Page 31 of Always Mine
“I thought hearing those words would fill me with relief, but truthfully, it’s overwhelming. All my deepest fantasies about what it would be like to have you and be yours are coming true, and…” She looks up to the ceiling like she’s calling on a higher power, before looking down at her hands, and wringing her fingers nervously. “I’m petrified that once I unlock that Pandora’s box where I have hidden a decade worth of desires, feelings and emotions and share them all with you, I will be ruined for anyone else,” she whispers.
Unable to help myself, I gently graze her jaw with my knuckles, before curling them under her chin and tilting it up so the only place she can look is in my eyes. The windows to my soul. “That’s perfectly fine, because there won’t be anyone else.”
I press a kiss to her forehead, and she doesn’t pull away instantly, but when she does, I see the pain swirling in her pretty eyes. I know she’s still going to walk out that door, and I wonder if this is how she felt all those years ago. Karma is indeed a bitch.
“I need time. Time to process what you’re saying and how easily you can confess to all these big feelings which are stirring equally big feelings in me—ones I don’t know I am equipped to deal with right now. I went to Harvard because it’s what my dad wanted and what you insisted I do. I broke up with Aiden because you told me to,” she says tapping my chest with her pointer as she lets out a watery laugh. “Twenty-six years old and still taking orders and trying to please everyone else. I just need a minute,” she says again like she’s trying to convince herself she’s making the right decision. “I need to choose me first. Figure out what priorities matter to me and give this career I have worked so hard for a good shot. No distractions, especially not ones involving your dick.” She mutters that last bit more to herself than me while tapping on her phone.
When she lifts her head, I take the opportunity to gently cuff her neck and fix my gaze on hers. I desperately want to tell her why I did it. Why I broke my own heart and hers in the process all those years ago. But in this moment, I know all it will feel like is another manipulation in a long line of them.
“You want me to prove how I feel for you? That I listen when you talk?” I rasp, barely keeping my emotions in check. “Against my better judgement I’m going to let you walk out that door, not because I think it’s the right thing to do, but because you believe it’s what you need to do. But, just know this—I’m all the fucking way in.”
She sucks in a breath, like my words physically hurt, but she doesn’t sway in her decision. Instead, she wordlessly shrugs on her jacket and leaves. Alone. Through the very same door we walked out of hand-in-hand just last night.
It’s the third time she’s slipped through my fingertips, what we could have together right along with it. But the only way this works is if she chooses me with her entire mind, body and soul and believes we’re worth fighting for too. And when she does, there’s no fucking chance I’m letting her go.
Sophia:
SOS
Stella:
Tell me “the-tights-thief-who-shall-not-be-named” fucked your soul right out of you already.
Sophia:
That would’ve been far preferable to the soul-destroying dinner from hell.
Sophia:
On the plus-side I have a brand-spanking new pair of tights. But in an unfortunate turn of events, I’m taking a self-imposed time out from “the-tights-thief-who-shall-not-be-named.” He’s now on my “dicks to avoid” list.
Stella:
Oh that’s a shame. At the very least, you should take said dick for one ride before you add him to that list. At least for research purposes. Call itevidence!
Evie:
I don’t know how you have clients that take, you know, actual life advice from you. You give the worst advice.
Stella:
Okay, twice. Ride him twice. Then promptly put him on the “dicks to avoid” list.
Evie:
*Eye roll emoji* Sophia, ignore our woman-child friend. Just tell us what happened? I thought you were excited Marco was going to be there.
Sophia:
Oh he was there. In all his sexy, attentive, possessive glory. But my father also invited Arty.
Evie:
Oh God…
Stella:
Gotta love those surprise dinner guests. *devil emoji*