Page 33 of Almost Rotten

“Ty.”

I blink. Force myself to swallow.

Bite down on the inside of my cheek until I taste blood.

When I blink again, coming back to the here and now, Atty’s face floats into focus.

His light brown eyes, so similar to Sawyer’s. The freckles barely visible against his tanned skin.

It’s the sick concern etched into the lines on his forehead and the pull of his eyebrows that warn me that I’ve really fucking done it.

I went dark again.

I dropped into it so seamlessly, I didn’t even feel it coming on.

“You’re slipping more often.”

The accusation isn’t harsh. It just… is.

“I’m fine,” I croak out, my gut twisting painfully.

I’m not.

He’s right.

But the darkness is more insidious when I’m tired. Triggered by stress. Change. Unexpected situations. Every goddamn thing, it seems.

It was easier to hide the depth of my darkness when I was fighting to make it to the light.

That’s what Sawyer is: My guiding light. My perpetual flame.

That fucking asshole tried to snuff her out and take her from me.

I put a stop to that, though. And now I’ve got her right where I want her.

She’s mine.

She’s going to stay mine.

The darkness will fade.

Everything will be better, from here on out.

With a slow, steady exhale, I look my best friend in the eye. “I’ve got it under control.”

Jaw clenched, he stares me down, like he’s wading through my bullshit, searching for the truth.

His concern is warranted but unwanted.

I hold his gaze, keeping my mask in place. “Now that we’re here and the season has started, it’ll all be okay.”

Now that he sees how deep I’ve let myself fall, I have to be careful about how I talk about Sawyer with him. Atty’s never been scared of my demons. He’s stood by my side and held me up as I faced them. But I can’t imagine he’ll be entirely unconcerned when I explain that Sawyer and I are finally together.

Will he be surprised?

Probably not.

But there will be apprehension there.