Page 11 of An Intimate Excerpt from the Diary of Our Lady

I sputtered out, my arousal cooled by my anger. I was so frustrated that I could feel it thrumming through my body. I tested my bonds, and they stretched to allow me to shift my position, though they wouldn't let my hands stray past my waist. I curled up on my side, blubbering and feeling quite sorry formyself.

But no—this was just as it should be. This was one of my lessons, likely something about denial, and so I curled up on my side, shocked at how tired I was. I yawned, realizing that I'd only ever felt tired from magical exertion before. In this case, I hadn't actuallydoneanything. Still, I drifted off quickly, into a blissful dream of tentacles writhing all over my body.

Chapter ten

IN WHICH A DEBRIEF LEADS TO AN ALTERNATE FORM OF REHABILITATION

WhenIwoke,Orcusheld me upright with a glass to my lips. I guzzled the cool water, surprised at my thirst. Muscles that I hadn't ever paid attention to ached, and I groaned as I stretched. My arms were still encircled by Orcus's bindings, though the one blocking my sight was gone.

"How do you feel?" he asked after lowering the glass.

"Sore," I said. "Confused."

"As it should be." Thick tendrils wrapped around my midsection and flipped me onto my stomach. After, they shifted and pressed intomy body, kneading at my sore muscles in the best hurt I'd ever felt.

"Thank you," I said, my voice muffled into the bed.

"You need to be ready for your next session," he said. "Now, I'll remind you of our need for vulnerability and honesty between us. How did you feel during your first session?"

I licked my lips to buy time. "Frustrated, helpless, needy... I wanted you to touch me, but you never quite did what I wanted."

"Very good. Was any of what you experienced painful or frightening?"

"No, I felt quite safe, if frustrated."

"Good. I didn't want you to feel scared. You see, it is impossible for you or I to ever truly know what it is like to be one of our subjects. However, we can make suppositions and sympathize based on our own experiences. I do not see the need for you to feel pain in our lessons. I am confident that you did not intend true pain or harm to any of your creations."

I shook my head violently. "Never, I just... didn't really understand."

"Just so. And we cannot expect anyone to know things without being taught, not even a goddess. I learned through my own experiences, and you will continue to learnthrough yours." He dug into a particularly troublesome knot, and I groaned.

"So, no, the goal of this is not for you to feel pain. It is for you to learn, to understand, and for me to do the same. If we can gain this understanding through pleasurable means, I think we will not lose anything in the process by doing so."

"Alright," I said. "I'm certainly not opposed, as long as you think it will be effective."

"I think it will be more than effective. I think it will be the single most important act either of us ever undertake."

His thick tentacle flipped me onto my back and began massaging my front. I much preferred this angle, because I could see his face. His brows were drawn in concentration, his tongue toying with one of his fangs. If the massage was meant to relax me, it only partially served its purpose. Instead, he drew pleasure from me as easily as a harpist would draw a melody. Desire flooded through me, dampening between my legs and spreading heat throughout my body.

"Does that feel good, princess?" he crooned.

"Mhmmm," I hummed. It felt better than good in truth. It felt magical—freeing in a way I'd neverexperienced.

"I think," he said, working his way up to massage my thighs. "That youlikebeing taken care of. I think you've spent so long holding an entire planet together that it's time someone held you together."

I doubt he had any real idea what such a statement would do to me. A riot of emotions burst to life inside of me, so chaotic and clamoring that I could scarcely identify them. I tensed under his hands.

It felt soright.

It felt like an attack.

It sounded wonderful.

It sounded vulnerable.

I didn't make a sound, but he must have known that it had done something to me, because he switched from deep massage to light circles.

My breath came fast and wracked my body, panic surging through my veins on the wings of adrenaline. I squeezed my eyes shut, perhaps in a feeble attempt to block out a small part of him. Orcus overwhelmed me. With his newly revealed face, his demanding hands, and his gentle voice that spoke words I was terrified to hear.