Page 22 of Alpha Wolf’s Nanny (Silvermist Wolves #2)

Cassie chewed on her lip, staring down at her toast, her foot tapping against the floor.

Felix still hadn’t said a word to her this morning.

She told herself it was nothing, told herself he was probably just tired. He did seem oddly withdrawn, his eyes vacant as he stared out the window, his chin resting on his hands, his eyebrow twitching now and again.

But still. He normally said good morning. Asked how she slept. But since he had gone to the Pine Shadow Club a few days ago…

It was like she didn’t even exist to him.

Her foot tapped faster against the floor, and she glanced at the clock. The boys would be up in about fifteen minutes, and she would be whirled into getting them ready for school. For now, it was just her and Felix, and the aching empty space between them.

She didn’t know what to do.

Something had changed between them; that much was clear.

He had told her on that hike that he respected her, that he thought she was…

beautiful. But then they got back, and the real world slammed into him.

Maybe one of the other shifters had said something to him?

She wouldn’t put it past Rick to badmouth her behind her back.

His distaste for humans bordered on sociopathic.

Felix wasn’t like that, though. At least, she thought he wasn’t. She hoped he wasn’t. But based on his behavior the past few days, she didn’t really know what to think.

Maybe it was her. The fact that she was a human, the fact that she wasn’t some glamorous city girl, some worldly vixen who could keep him entertained.

She was nothing more than West Coast trash who had fled her away across the continent, running from debts she had no way of settling. She was nothing.

And Felix…Felix was everything .

He was the alpha of one of the most powerful packs in America. He had redefined shifter relationships with local communities. There were academic papers written about him, for God’s sake. She knew. She had spent one night spiraling and googling him into the wee hours of the morning.

The new face of shifter leadership.

He had his pack. He had his boys. He had a whole community, a family, to look after and to look after him. When she really thought about it, what on earth would he want with a scrappy little human like her? He could have anyone he wanted.

She thought after the woods, after their talk, things might change. The nature of their relationship might change. It had seemed like he was opening himself up to the possibility of…of something deeper.

But the opposite was true, it seemed. He was more closed off than ever. And Cassie had absolutely no idea what to do.

Perhaps she should leave. It was, after all, what she was best at. She could catch another bus and find herself another town to set up a life in. One without shifters.

There was, however, still the small matter of the debt collectors. Whatever confusion she had about Felix, whatever longing, whatever anger, she couldn’t deny how safe she felt in his presence. And she wasn’t sure she was ready to give that up just yet.

She couldn’t keep on living like this, however. Not talking to him, not even being acknowledged by him.

Taking in a deep breath, she reached for the pot of freshly brewed coffee steaming in the center of the table and cleared her throat.

“Would you like a refill?”

Her voice came out smaller than she intended. Too light. Too careful. She hated herself for how hopeful it sounded.

Felix blinked, as if only just remembering she was there. He looked at his mug, then at her, his expression unreadable.

“No, thank you.”

No smile. No warmth. Just those words, clipped and polite.

Cassie nodded, keeping her face neutral, though her stomach clenched tight. “Right. Of course.”

She poured herself a cup instead, though she wasn’t thirsty. The coffee was too hot, bitter on her tongue, but she forced herself to swallow.

The silence between them stretched until it frayed her nerves raw.

She didn’t know what she was waiting for.

Some acknowledgement, perhaps, some explanation, anything that might tell her she hadn’t made the whole thing up.

That the night they shared had meant something.

That moment in the woods, when he called her beautiful, had been real.

But still he said nothing.

The clock ticked on. The sun poured through the windows.

She stood, scraping her chair back, and busied herself making toast for the boys.

She could hear them now, clattering around upstairs.

A hollow sort of ache settled in her chest, like grief for something that hadn’t even had a chance to begin.

She didn’t cry. She was too used to disappointment to cry over it.

The boys came thundering in minutes later, tumbling to the table and accepting plates of toast with delight and thanks, yelling over each other to her, telling her about their plans for the day.

Cassie smiled. For them, she could always smile.

If they noticed any tension between her and Felix, they didn’t mention it, probably too focused on scarfing down their food in record time.

Once they were done, she ushered them off to go and get dressed and began clearing the table.

Felix remained seated at the kitchen table, unreadable as ever, while she flitted around the room helping the boys get packed for school. She didn’t look at him. She couldn’t.

She felt him, though, like static in the air. His presence was impossible to ignore, even when he said nothing. Especially when he said nothing.

When Logan knocked over his juice, Felix moved to grab a cloth from the counter, but Cassie was already there, dabbing quickly at the mess with a forced smile on her lips.

“Don’t worry about it,” she said brightly, though her voice caught at the end, “happens every morning, doesn’t it, Logan?”

“Wasn’t my fault,” Logan muttered, “Danny elbowed me.”

“I didn’t touch you!” Danny snapped.

“Alright, alright,” Cassie cut in, still not looking at Felix, “it’s all good. No one’s in trouble. Go grab your lunchboxes and put your shoes on. Bus’ll be here soon.”

The boys scampered off, leaving her alone with Felix once more. Silence descended again, thick and heavy.

She turned her back to him, rinsing the cloth in the sink even though it was already clean.

“I’m taking the boys to the woods again this afternoon,” she said finally. Her voice was low, stiff. “They want to build a lookout post.”

“Fine,” Felix said.

Just that. Nothing more. She had hoped he might ask to come with them. But no.

Cassie bit the inside of her cheek until it hurt.

When the bus arrived, she helped the boys bundle out the door with their backpacks bouncing behind them, waving as they ran to join the cluster of other children.

As soon as the bus pulled away, she stood in the doorway a moment longer than necessary, arms crossed over her chest, gaze fixed on the horizon.

She felt hollow. Brittle.

With a sigh, she went back inside, climbed the stairs, and made her way into her bathroom. It was spacious, clean, and quiet.

Too quiet.

The sound of the water masked her sniffle as she turned the shower on and peeled her clothes away. She stepped under the stream, letting it scald her skin. She scrubbed harder than she needed to, as if she could scrub away the shame blooming under her ribs. The humiliation. The ache.

He was avoiding her. There was no denying it now. Not even pretending to be polite.

And she didn’t know why.

Had she done something wrong? Been too forward? Asked too much of him? Had she been foolish to think that the night in the woods would have changed anything between them?

She leaned her head against the cool tile and shut her eyes.

Of course she had been foolish.

What did she expect? That a powerful, impossibly handsome Alpha with more on his shoulders than most people could handle would fall headfirst for the human nanny with a mess of a past and absolutely nothing to offer him?

A choked laugh escaped her.

It had been a mistake. All of it. Letting herself hope. Letting herself believe.

She should never have come here.

But where else could she have gone?

A few minutes later, she stepped out of the shower and wrapped herself in a towel, the steam fogging the mirror. She wiped it with the flat of her palm and stared at herself. Her cheeks were flushed from the heat, her freckles more pronounced. Her eyes looked too wide. Too raw.

She looked like a girl trying very, very hard not to cry.

“Pathetic,” she whispered.

She pulled herself together the best she could. Dried herself off, dressed in one of her cleaner outfits, jeans, a loose plaid shirt, sleeves rolled up. Something easy, something nondescript. Something that wouldn’t draw anyone’s attention.

Especially not his.

She padded barefoot back to her room and sat on the edge of the bed, towel still wrapped around her damp hair. A half-packed backpack sat on the floor with spare snacks and juice boxes already tucked inside for the boys’ trip to the woods. She stared at it for a long moment.

At least out there, she didn’t feel so small.

And at least they still wanted her around.

Her thoughts turned again to Felix. How quiet he’d been. How distant. His expression when he looked at her, when he bothered to look at her at all, was tight. Guarded. Like he was holding something back.

Was he angry at her?

Or worse…disappointed?

Her chest twisted painfully.

She reached for the hairbrush, her hands moving automatically, tugging the bristles through the knots.

If he wasn’t going to say anything, if he was going to keep pretending like nothing had ever happened between them, then fine. She’d stop trying. She wouldn’t push. She’d do her job, take care of the boys, and stay out of his way.

She was good at that. Disappearing when she wasn’t wanted.

After all, he’d made it painfully clear all those weeks ago that he expected professionalism. The lapse in the woods didn’t have to change anything.

She caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror and sucked in a breath. Old wounds, childhood taunts, echoed in her ears.

Ew, she looks like a stick insect. Have you seen how buggy her eyes are?

Are you like, super poor? Why do your clothes smell like that?

You’re literally like, so disgusting. Like I would kill myself if I looked like you.

You’re nothing but a loser virgin with a deadbeat dad and a mom who probably doesn’t even want you.

They were words. Just words. Why did they still have so much power over her?

It didn’t actually matter what Felix said, how much he reassured her.

She’d never believe that his rejection was because of anything other than how she looked.

He could say it was because she was a human and he was a shifter all he liked, but the truth remained. She wasn’t good enough for him.

He needed someone like Daisy. Someone pretty and sweet and fiercely devoted.

A shifter, sure, but also someone who knew her worth.

She’d heard stories, of course, about how Nicolas and Daisy had gotten together.

How Gracie’s biological mom, Francesca, had tried to drive them apart.

From the sounds of things, Daisy had acted with such grace, such elegance…

it was no wonder Nicolas fell in love with her. She knew what she was worth.

Cassie also knew what she was worth. And it was a hell of a lot less than someone like Daisy.

She was trash. A runaway, destitute, a liar. She had nothing to offer, and nobody who truly wanted her.

She glanced again at the backpack. No, that wasn’t true. She believed that the boys loved her, and she loved them. But she was putting them in danger just by being here. If the debt collectors found her…

No. She couldn’t go down that road.

She would avoid Felix and do her job. That was it.

She tried to pretend that it wasn’t breaking her heart.