Page 18

Chapter 18

Rowan opened his eyes to a black haze. The taste of gasoline and smoke filled his mouth. His leg screamed in agony, the rest of him throbbing, blood rushing to his head to drip from the gash above his brow. He dangled upside down like a ragdoll, seat belt still holding him in place.

“It’s just a dream. It’s only a dream. Don’t look.” He held his breath, wanting to close his eyes again, knowing what he’d see if he turned. But like always, he turned. His parents weren’t there. Only Callum’s body hung beside him, bloodied, and torn, his mismatched eyes vacant of all life. Rowan covered his face. “No please! Not this! Don’t do this to me!”

“This is what will become of him, Rowan.” That voice. He hoped to never hear it again, but it was clear as day in his ears. A growl rumbled through the car wreckage dark and hoarse, like nails on a chalkboard. Rowan kept his hands pressed into his eye sockets. Don’t look. Don’t acknowledge it.

“Look at me, Rowan.”

Don’t look!

He could sense the glow of its green eyes through his lids, its stare hungry. “Look at me!”

Don’t look, don’t look, don’t look!

Boney fingers gripped Rowan’s chin and with a jerk his head was turned. Rowan’s heart stopped beating. His body turned to ice. No matter how hard he fought the urge, he opened his eyes.

Thin lips parted in a smile, teeth as long and sharp as daggers. “There you are my prize.”

A cold pit opened inside him, sucking away all sensation in his body as Rowan took a good long look. “You’re…you’re not just a shade, are you?”

It purred, stroking his cheek as if he were a precious pet. “You know what I am, Witch. You were just too frightened to admit it.”

He did know. Rowan knew exactly why it could eat his sadness, how it could visit his dreams, and empty every emotion inside him. But he was too busy ignoring it to see it. “A wraith…you’re not a shade you’re a Gods damned wraith!”

Its body billowed, a dark sail in the wind. “Thought you could be with another? You underestimate me.”

“You’re not supposed to stay with your host this long! Why won’t you move on!?”

“Because you’re special, my love. Can’t you see how much alike we are? Your pain so sweet and your sadness so pure and exquisite. I knew you were mine the moment I tasted you. And I will never let you go.”

Rowan jutted his chin. “You can’t keep me here. If you keep me in the dream realm, I’ll eventually die and then you’ll have nothing.”

“So be it.”

“But you’ll starve!”

It hissed, eyes narrowing. “If I can’t have you, no one will. Not your family. Not your damned goat. No one. As long as you sleep, I will always find you.”

Rowan unbuckled his seatbelt, falling out of his seat and hitting the roof of the car. The wind rushed from his lungs. But there was no time to recover. He pushed through the shock and crawled towards the shattered windshield for escape.

The world spun, the car tearing apart like paper. It vanished and Rowan tumbled into the void. The wraith swirled about him, its body flying open before catching him in its cloak of darkness. “You can’t leave me behind! You belong to me!”

Rowan had to run, had to get away, but it was like moving through mud, growing thicker, filling his mouth, his lungs, squeezing the very life from him. The darkness tightened, stopping his heart, and freezing his lungs.

Memories of his parents mangled corpses hanging from their seat belts flashed before him. The blood. The pain. His screams drowned out by the sound of sirens.

“See this? This is your fault, Rowan,” the wraith’s rust covered voice cooed as if soothing a child. “It”s all your fault. No one will ever love you. Save for me.”

Yes. It was right. This is how it would be for the rest of his days; alone, cold, with only his despair. Only his wraith. The fight left him and Rowan slumped, suspended only by the creature that cocooned him. The wraith pried his mouth open reaching inside and freezing his guts. The blood in his veins thickened and everything slowed.

“You’re mine, forever.”

***

Callum”s ears swiveled back, listening through his haze of sleep, arm draped over Rowan’s waist. He waited for the sound again. There it was. A strained whimper, muffled by clenched lips. He sat up, the mattress squeaking. Nothing looked out of place. Rowan’s room was exactly how it always was. But that sound was unnerving. Another whimper, this time right beside him. “Rowan?”

The witch was curled on his side, blankets kicked away in his sleep, leaving him naked and shivering. Callum gave his shoulder a shake. By the Gods, every inch of him was frozen as if he’d been standing in the snow. Quickly Callum tucked the blanket back over him. “Rowan, wake.”

But he didn’t. Rowan rolled onto his back, the whimpers turning to moans, muffled by his locked jaw. Callum cupped his face. “Wake up!”

Something flaked under his fingertips, stinging and cold. “What in the seven hells?” Ice coated his palms. Callum gaped in horror as frost crusted the hair on Rowan’s chest, spreading to his limbs in a glittering blue sheen..

“Wake up, Rowan!” Callum gave him a shake. Still no response. White fog flared from Rowan’s nostrils, his breath slowing. His chest stilled completely. Callum gathered him in his arms, surrounding him with his body, willing all his heat into him. “I command you to wake up, Witch-boy! Wake up now!”

Rowan’s horrible gasp for air shattered the ice sealing his lips. His eyes snapped open, and he shivered, wrapping his arms around himself. “What the fuck? What the fuck, what the fuck, what the fuck?!”

Callum cradled him in his lap. “Easy Rowan. I’m here.”

“Why is it so cold?” Rowan’s teeth chattered. “Am I covered in ice? Oh, sweet Hecate, why am I covered in ice?!”

“I don’t know.” Callum fought to keep his voice steady despite the crimson stain of fury haloing his vision. Someone had done this to Rowan. And if he got his claws on them, he would tear them asunder. You’ll be no use to him in your rage. Control yourself. He needs you. Callum stroked his hair and the red in his eyes faded. “I have you now. You’re safe.” Rowan slid out of his hold. Callum dumbly watched as he strode towards the door, one leg stiff and slightly dragging. “Where the hells are you going?”

“Taking a walk.”

“A walk?! Where?!”

Rowan stumbled, resting his hands on his knees as he bent in two. “I don’t know, around the house! It”s big enough! Walking clears my head!” His gaze darted from the window to the fireplace, then back to the window, pupils blown. He was shrouded in panic, shivering like a cornered animal as he pounded his fist into his thigh. “Fucking leg!”

Callum leapt out of bed. “You’re staying here.”

Rowan’s smile was manic as he continued to beat his thigh to a tender pulp. “Just a quick lap down the stairs and back! It”s…Gods, it”s cold in here, is it cold in here? Are you cold?” He looked to his clammy palms, tears filling his eyes.

“You”re naked, Rowan. And you’re frightened.” Callum caught Rowan’s elbow before he could punch his leg again. “What did you dream about?”

“I don’t even remember it now!” Rowan waved him off. “A lap for circulation is all I need! I just...I just need to get out of here! I need to…I don’t know what I need! Fuck!”

Callum held out his hands. “I’m going to touch you. Do I have your permission?” Rowan nodded, tears creeping down his cheeks. Callum hauled him over his shoulder, marching him back to his bed.

“No! Wait! I want to walk!”

“No walks.” Callum laid Rowan down, ready to tuck the blankets back over him but he fought, slapping them away. “Witch-boy, something horrible happened. Tell me.”

Rowan clutched his chest. “Oh shit, I can’t calm down! I can’t breathe! Am I having a panic attack?! Is this what it feels like?! Gods, how do you and Ivy handle this!?”

“Because you help us.” Callum caressed his cheek. “Your big heart and gentle words give us something to cling to.”

Rowan shook his head hard. “I’m not worth that praise! Not after…” He shoved Callum away. “Fuck! Stop this Cal! I don’t deserve this! I deserve to be alone!”

“You know that’s not true.”

“It is! I’ll hurt you if I’m with you! I didn’t do enough! I never have! Ivy and Aster almost died! My parents did die! I did everything in my power to protect them and it wasn’t enough! And if something happened to you…” The anguish in his words pierced his heart, twisting with each of his restrained sobs.

Callum untied the talisman around his neck, gently draping it around Rowan’s. “It’s your turn for the reminder,” he said, tying the leather cord. As soon as it touched Rowan’s skin it glowed its gentle blue.

Rowan stilled, a deep breath slowing his hysteria. He touched his talisman. “I’m sorry. I…” He flung his arms around Callum, squeezing as if he’d disappear. “I’d fall apart if I lost you, Cal. That would be it. I’d be done. There’d be nothing left of me. So… that’s why I have to be alone.”

“Rowan,” Callum rolled them on their sides, cradling him close. He carried so much pain in his gentle heart. No more. Callum was here now. He would help him shoulder this burden. “Is this what you dreamed of?” He nodded, sniffling loudly. “Do you want to tell me?”

“Yes but…” He bit his lower lip. “If I say it out loud, it could happen.”

“No, it won’t happen. I won’t let it.” Rowan’s mouth quivered. He pulled Callum down their foreheads touching. The silence was gentle now. Callum cocooned them in the blankets creating a refuge for them. “Do you want to talk or sleep now?”

“I...” Rowan sighed. “I want to tell you about the wraith.”