Page 10

Chapter Eight

Anaki

A s I reached out to guide Elena towards the cabin, my hand brushed against the soft fabric of her dress.

“Anaki?” The deep, rumbled timbre of Bear's voice jolted me from my thoughts.

A mixture of surprise and irritation curled my lip into a snarl, but Bear remained steadfast on the porch, his presence unwavering.

Nadia swiftly motioned Elena inside, and left me cold in the doorway as she shut the door.

The deafening chorus of crickets and buzzing insects engulfed our surroundings, their relentless noise assaulted my healed ears. The noise was at an almost unbearable level. Between Bear and me, the silence was heavy, a thick fog suffocating any possibility of conversation.

The relationship we had with each other was brotherly, but our inner turmoil was left alone. We didn’t have deep-rooted talks about our pasts, as it hurt too much.

I had witnessed his past before my eyes; it tore him apart. I had felt his pain. In some ways, I felt I was partly an empath because of how deeply it had hurt me as I watched him suffer the bond break with his first mate.

He was a big, cuddly bear under all that meat, and I was glad he received Nadia, even if it was before me. He needed a mate quickly. Most mammal shifters did.

Why had I lived so long without dying or going crazy? I’m not sure why. Maybe it was because I…

I scoffed internally. Yeah, not going there.

Bear’s heavy footsteps in his silver-toed boots echoed across the porch. To others they would find it intimidating and downright frightening, making them piss their pants before he even reached halfway to them but not me.

I’ve never felt more comfortable with another man besides him, in my life.

Bear pulled me into his famous bear hugs, which were only meant for Nadia and me, and rubbed his big hand on top of my head.

My dragon scowled. He hadn’t had time to filter through our memories to even know this male, but he felt my comfort in my best friend’s presence, so he let it go.

“You doing alright?”

I shook my head on his chest. “No.”

I wasn’t.

Goddess, I wasn’t okay. While I knew Bear’s past, had saved him, and brought him with me to the Iron Fang, he didn’t know mine.

He never asked, not that he didn’t want to know.

He left me plenty of opportunities when we both had too much to drink, but even in a drunken stupor, I wouldn’t open my mouth.

“I’m scared.” I finally admitted. I backed away from him and leaned up against the railing.

“I’m not like you, Grim, or Hawke. Being big, bad, tough, that just isn’t who I am.

I’d rather sit back and laugh. I fight when I need to, protect the club when called, who I care for and love.

.. but I’m not some big, bad biker like the rest of you. ”

I was far from it. If anything, I was the joke of the bar. Not that I minded. I’d rather see the girls smile and the guys shake their heads to keep their minds off their pain.

“What if she rejects me, too?”

Bear let out a long sigh and stood beside me.

The crickets continued to sing, and the moon was far too bright for my mood.

I’d like to think it was the goddess telling me that brighter nights were coming my way, that I should be optimistic, but that darkness lurking inside, the hurt and betrayal, still felt like yesterday.

My dragon constantly moved inside me. His serpentine body rolled, curled in on himself. He was ready to strike, ready to lurch his body into any imposing enemy. He, too, could still feel the sting of rejection.

Bear huffed in annoyance. “You don’t let her. You don’t give her a choice.”

I turned to him, dumbfounded. “Is that what you did? Just told Nadia: ‘Hey, just so you know, you’re mine.’”

Bear shrugged his shoulders. “Basically.”

Of course, Bear would do that. He isn’t the most talkative person. Plus, he’s built like a massive tree. No one would say no to him.

“What I did learn was that the bond made Nadia very… receptive.” I turned to face Bear, who continued to stare up at the moon.

“While I didn’t know my first mate very well, didn’t talk to her.

.. with Nadia, I felt an overwhelming need to keep her near my bear and protect her in the state she was in.

While I healed her, she healed me. Just like every other couple that is coming together at the club.

Bear continued. “And you would have to be blind not to see that you have a hold on Elena already. She’s been compliant every time you touch her. The way you normally touch people. Simple gestures, not like the way the rest of us took our mates.”

That was an understatement. Every other male that had a mate had picked them up right away and had them in their arms within minutes. Hawke took a while because he was a stubborn ass, but once it finally clicked…

And Locke… once he had arms again, I’m sure he would do something with Emm.

I stared down at my hands and rubbed them together. I liked to touch Elena. Too much. I wasn’t lying when I said I was a cuddle slut. Touch was my damn love language. If I could hold her hand for the rest of my life, I would be one happy dragon.

But I wasn’t about to throw her over my shoulder and demand it. No, I wanted her to want me, too.

I cleared my throat. “She could be calm because of the bond. You know the goddess can put two people together, but they still have the choice to reject the bond. That is why we are in this situation.” I scratched the back of my neck. “She could get rid of me once I tell her…”

I stood up and walked away from Bear. I couldn’t tell him that now.

“Anaki, for fuck’s sake, spit it out. What the hell are you so worried about?

She already knows you are a dragon, that there are shifters.

You jumped the biggest damn hurdle of them all today.

She accepted all of it. All of this.” He waved his hand around us.

“She’s in our territory. She ain’t going anywhere.

And that bag of bones in there is okay with all of it! She knows shit!”

“I heard that!” The grandmother shouted from the inside.

Bear slapped his hand to his face.

“It’s not just that. I can’t do the dominance stuff like you can. I’m not very in charge like that. And—I just, I can’t tell you.” I pulled at my hair. “If I told you,” I pointed between us. “We’d never be the same. You wouldn’t look at me the same. You might—”

Would he think of me differently if he knew the mate that rejected me was a male?

The Elysian Realm heavily frowned upon same-sex relationships. People frowned upon it, much like in most areas on Earth; surprisingly, however, it was more accepted here than in Elysian.

With Bear being one of the more stoic males, the manliest of males, I feared I would lose him as a friend. Would he think of me differently?

Bear rubbed his hand down his beard and hummed.

“That right? You think, after all that we have been through, that would change what we have? I’m hurt.”

My mouth dropped. “No, no, that isn’t what I meant!”

Bear sighed, defeatedly. “You think, after the many years we have been together, that I would throw away everything we have because of something in your past? After you have rescued me? Helped my mate?”

I let out a pathetic whimper. “No, I just…”

“Anaki, are you attracted to males?” Bear murmured so no one could hear.

I blinked several times and rubbed my hand up and down my arm. Warmth filled behind my eyes, tears threatening to fall. Was it obvious? Was I that obvious that I would be into males? I appreciated the male body as I do with females. But, I’d only sleep with someone if I was bonded to them.

For obvious reasons.

Nothing worked down there anyway, not without a connection.

My mouth opened and closed several times.

I didn’t even hear Bear as he walked towards me in those heavy boots and put both hands on my shoulders.

“Anaki, Nadia and I had a feeling. In fact, I think some members think it is a possibility. Some might be in the same boat. Look at Tajah and Beretta? Why in this realm would you think I care? None of us do. If your mate rejected you because of that, that is on them, and I hope he’s dead. ”

He knew I might be like this? Yet he still let me stay in their nest and be with them?

I nodded. “He is very much dead.” I swallowed heavily. “So, movie nights are…?”

“Still on. Elena and Luis can even jump into the cuddle pile if they’re into it. That will be something you need to talk to her about, though.”

I cleared my throat. That was much easier than I expected, but it was still awkward. I didn’t find Bear attractive in that sort of way. Did I need to tell him that? Did he already know?

Bear growled and pushed on my shoulder. “You reek of anxiety. You think too much. How can you stand it?”

I let out a bark of laughter. “Sorry, I wanted nothing to change between us.”

“And it won’t, you skinny fucker. Just don’t think so hard. You’re still my best friend. I’d trust you with my life, and I’d better be one of the first people to see your dragon, or I’m gonna be pissed. Never seen a dragon before.”

I smiled. “Yeah, well. Not gonna get my hopes up yet. Elena has to accept all of me first.”

Bear narrowed his eyes. “She will. Don’t know why you are pessimistic about it. That is not the Anaki I know.”

“Careful, Bear, that’s a big word. Better not choke on it.”

Bear growled and leaned toward me to wrap his arms around me. I darted out of the way, laughing at him.

He huffed in annoyance and pulled down his cut. “You know Locke is coming by. He needs to know their scents. He’ll be in animal form, most likely.” He grabbed my upper arm and pulled me into a hug.

I could see my eyes glow against Bear’s chest. My dragon must have already known Locke, by just skimming briefly through our memories. The president, while a good leader and meant well, was an unhinged psychopath who had no control over his wolf.