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Jax blew out a loud breath. “The last time we talked—really talked—was intense.”

Niall barked a laugh. “Um, ya think? Is that what this is? Are you still worried about me being poly? I told you before and I’ll tell you as many times as you need to hear it. I’m completely fine being exclusive.”

This time, Jax accompanied another drawn-out exhale with a bullseye stare into Niall’s eyes. “But you don’t have to be.”

Niall’s eyebrows drew together. “Huh?”

“You don’t have to be.”

A horn honked on the street outside and both men startled. But Jax’s gaze remained steady as his sentence hung in the air. Finally, Niall murmured, “I don’t understand.”

Jax clasped the counter on either side of Niall, pinning him against it. “Maybe you don’t need to be ‘fine’ with just us. What I’ve realized over these past few weeks is that we’re not a great couple because we’re exclusive, or because you’re willing to make this sacrifice for me—”

“I’ve told you, it’s not a sacrifice.”

Jax booped him on the nose. “Let me finish, okay? We’re a great couple because, when we’re together, I feel more like myself than I ever have. And I think it’s the same for you.”

“It’s definitely the same for me. These past ten months with you have been the happiest of my life.”

“Somehow I knew you’d say that.” Blinking, Jax stepped back again. “If I ask you something, will you give me an honest answer?”

“That’s our deal.” Niall spoke gamely but couldn’t hide the wariness in his tone.

“Would you still have said that if you didn’t also have Ronan and Teal and the boys? Like, if I had come to you six months ago and demanded you quit, would this still have been the happiest time for you?”

Niall’s head tilted. “I…I can’t say, honestly. I’ve never thought about it.”

“Well, I think I know. And I think the reason you’re happy is that you’re still able to love them—and me. I’d also guess these past two months that you’ve been able to do both with no fear about having to hide anything have been the best ones.”

Niall’s chin dropped. “It has…been easier…since I’ve been honest with you,” he stammered.

Jax realized Niall hadn’t considered this before. He could feel his boyfriend gathering his thoughts.

“I have a bit of a confession to make,” Jax said.

“Ever since you told me, I’ve been doing a lot of reading on polyamory.

And it sounds like it’s a unique experience for everyone.

I think I was putting too much stock in the whole sex part of things.

Like, I was so busy worrying about you wanting to maybe fuck Ronan or Teal that I didn’t even pay attention to the most important part.

That you love them. This whole time, you’ve been loving us—all of us—and our relationship, yours and mine, has only gotten better. ”

Niall’s lips thinned. “I still don’t get what you’re driving at.”

“Think about it, Nigh. Loving you means I love all the parts of you. Including the part that loves them.”

Niall shook his head. “No, Jax. I don’t like what you’re implying. I don’t love them the way I love you. I’m not with them the way I used to be. Being poly means I can be happy with multiple partners. But it also means I can be happy with one. And I am.”

“I know, but c’mon. They’re sort of your partners too. That didn’t really stop when we got together, did it? It doesn’t matter who sticks their dick where.”

“Nuh-uh. I think that part does matter. A lot. Plenty of people have platonic friends they love deeply. It doesn’t make them partners.”

Jax shook his head, holding his arms out.

“Let’s be real here. You guys were lovers for years.

You’re helping raise their kids. You’ve been supporting them through the High Court case, and before that when Teal got his career going.

You said it yourself two months ago. They trust you with this massive secret that could implode their lives.

You’re more than friends, Nigh. Don’t you see?

You said you’d never done exclusive or serious before, but you were exclusive and serious when I met you. With them.”

Jax sucked in a cleansing breath, believing he’d finally expressed himself in a way that made sense.

But Niall sounded hurt when he responded, “I feel like I can’t get this right. I’ve been as honest as I can be, and you’re still not accepting that I’m okay being with only you.”

“We’re circling around again,” Jax said. “To my original statement, that I don’t really know if you have to be. If that’s even the best thing.”

“But why?”

“Because you’ve loved Ronan and Teal the whole time we’ve been together.”

Niall made a gesture very close to an eye roll. “This again. And?”

“And it hasn’t made a lick of difference in terms of how quickly or how deeply I’ve fallen in love with you.

I’ve never felt neglected. You’ve done nothing to make me question our love…

other than not being honest about your history with Ronan and Teal.

And now that you’ve given me that piece, I feel closer to you than ever.

Sharing you with them has taken away exactly nothing from our relationship. ”

Niall looked taken aback, almost like he’d been struck. “You don’t… share me,” he whispered.

Jax’s eyes bore into the other man’s. “Don’t I?”

“I… I…”

“Nigh, it’s okay. Nothing’s wrong. It took me two months, but I’ve gotten over myself. I started to think so once I began reading up on things, and I knew it for sure last night when I was inside you.”

Niall gulped, his throat working roughly. Finally, he asked, “What are you saying? Are you, like, giving me permission to be with them? In bed? Is that what this is?”

Jax closed his eyes as he prepared to confess something he’d only allowed himself to think about in the darkest part of the night. “I’ve been thinking about you…with them. Ever since we talked about it. And when I imagine it… It doesn’t bother me.”

Niall snorted. “Sure.”

“Nigh…” Jax began quietly. “You’re not the only one who might be starting to realize he’s wired a little differently.”

Clearly still reeling, Niall missed the quiver in Jax’s voice. “How’s that?”

Jax’s pulse sped up. “Thinking of the three of you together, it…uh… I don’t mind it. I sort of…like it… Picturing it.”

“Wait—what?” Niall sputtered.

“Yeah. Now that I’ve been feeling secure in our relationship, I understand that my possessiveness wasn’t me needing to claim you. It was more my self-doubt. Since I’ve moved past most of that, I’ve been allowing my mind to…go there.”

Niall swallowed again. “What do you mean ‘go there?’”

Jax shifted his weight to rest his hip against the counter. “You know… You, Ronan, and Teal.”

“You’re telling me you’ve…thought about me with them? Together?” Bewilderment clouded Niall’s features.

“Maybe not details. But I haven’t not thought about it.”

“This is so beyond.” Niall looked down, pinching the bridge of his nose.

“I warned you it would be a shock, but I’m not sure why you seem…upset?”

Niall sighed. “Not upset. Not exactly. I just…I don’t even know.” He dropped his arms to his sides. “I never expected this. I don’t need this .”

“What is it you think you don’t need?” Jax tried a different approach.

“I don’t need you to tell me it’s okay for me to fuck my bosses!” Niall snapped.

“Hey… That’s not what’s happening here.” Jax paced back and forth in the small kitchen.

“All I’m saying is that I’m keeping an open mind about things.

I’m not going to keep this hard and fast rule about monogamy only because it’s all I’ve ever done before.

If you feel you want to…explore…with Ronan and Teal, you don’t need to keep it from me.

Or protect me from it. I’m not trying to push you into their bed—into anyone’s bed—I’m just saying you don’t need to be afraid to tell me. ”

Niall frowned. “Is there any chance we’re having this discussion because you found someone else you want to fuck? Is there a cute little beta hanging around the Hampson project?”

Jax laughed. “No. There is absolutely no one else on my radar right now. But out of curiosity, how would you feel if there was?”

Niall put a hand on Jax’s shoulder to stop his pacing. “You know I’m not really the jealous type.”

“So you’d be okay with it?”

“I mean, I guess I’d be okay as long as we talked about it. For me, the only thing that counts as cheating is hiding and dishonesty.”

“Well, that’s good to know, I suppose, but I meant what I said. There’s no one I want other than you.”

“But you want me to be with Ronan and Teal?”

“Again, not what I said.” Jax tugged his boyfriend’s slender body to his. “What I said is I’m willing to keep an open mind. And most of all, I want you to be your whole self, and I want you to be happy. If you’re holding back because you think you’ll lose me, you won’t.”

Niall looped his arms around Jax, smooshing his face against the beta pride tattoo on his chest. “You’re not the only one who’s been doing some thinking since our talk.”

“No?”

“No.”

“And what have you been thinking about?”

“About how easy it’s been for me to stay faithful to you.

Because something I’ve realized is that I’m past the stage in my life where I want to do anything casual or fuck around.

When I figured out what I had with Ronan and Teal was serious, and not just the sexy job perk I’d deluded myself into thinking it was at the time, I also realized that I don’t have any interest in meaningless encounters anymore.

It’s not hard for me to be with you because I was ready to commit. ”

“But you still love Ronan and Teal.”

“Because I’m committed to them too. But in a different way. They’re my family, just like you.”

“I know. Except I’m away a lot these days. You love them, and you have needs. I understand if you decide to take things further. I know it has nothing to do with what you and I have.”

Niall shook his head. “I think I get what you’re saying here.

And it makes me love you so much more that you’re trying to make me happy.

But I can’t see myself doing that, being with them in bed just because you’re five hours away and it’s convenient.

That would feel too much like living two different lives.

And that’s the literal opposite of being a whole person.

I’ll never be with Ronan and Teal again because I can’t have two meaningful romantic relationships at the same time. And I don’t want anything casual.”

Jax’s jaw flexed. He’d been so sure Niall would be relieved Jax had gotten to this place. “Nigh, I want you to be happy, whatever that looks like. Be with them. Don’t be with them. Just know I’m with you, loving you, no matter what .”

Niall leaned in and gave Jax a long, slow kiss.

After pulling away, he said, “I think I know something that might make this better. Help you understand.” At Jax’s interested expression, he continued, “I don’t want to feel like I have a foot in two different families all the time.

There can’t be a ‘me and you’ and a ‘me and them.’”

“What are you thinking?”

“I think it would be good for you to get to know Ronan and Teal. For us all to spend time together. That would make me a wholer whole person.” Niall chuckled.

“You don’t think that would be weird?”

“Absolutely not. Then you can see for yourself that what I have with them differs from what we share.”

“And it would make you happy?” Jax carded his fingers through Niall's hair.

“Yes.”

“Done.”

Jax wasn’t sure spending time with the McGinns would help him gain any clarity, but there was nothing like the rush he got from making his boyfriend smile. For that, he would do anything.