Page 8

Chapter 8

The giant living room fireplace roared, breaking Rowan out of his thoughts. He rubbed his eyes looking at Ivy who was leaning on her broom with a cocked brow. “You didn’t hear a word I said, did you?” she asked.

“Sorry, I zoned out.” Rowan rested his elbows on his thighs, shaking his groggy head. “What did you say?”

“I was asking if you got any sleep last night. You look tired,” Ivy replied.

Rowan slapped on his patented “everything is fine” smile, knowing it wouldn’t penetrate his twin’s bond. “I drifted off eventually.”

It wasn’t a lie. He had fallen asleep last night. And the night before that too. Three full nights of sleep. Restless, horny sleep. It was a novelty for him. As reluctant as Rowan was to admit, it was the nest that soothed him to slumber. He’d grown to love it. The sparkly bits embedded in the branches twinkled like stars in the night, and the smell of pine was crisp and wonderful. Callum’s scent. It surrounded him, in his sheets, his pillow, and catching on his skin. More than once Rowan had touched himself to the thought of Callum sweaty and hot, thrusting inside him, wooing him with his body. Wooing. Who spoke like that? Callum, that’s who, like he was some old timey knight on a tall horse. Only the hooves were on the knight. And the knight was as tall as the horse. Okay, the knight was closely related to the horse in this scenario. Regardless, this was the second time Callum did something sweet and thoughtful, even if a little chaotic. And despite himself, Rowan was starting to enjoy the attention.

“Eventually, they’ll stop,” Ivy suddenly.

“Huh?” Rowan asked.

“The dirty dreams. The house is giving you them, isn’t it?”

“Oh…yeah,” Rowan crossed his legs before he started reminiscing about last night’s revere. “The dreams. You warned me about those.” Well, at least it wasn’t memories of the accident or the dagger-like grin of that shade. But visions of deep dickings didn’t create peaceful sleep, especially when he woke hard as a rock and alone in his bed. “Why the hell does your house do that?”

“Because they’re a perv and fancy themselves a matchmaker.” Ivy chuckled as she sprinkled her concoction of rose petals and thyme onto the floor. The powdered herbs shimmered when they touched down. “Sweet Brigid, I had them for weeks when I first moved in. Finn too.”

“Finn got them?” Rowan gulped when Ivy nodded. Oh Gods, that meant Callum was getting bombarded with erotic dreams too. Were they as feverish as his? Did he stroke his cock, whispering Rowan’s name when he’d come? Witch-boy, I’d wait an eternity for you.

Rowan scrubbed his face, trying to think unsexy thoughts, and failing. He would be a dirty liar if he said his heart didn’t do a backflip at the thought of Callum dreaming about them together. But that nagging little voice in the back of his mind kept whispering “You don’t deserve it”, scaring him back to reality. Sweet Hecate, you should be alone. After all that happened. After all you did. He pressed his palm to his talisman, desperate to shoo away that dreaded thought. But it only grew louder. Alone. You’re going to be alone forever. You deserve to be alone forever.

“Earth to Rowan,” Ivy called. “What’s going on with you?”

“Huh? Oh. Nothing. Just chilling.” He patted the couch’s arm rest, his smile starting to hurt. “Chillin’ like a Villain.”

“Liar.”

Rowan rolled his eyes. “Gods, why does everyone say that I’m lying?”

“Because you’re a horrible liar. You’re tense as hell. You’re tired all the time and you still won’t tell me why you really went on leave from your job.” With a flourish, she swept her powdered herbs out the door, the air feeling lighter as it carried all the gloomy energy with them. “I’ve been having to cleanse the house more because you’ve got some serious vibes rolling off you. You know what will help?”

Rowan smirked. “Cleaning with you?”

“Bingo.” Ivy held the broom out to him. “Just like when we were younger. House cleaning and exorcisms.”

“We were a one stop shop, weren’t we?” Rowan shoved himself to his feet, his leg giving an extra punch as he hobbled over. “Me crossing the veil to calm the spirits. You, screaming obscenities at them.”

“Hey, they deserved it sometimes.”

“I don’t know what was scarier, you or them.”

“And what was that dumbass name you gave us?” Ivy shook her head with a groan. “Oh yeah, Mopping and Spirit Walking.”

“That was the test name.” Rowan cleared his throat, announcing, “The proper name was Ghosts, Grout, and Glory.”

“You know, we could do it again. You’re here. I’m here. We can start the business back up clearing the cobwebs.” Ivy giggled, placing the broom in his hands. “But not the ones in your room. I’m sure Callum left some in your nest on purpose.” She held up a hand before Rowan could protest. “Aster told me about the sex tree. I know.”

Rowan pinched the bridge of his nose. “Gods dammit, Aster!”

Surprisingly, his brain wasn’t completely dismissing Ivy’s idea. Move back to Big Bear. Gods, that was tempting. Sure, the winters sucked for his leg but here was his family, his history. Here he wouldn’t be alone in a tiny apartment eating microwave dinners over the sink, or wearing himself thin on a career he was growing to hate. Hell, he didn’t even have a career anymore so what was stopping him? Maybe he’d finally open a business as a healer like he had always wanted. No. You owe it to Mom and Dad to keep helping the dead.

Ivy chewed on her lower lip. “You’re thinking about the accident, aren’t you?”

Rowan shuddered but waved it off. “I always think about Mom and Dad this time of year.”

“I think about them during Yule too. A lot,” she said. “I wonder about how things would be if they were here, if they saw how we grew up. I mean, we were just teenagers when they…” Ivy squeezed her eyes shut. When her sadness touched the back of his brain, Rowan flinched. Gods, this was his fault. His sisters grieved because of him. And here you think you deserve a blissful union with the lusty goat-lord? You fucking selfish dick.

“You can talk to me. You know I’ll understand.” His wave of shame made Ivy grip his hand tighter. “Ro?”

Rowan took a deep breath, giving her fingers a pat. “I’m fine. I promise.”

“Rowan…” Ivy narrowed her eyes.

“Look, I”ll make an appointment with a therapist when I get back home if things get worse.” When Ivy’s lips twisted with a skeptical smirk he threw in a quick laugh. “Remember what I always tell you? You can do hard things? Well, I can do hard things too. So, let”s talk about something happier. It”s Yule soon, we got Krampusnacht coming up-”

“And you have a huge satyr following you around like a puppy,” Ivy added.

Rowan signed. “When I said let’s change the subject, I didn’t mean that.”

“What, satyr dick isn’t a happier subject?” She chuckled, tangling one of her long fiery locks around her finger. “I know you’ve never been a relationship guy but you’re different around Callum. It”s like he lifts a weight off you. You’re happy.”

Rowan snorted trying to hide the blush creeping up his neck. “I’m no happier around him than any other hot guy with horns and hooves.”

“Oh please,” Ivy tapped her temple. “You think I can’t feel it? You’re crazy about him but fighting it and I have no idea why.”

“Because eventually I’ll have to go home, and I doubt Callum will want to come with me.”

“Rowan, this is your home.” Ivy spread her arms, gesturing to the spacious living room and all its creature comforts. “Here. With us. Not your crappy little apartment.”

“Hey! My apartment isn’t crappy!” He shrugged. “...It”s just sparsely decorated.” Because he never took the time to settle. He ‘d been a damn ghost haunting that lonely space since he moved to the Bay Area, and now, with no job, he had nothing to go back to. Do you really want that life? No, but he had to. It was his penance. He raked his hand through his hair. “This is your horny house in the woods, Ives. Not mine. I’ll only get in the way.”

Ivy shook her head. “There you go again, putting yourself last.”

“I’m not putting myself last I’m just-”

“Putting me, Aster, and probably Callum’s comfort and happiness before your own.” She interrupted. “You’ve always taken care of us Ro. You let Aster live with you rent free when she went to college. You ran our half-assed business when we were kids. Hell, I would’ve never lived through my powers fading without you.”

Rowan scoffed. “I’m your brother. It”s what I’m supposed to do.”

“Oh no. Don’t go all Saint Rowan of the Bennett Clan on me. You don’t have to sacrifice yourself for us anymore. You never did. We love you no matter what you do.” Ivy tapped his nose. “Maybe someday you’ll listen.” She kissed his cheek. “I better start dinner. Veggie lasagna tonight.”

She disappeared into the kitchen leaving Rowan alone. Alone with his thoughts. Fuck. Ivy was wrong. He did have to sacrifice himself. It”s what he owed them, what he owed his parents. And he’d do it over and over until the price was paid. Sharp barbs of grief wrapped around his heart, tightening with every beat. Relax, Ro. Ivy will feel you. He twisted his talisman around his neck, repeating the protective sigil carved in his dad’s handwriting. “You’re not alone. You’re not alone.”

That talisman. His most prized possession and his most grim reminder. Rowan’s mouth twitched as he remembered tearing through the gold wrapping paper, his silly six-year-old self expecting something more exciting. “A necklace?”

His parents had chuckled at his puzzled reaction. “It”s not just a necklace,” Dad had said. “It’s a talisman.” He lifted it from Rowan’s palms and tied it around his neck.

“What’s it for?” Rowan had asked, tracing the sigil with his tiny fingers.

“We know you get scared when you’re alone,” Mom had replied. “So, your dad made this very powerful spell for you.”

A thrill tickled his belly. “For me? Just for me?”

“Oh yes.” Dad knelt before him, wrapping his fist around the talisman. “Any time you feel afraid, you hold it tight, like this. And you say, ‘I’m not alone’. Your mom and I will hear you.”

“And you’ll come get me?” Rowan asked hopefully.

Dad pursed his lips. “There will be times when we can’t come to you, Rowan. But we’ll be there. And we’ll send something or someone to you.” Dad ruffled his hair. “This will keep you safe. So, wear it. Always.”

And it had kept him safe. It had kept him safe the afternoon their car ran off the road, but not his parents. Tears stung the back of Rowan’s eyes, their sharp tang crystalizing the images of the wreck. Screeching metal and the oily taste of smoke. Despite all the coping skills he had learned, all the mantras and tinctures, and years of therapy, that horrible memory was always there. Always fucking there.

Clacking echoed from the front porch. Rowan looked up to see Callum pacing in front of the window, his mouth tight with thought. The sight shook the sorrow away, pulling him toward the satyr. Safety. Sanctuary. Rowan darted out the door, boots catching the ice-covered porch. He slid past Callum hitting the railing with his belly and almost flipping over. Woah! Too eager! Too eager!

Callum snared the back of his shirt, pulling him back. “Easy, Witch-boy!”

“I’m good! Totally fine!” Rowan straightened, clinging to Callum arms before he slipped again. “Just getting some fresh air!”

“So desperate for a breath that you ran for it?” Callum lifted him off his feet and set him down on the welcome mat, so his boots could get traction.

“It was…stuffy?”

The satyr was clad only in his loincloth despite the snow fall. Gods, he was beautiful, frost glittering on his broad shoulders and dark horns, like amber in the light of the setting sun. Rowan wouldn’t look away. No, strike that. He couldn’t look away. He was hypnotized by all that corded, pulsing muscle.

There was no way Rowan would win this battle with his libido so he stared, taking in the puckered scars crisscrossing his chest, the hardness of his belly, the deep curves of his Adonis belt that disappeared under his loincloth.

“My eyes are up here, Witch-boy,” Callum said.

Rowan’s attention snapped up to Callum’s face, every inch of him burning with embarrassment. “Just impressed how you can be out here half naked.”

“I”m fair folk. The weather doesn’t affect us like it does you.” Callum thumped his chest. “To me this is just as mild as a spring morning.”

Rowan chuckled. “Hell, I wish I had that ability. Snow and I do not get along.”

“But you were raised on this mountain.” Callum tilted his head, his thick hair spilling down his shoulders. Rowan”s fingers itched to bury themselves in his thick locks, to pull Callum close and brush his mouth over his. “Shouldn’t you be used to it?”

“I guess.” he swallowed, pushing aside that idea for much, much later. Like, shower time later. He waved some jazz hands around to knock his discomfort aside. “But when someone wishes me a ‘Happy Winter,’ it always leaves me…Cold.” Callum groaned and Rowan gasped. “What?! You don’t like my winter pun? Dude, that’s cold!” Another groan only egged him on. “Here I am, trying to break the ice with you, but you keep giving me the cold shoulder-”

Callum shoved a hand over Rowan’s mouth. “Enough, with the cold jokes Witch-boy!” His stern glare melted and he released Rowan, an eager glimmer in his eyes. “Are you enjoying your nest?”

“I am.” Rowan laughed at Callum’s skeptical smirk. “I’m not humoring you this time. I like it. It”s relaxing.” Among other things. He fought the oncoming blush. “So, thanks.”

“I’m happy to do so, Witch-boy.” Callum bowed his head, slowly rubbing his palms together. “And it has been three days. Have you thought of my offer?”

Rowan bit his tongue before something stupid like “shut up and fuck me” came tumbling out. “Still don’t have an answer for you,” he said instead.

Callum ran his hand across Rowan’s jaw, the tips of his claws grazing his tingling skin. “You can still come to my wing tonight and give me your answer,” he purred.

Rowan swallowed. Oh yeah, he could come to Callum’s wing tonight. Come on over to give an answer. Then stay to come. His thigh throbbed, suddenly reminding him that he was balls deep in Winter instead of balls deep in satyr. “I should get inside. The snow is-” Callum swept him off his feet, the cold vanishing as he was cradled. “So, we’re back to princess carrying me again?”

It was like he was still basking beside the blazing fireplace. The intoxicating scent of pine and musk blanketed him. Oh no, this was better than inside. Far better.

“I’m keeping the chill away.” Callum pressed him close as he brushed the frost from the porch swing. The tiniest of grins twisted his mouth before they settled. “Don’t pretend that you don’t enjoy it.”

It was true. Rowan loved being whisked into Callum’s arms. Warm. Safe. Secure. Here was where all the crap swimming in his head faded. Winter? Bring it. Unemployment? Who cares? Muscle pain? Meh. Here was nothing but Callum, with his big strong arms and his comforting low voice. His own personal furnace.

“I will warm you however you like. With my arms...” Callum took Rowan’s chin, tilting his head back, voice filled with delicious promises. “My body and my mouth if you wish.”

Rowan’s knees almost buckled. “…Cool.” Cool?That’s all you can say?! The thumbs up he gave only punctuated the awkwardness. “This is…” So fucking hot that I’m going to pass out. “Nice.” And there came the second thumbs up.

“I believe you meant to say this is magnificent.” Callum twirled a wrist in the air. “Magnificent like me.”

The laugh snuck out of Rowan before he could pull it back. “Yeah, that too.” Callum’s laughter joined him. It was deep and rolling, and so rare that it took Rowan by surprise. “That’s the first time I’ve heard you laugh in a while.”

Callum snorted. “Impossible. I’ve laughed before.”

“Eh, not really. Snorted, sure. Smirked? All the time. And we won’t get started on the grumbling. I like it. You have a great laugh. Nice to see you switch gears for once.”

Callum wrinkled his nose. “I have no idea what switch gears means.”

“And I don’t want to explain it because it will take days.”

“And I’d rather you didn’t. You’ll waste time not basking in my splendor otherwise.” Callum”s tail flipped about, slapping against Rowan’s leg. “You’re too tense to bask, it seems.”

“Well, I have a lot on my mind. Aster’s health and Yule and my aunt’s Krampusnacht.” And the fact that I really shouldn’t be in your lap right now. Gods, what am I doing? Yet he didn’t move, unable to resist Callum’s pull.

“Are you helping with their festival?” Callum asked.

“I do every year. Auntie Rosie and Aunt Lia mostly put it together themselves but it’s a lot of work for only two people so I’m always on standby.” He chuckled, relaxing further. “You know, they thought about asking you to dress up as Krampus and come.” His laughter died as the color drained from Callum’s face. “Or…not.”

Callum looked to his hooves, tail slapping against the back of the swing with frantic thwaps. “What did you tell them?”

Rowan snatched his hands giving them a squeeze. “I told them no. Absolutely not. Unless…you do?” When Callum pursed his lips in thought, Rowan chose his words carefully. “It might be kind of fun. We could go together. I’ll keep you safe.”

Could I keep you safe? Hell, he couldn’t even keep his parents safe. Rowan watched Callum shrink back into the swing, lost in a storm of emotion. Gods, he was so haunted, so terrified. No. Not anymore. Rowan squared his shoulders. Yes, he would keep him safe. Come hell or high water, he wouldn’t leave Callum alone.

He took Callum’s face in his hands. “I mean it. I’ll stay by your side the whole time. You wouldn’t be alone. No one will touch you. I swear upon Hecate herself that I’d keep you safe.”

The fear left Callum’s eyes. His lips parted with words that never came before he turned away. “No.” Gently, he placed Rowan onto his feet, hooves clattering as he rose. “Your sentiments are welcomed. But no.”

Disappointment. That was definitely disappointment stabbing Rowan’s insides. There was a tiny part of him that wanted to hear a yes. To have Callum with him hand in hand, drinking, dancing, and enjoying the night together. Rowan offered a wan smile. “Oh yeah. I figured. I just wanted to share.”

“Indeed.” Callum’s tail lashed. “Have you gotten enough fresh air?”

“I’m good now.” Rowan snapped his fingers with a cheerful click of his tongue. “Thanks for the warmup, Big Guy.”

A small, sideways grin curled Callum’s scarred lips and he slipped back into the house, leaving Rowan to fall back against the porch rail, breathless.

“What the hell was that?” That was your cock, calling the shots, Rowan. And you liked it