felt a horrible pain extend to my tailbone.

“Holy fucking shit,” Bear whispered. “You cannot shift here. How big do you fucking get?!”

Nadia darted her head to Bear’s voice. “I said calm!”

I ground my teeth together, a fierce growl rumbling in my throat.

“It’s impossible to stay calm when my mate is suffering!

” I could feel my tail forcing its way out of my body with a searing intensity.

Unlike a lizard's sturdy appendage, mine was sinuous and agile, resembling a serpent, though it never reached the full length of my true form.

“Please, love. It’s me,” I grated.

Elena panted, her sweat sprinkled on her brow.

“Look at me, Mama. Come on. It’s hurting me to stay away from you. Please let me touch you.”

I felt tiny scales gradually emerging across my face. My ears stretched and elongated, becoming sharp and pointed, resembling the tapered leaves of a willow tree.

Nadia was closer to her, and my dragon let out a low growl in her direction. In my periphery, I saw Bear move his arm for her to back away. She did so, thankfully, because I don’t know what my dragon would do seeing our mate in this state.

Elena’s eyes opened, and her hand reached for the sheets of the bed. She grabbed them and held tight to anchor herself.

“That’s it, love. It’s me. Keep your eyes on me, okay?” I kept my voice light and airy as I approached. She didn’t scream, but her eyes still watered. “I’m coming around the bed. I’m going to come closer.”

She hiccupped softly, her frail body slumped against the cold, unforgiving floor.

Her eyes, a mixture of fear and confusion, lingered on me, scanning up and down before she edged closer to the wall.

It tore at my heart to witness her retreating from me like that.

Every fiber of my being longed to embrace her, to shield her from harm, but the true battle raged within her, an internal storm from which I could offer no refuge.

Helplessness weighed heavily on me, knowing there was nothing I could do to quell the turmoil she faced.

“That’s it. There’s my love. I’m here. I’m going to pick you up now, okay?” I sat on the floor and scooped her up into my arms. Immediately, she wrapped her arms around my neck and buried her face into my chest. My tail wrapped around her as well.

Yes, this was right. So right.