Page 19

Chapter 19

Wraith?” The scowl that cracked Callum’s face made Rowan want to puke. “Are you telling me a wraith is feeding off you?”

Rowan shivered, the ice still clinging to his bones. Callum must have thought he was an idiot. Hell, he was an idiot, too stupid to see that a damn wraith had attached himself to him. “At first, I thought it was a shade. It was annoying like one.” The truth was ready to explode, banging against his insides until they ached. But he sealed his lips around it as Callum growled. “I’m so fucking stupid.”

“Stupid? You? Nonsense.” Callum snorted. “Wraiths are treacherous and manipulative. They can trick even the wizened of fair folk and make them prey. You are not stupid, Witch-boy, only lost in your torment. And the wraith took advantage.”

Rowan peeked up at him. The sour frown had disappeared, his expression soft and tender. He wants to be here. He wants to help. He swiped his face dry, a deep breath clearing a path for his words.

“It comes in my dreams, dredges up nightmares of the crash. Every time I woke up, I was drained.” Rowan sighed, unable to fight the shivers that consumed him. “I fell into a deep depression. I went with no sleep. I stopped crossing the veil because it would be waiting for me with those green eyes and its fucking pointy smile. Even then I should have known. I think I did know but I was so wrapped up with Ivy’s fade and Aster’s supposed murder that…”

“You couldn’t see beyond your grief.” Callum finished for him.

Rowan nodded. “Before I came back here, I did a ritual to banish it back to the veil. I thought it worked but when I moved to San Francisco, it came back… stronger.” A sad little laugh squeaked from his throat. I lost my job. Can’t be a veil walker if you don’t cross over so they let me go without a second thought. I dedicated myself to that fucking place and only got a “Don’t let the door hit your ass on the way out.” That made me even more depressed.”

Dammit, the tears were flowing again. He scrubbed his cheeks dry with an angry grunt. “I didn’t know what else to do. So, I came here.”

“All this time this has been happening and your sisters knew nothing about this?” Callum’s question was gentle and curious, but it twisted in Rowan’s gut all the same.

“No.” He sighed. “Ivy and Aster have had enough suffering. They don’t need mine too.”

“Why didn’t you return sooner?” Callum asked. “You had your family here. You were safe behind the wards.”

“I know, but after we hooked up I flipped out and ran.” Callum’s ears drooped and Rowan quickly added. “Not because of you. It was because of me. I wanted this—us—as much as you. Probably more. But…” Bile crept up his throat. He clutched his thigh as the cold inside him grew, his story spewing like vomit. “I didn’t want you in the crossfire of my drama. So, I left. I thought it was best. I thought you’d forget about me, or I’d forget about you but I didn’t, and the wraith got stronger and stronger and I don’t know what to do anymore!” He clutched Callum’s shoulders. “It said it can find a way past the wards! It made me dream that I killed you! What if I do kill you?!”

The gentle touch of Callum’s palm on his cheek, eased his terror. “I’m made of sterner stuff.”

Rowan shook his head so hard he was dizzy. “But what if-?!”

“Hush.” Callum tipped his chin and in an instant Rowan fell into his beautiful gaze of blue and gold. It was the mountain sky at sunrise, full of power and peace. “I want you to repeat after me. Callum an Ceann Is Géire. It means Callum the fiercest. And its yours.”

Rowan stilled. His name. Callum was giving him his full name. He shook his head as fear took its hold once more. “I can’t take that! I shouldn’t even be hearing it!”

“You’re not taking it. I’m giving it. My full name will give you what you need.” Callum kissed his forehead, a balm on his raw wounds. “If Ivy can use Finn’s name to bring him back to life, then you can use mine to protect me.”

“You trust me that much?”

“I give you this gift freely because I trust you with my heart, with my life.”

“Even when I’m this…fucking hot mess?”

“You are allowed to give me your burden when you can no longer bear the weight. I will shoulder the load for you.” Callum pressed his hand over Rowan’s talisman. “You’re not alone.” The sigil flashed as if agreeing with his vow.

Not alone. Rowan had said that so many times, had so many others tell him since he was a child. But coming from Callum, he finally believed it. Rowan could fall apart, could spiral into his emotions and his strong, brave satyr would always be there to catch him.

Rowan placed his hand over Callum’s the power from his talisman humming through them both.Heat returned to his fingertips, slowly spreading up his arms and right to his heart. Fuck it. He’s worth it. “Rowan Connell Bennett,” he said.

Callum chuckled. “This isn’t a game of evens.”

“No, but I want you to have my name.” Rowan took a deep breath and spoke his truth. “Because I love you.”

Callum’s astonished expression was almost laugh worthy. “You…love me? You truly love me?”

“I know, I know it’s super sudden. And it is! I’m a slow burn guy. It takes me months to warm up to anyone and even longer for me to even consider dating them. But you’re different. You’re everything I’ve ever wanted and I’m positive that I’m in love with you and have been since we met and…” His words got lost in his laughter. “And now I’m babbling like an idiot and looking completely insane because I want to be your mate!” Rowan rubbed the back of his neck as Callum continued to stare at him mouth half open in surprise. “I love you. I want to be with you.”

Callum leaned in, his horns pressing against Rowan’s forehead. “I love you too, my Rowan.”

Callum loved him back. His brave strong satyr loved him. He saw it in his eyes, felt it in every silly courtship ritual and heartfelt gesture. And blessed Hecate Rowan loved him back. He remembered when Ivy told him she had fallen for Finn and how he thought it was too fast for it to be real. But now he understood how it could happen and he didn’t want it any other way.

Callum kissed him until he forgot his own damned name. “Do you know the best way to defeat a wraith, Witch-boy?” he asked as he trailed ihs lips across Rowan’s jaw.

Rowan shrugged. “I don’t know, be in a good mood since they only eat grief?”

“Exactly.” Callum’s smile was breathtaking. “And I will make you so happy that the wretched creature will starve in mere hours.”

“You already make me happy, Cal. Like Disneyland happy.” He chuckled at Callum’s puzzled look. “I’ll explain that later, but you really do.” Callum gazed at him, like he’d had hung the very moon itself. And he’d probably find a way to fetch it if Rowan asked. Oh yeah, he was lost. He wrapped himself around Callum, as the last of the ice exploded into a blaze of passion. No more wraith or panic or guilt. There was only him and Callum, and their wonderful, delirious heat.

One day turned into another. Then another. Soon a week had passed, and Rowan hardly noticed after he’d quietly moved his things into Callum’s wing. Days were spent with his family, and the nights were reserved only for Callum.

The sex was amazing, that was for sure. Callum was insatiable and Rowan usually ended up passing out, sweat covered, sore, and trembling in bliss. But there were quiet evenings too. Ones where Rowan would bundle up tight for short walks in the snow with Broderick, Callum by his side. Or where they curled up in front of the fire, laughing about old stories. Just the two of them tucked away from the winter cold like the house had intended.

The embarrassment of being unemployable as a veil walker had gone long forgotten along what little life he had in San Francisco. He dusted out his old office that Ivy reserved for him upstairs and began plotting his healer business. And when one of the members of the witch authorities texted him to see if he was still alive, he answered that he was staying in Big Bear, indefinitely.

Indefinitely.

Rowan pursed his lips reading that word over and over. There was a time when typing out that word would have given him heart palpitations. He glanced over to Callum, who was chuckling with Finn, tail flip-flopping against the back of his velvety calves. Yeah, indefinitely. Rowan hit send and didn’t consider it again.

Soon Yule was upon them, and Finn brought in a sizeable chunk of wood to serve as their Yule log. Aster used her artistic skills to decorate it with treasures Callum had collected from the forest. She placed her masterpiece on the coffee table, a beautiful chaotic cluster of nature, tall white candles burning atop it.

Aster placed a slip of paper into everyone’s hands at dinner time. “Okay everyone, don’t forget to write your wishes down and tie them to the log. I don’t want anyone to miss out when we burn it.”

Callum tapped his pencil against his chin then glanced to Rowan. A tender smile puckered the scar on his lips. Rowan felt his cheeks flush as the satyr bent over his paper, scribbling furiously. He hadn’t said a word and yet said so much. He said exactly what Rowan felt in his heart. I’m not alone. And he wasn’t. He had Ivy and Aster. He had his aunts. And most of all, he had Callum. The wraith had all but disappeared. Good, he thought, curling next to Callum as they held each other in bed. Let the fucking things starve.