Page 3 of Alpha Wolf’s Nanny (Silvermist Wolves #2)

Cassie woke with a start, nearly bolting upright, a thin stream of warm light half-blinding her as she blinked her eyes open.

All at once, the memories came rushing back—the dark, smoky bar; the unbearably sexy man making his way through the crowd towards her, his dark blue eyes fixed on her, his expression hungry ; the conversation that lasted hours; the joking, the flirting, the light, teasing touches and coy smiles.

And then…and then…

Blood rushed to her cheeks, and she fought back a squeak as the rest of the night sharpened into focus. How they had gone back to his hotel room, how he had taken her in his arms, how they had…

Oh my god. Oh my GOD!

They had slept together. She had slept with him. She had…she had lost her virginity to him.

Suddenly, she was all too aware of the warm weight around her waist, the hard muscles of a chest pressed against her back. The slow, steady breaths of the man behind her. He was still here; he hadn’t left.

Cassie’s stomach swooped and fluttered, her lower belly aching with a not-unpleasant warmth.

She had lost her virginity to a random man she had met in a bar.

Her limbs were frozen in panic, unable to move.

She had lost her virginity.

Biting her lip, she considered pulling out of his grasp, finding her clothes, and getting the hell out of there.

Running away was, after all, a strong suit of hers.

Yes. She would quietly slip out, get dressed, and leave.

That was fine. People did that, right? They hooked up, and then they left. It was fine.

But just as she began to move, something stopped her. As she replayed the memories over and over again, she realized something.

She didn’t want to leave.

She was warm, comfortable, sated and happy. And she wanted to stay wrapped in his arms for just a moment longer.

It had been good. More than good. Excellent. She knew she was hardly the best judge, having never gone further than a few awkward fumblings, but she didn’t see how it could be better. He had been so gentle, but so commanding. Utterly in control. She hadn’t had to worry about a thing.

Her cheeks flaming with a sudden stab of embarrassment, she hoped he hadn’t realized how inexperienced she was.

He hadn’t given any indication that he had suspected, and she was hardly going to tell him.

She had considered it the night before, but she had been too caught up in the moment.

Too enthralled by what he was doing to her.

She didn’t want him to stop, didn’t want him to hesitate.

Quite against her will, a slow smile crept over her face, a warmth blooming in her chest. Whatever expectations she might have had for her first time, it was safe to say that Felix had well and truly surpassed them.

He shifted behind her, his breathing becoming lighter as he began to stir, and every muscle in her body froze.

Oh God, what now? Should she have left? Would he be angry that she was still there? Would he want to sleep with her again? She hadn’t brushed her teeth, and she was sure her hair looked like a mess! Maybe she should have gone to the bathroom, should have freshened up, should have—

“Good morning,” he said, his voice low and gruff with sleep.

“Morning,” she squeaked back, her limbs still refusing to obey her as he shifted and sat up to brush her hair out of her face and smile down at her.

“You alright?”

He was so handsome. Painfully handsome. His dark blond hair brushed the thick muscles of his shoulders, his blue eyes warm and inviting. And he was so big . Cassie was not a short woman, but she felt positively tiny compared to his massive frame.

At this rate, her cheeks were going to be permanently stained red.

“Y-yeah,” she said, gulping slightly.

His expression shifted, something like nervousness settling over his features. Well, as nervous as a man like Felix could ever look. “Are you sure?” he asked, pulling his hand back from her face, his eyebrows drawing together, “I hope that I didn’t push you, or—”

“What? No, no!” she said, scrambling to a seated position, pulling the sheets against her chest to hide her nudity. The drinks had made her confident last night, his touches silencing any anxious voice in her head, but in the cold light of day, she couldn’t imagine letting him see her.

“No,” she repeated, trying her best to give him a reassuring smile. “Last night was…amazing. Better than amazing. I just—” Here she paused, running a hand through her hair, the words catching at the back of her throat.

I’ve never had sex before.

“I don’t normally do this,” she said instead. There was no need to tell him. It was none of his business. It would only cause issues.

“One-night stands?” Felix said with a grin, stretching his arms out over his head. “If it helps, it’s only as awkward as you let it be. If you want to go, I’ll order you a cab.”

Something stabbed in her chest, something needy and sour. “Do you want me to leave?”

He looked at her in surprise. “Of course not, I was going to suggest breakfast. Or coffee, at least.”

She settled down, calming her panic. God, she felt like a child, stumbling around in something she had absolutely no experience with. Without alcohol and the blanket of night, all of her actions seemed magnified. Scrutinized. Awkward and fumbling.

“Hungover?” she asked, trying her best to sound teasing, but it just came out as accusatory. Mentally, she kicked herself.

If Felix noticed her crisis of confidence, he was kind enough not to mention it, throwing her a lazy wink. “I’m a shifter, remember? Would take a hell of a lot more alcohol to give me a headache. I don’t think I’ve been hungover since I was a teenager.”

“Lucky you,” Cassie replied. “I wasn’t even that drunk last night and my head feels all…fuzzy.”

He dropped a kiss on her forehead, his dark blue eyes warm. “The shower’s through there,” he murmured, “and the tub, if you’d prefer. I’ll order us some food.”

She smiled gratefully at the escape he’d offered her, rolling out of bed with the sheet still clutched to her chest, wrapping herself up like a burrito.

Felix watched her with barely concealed amusement, his arms behind his head as he leaned against the headboard, the sheet covering him so low on his hips that a fresh wave of heat pulsed over Cassie’s face.

Christ. He was like some sort of Greek god.

With decidedly less elegance than Felix’s easy, tiger-like grace, Cassie hopped over to the ensuite and slammed the door behind her, leaning up against the cool wood, closing her eyes and rubbing her temples.

What on earth had she gotten herself into?

It wasn’t like she hadn’t had offers before.

Of course, she had. She’d worked loads of jobs, met loads of people, and even been on a few dates here and there.

But she never stayed in the same place for longer than a couple of weeks, so nothing had ever gotten further than some drunken fumblings.

She hadn’t let it. A guy’s hand would drift lower, and her stomach would lurch, and she’d push him off her and run away.

She told herself it was just self-protection.

Her body’s way of telling her that it wasn’t what she really wanted.

But the thought of hands on her naked body, eyes raking over every inch of her, filled her with such indescribable dread that she carried the anxiety with her for days after any such interaction.

What if they thought her clothes were ratty?

Her body too skinny and bony? It’s what people had been telling her for most of her life, so there had to be some element of truth in it.

And that was fine. She had made her peace with it.

Her body worked as it should, letting her run and jump and climb, and that was all it needed to do.

The rest was just…window dressing. Pretty packaging that she didn’t need. It was fine.

But then a boy would kiss her and tell her she was pretty and push his hips against her, and she would feel sick to her stomach.

And so, she was still a virgin. Well, she had been, until last night.

Because she hadn’t felt any of that with Felix.

Perhaps it was the fact that he was slightly older, in his late twenties.

A man, as opposed to a boy. He treated her with respect, talked to her like she was a person, checked in with her, and gave her every opportunity to say no without any guilt.

But somehow, it went deeper than that. She felt genuinely at ease with him.

She knew he wanted her; she wasn’t stupid, but his interest in her was real.

It allowed her to let her guard down. And so, when he had touched her, she had felt nothing but excitement.

It scared her. But it also thrilled her. And she realized, with a start, that she wanted more.

She spent the time in the shower hyping herself up as she lathered her hair with shampoo and her body with some sort of lotion that smelled like fizzy champagne.

She would ask him if he wanted to see her again.

Maybe dinner. Maybe the cinema. A walk, a hike, anything .

Last night, he had told her all about the woods near his home—he seemed to love them. Maybe he’d take her there.

Butterflies swooped in her stomach, and her limbs felt tingly and trembling.

Excitement, probably, but also nerves. He would say yes.

He would. Why wouldn’t he? It wasn’t like she was proposing marriage, just that they see each other again.

There was nothing wrong with that. He liked her; he’d said as much.

They had talked for hours. It would be fine. He would say yes.

Wrapping herself in the biggest, fluffiest towel robe she could find, she took a deep breath and stepped outside of the bathroom, her throat growing strangely thick.

Felix was waiting for her at the table, a wonderful spread of pastries and bacon, and fruit in front of him. He had thrown his trousers back on, and a shirt which stayed unbuttoned, revealing the hard planes of his chest.

“I didn’t know what you liked, so I ordered everything,” he said, as if it were nothing at all to order nine or ten items at one of the priciest hotels in Portland. Cassie had been ignoring how fancy the room was thus far. She was overwhelmed enough as it was.

“Thanks,” she said shyly, slipping into the chair opposite him, starting to pile her plate high with fruit. She didn’t often get to eat fruit—not fruit as nice as this, at any rate.

“You’re welcome,” he said, pouring himself coffee.

“Felix,” she said suddenly, realizing she only had so long before her nerves gave out entirely, “I, um, I have something to ask you.”

He raised an eyebrow, raising the steaming mug of coffee to his lips. “Yes?”

“Do you, um,” she drew in a deep breath, “do you perhaps want to do this again? See each other, I mean. Not sex. Well, maybe sex, but…that’s not the…what I’m trying to say is I’ll be in the area for a while, and…well…I’d like to see you again.”

She finished her words in a garbled rush, glancing between her plate and his surprised face, her hands shaking and her belly roiling.

The silence stretched out between them, thick and awkward.

Felix stared at her, his mouth slightly open, his brow furrowed.

With a start, Cassie realized she may have made a terrible mistake.

“Look, Cassie,” he said slowly. Carefully.

Shit.

“I think you’re great, and last night was amazing, but—”

“It’s fine,” Cassie said and stood abruptly, the chair clattering behind her, her breakfast forgotten as she rushed to gather her things.

“You’re a human,” Felix continued, “and I’m a shifter. I have certain responsibilities that mean—”

“Really, Felix, it’s fine,” she said, her throat thick and painful. Stupid, stupid, stupid .

He stood, his hands half-reached out as if to help her as she tore around the room. “Really, it’s nothing to do with you—”

“Thank you for a lovely night,” she said as she yanked her dress over her head, too humiliated to care if he saw her body as she did so, “but I should probably be going now.”

He considered her for a moment, his brow still creased into a frown, before he nodded once and picked up the phone on the bedside table. “I’ll call you a cab.”

***

In the car, Cassie tried her best not to bash her head against the window. What an absolute idiot she was. Of course, he didn’t want to see her again. She was her, and he was him, and he probably hadn’t even enjoyed himself, and it was just a one-night stand, and she was so stupid .

Unbidden, a tear rolled down her cheek, and she dashed it away with a barely-contained snarl of anger.

This was precisely why she didn’t get mixed up in this sort of thing.

She would only get hurt. And she had let herself get hurt.

There was no one to blame but herself. Felix had been lovely and charming, but he didn’t owe her anything.

He had a whole life to get back to. Why would he want to spend any more time with a scrappy, plain little girl like her?

Her phone chimed in her bag, and she pulled it out with slightly more violence than was strictly necessary. Alongside a bunch of texts from Phil, there was a new message from Molly.

Cassie, I hope you’re well. I’m pleased to say I’ve finalized all the details for your new job. I’m sure you’re going to love it. Could you come into the office tomorrow, and I can run through all the details with you in person? Shall we say ten a.m.?

Cassie’s head fell back against the headrest as she reread the message.

A new job. One with stability and a roof over her head and, hopefully, protection.

This was a good thing. She should focus on that.

She fired back a text to Molly confirming that she would be there and put her phone back in her bag.

A new job. A new city. A new her, perhaps.

Soon, she would forget all about Felix.