Page 25 of Allured (Love and Burlesque #1)

CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE

ALEK

Confessions.

I t doesn’t take us long to get to the outskirts of the city. Big structures become smaller and more spaced out, until they just about disappear on the way to our picnic spot: a nice grassy field with some large trees for coverage.

Ez and I chat lazily about upcoming events we have this week and things we are looking forward to. Even with the building anxiety of telling him about my past, it was so easy to mention the Sunday dinner with my siblings that I was hosting tomorrow. It was even easier to invite Ezekiel to it because something deep in my heart has faith this confession of mine will be accepted and understood by him.

“We’re here, angel.”

Leaning over to place a peck on his cheek, I take the opportunity to run my hand up his thigh as I park the car.

“Aleksander—” he warns and I smirk in response.

“I’m just gettin’ your seatbelt, Ez.” My lips brush against his face much softer than my fingers dig into his thigh, but in the end, I really do unbuckle him. Not being the best time for teasing, I figured this conversation would go better if we both didn’t have raging hard—ons.

“C’mon, there’s a gorgeous spot I want to show you.”

I’m pulling everything out of the backseat, looping the picnic basket and small cooler on my forearm and tossing the blanket and pillow over my shoulders when Ez calls out.

“Would you like some assistance?” Ezekiel asks beside me, peeking into the backseat to see if there’s anything else left to grab.

“Nah, I got it, Ez.”

“It seems like a lot to carry and I am perfectly capable of helping, Alek.”

Stepping back, I let the car door swing shut between us as I stare Ezekiel down.

“Actually,” I begin, taking a few small steps towards him. “Hmm... this is feeling a little light, like I might be missing something.”

Ezekiel spots my grin and realizes what I’m doing too late to stop me. I lunge at him.

“Alek, don’t you dare!”

His complaint is cut off quickly when I wrap my free arm underneath his ass and toss him over my shoulder on top of the pile of blankets.

“Ah, there we go,” I say triumphantly, adjusting him so that he’s comfortable on my shoulder.

Ezekiel squirms for a few seconds until he relaxes and laughs against the fabric of the pillows. I take it as my cue to walk us up the hill and towards the shady little spot I love.

“You are a brute,” he sighs.

“Yeah, and you love it.”

I close the distance with a couple more strides. I’m definitely not missing how Ezekiel’s hands press against the top of my ass.

“Alek, baby.” Astonishment coats his voice.

Setting down the basket, and cooler first, I keep an arm firmly wrapped around Ezekiel as I carefully slide him down my body to get his feet to the ground.

“This place,” My angel stays in my hold but his eyes take in the secluded beauty of the hills around us. “It’s heavenly.”

I agree, this meadow is nice, but what’s really heavenly is the man before me. Ez is describing the hills while my mind only sees him in the description.

“Yeah, it really is.” My smile is soft while my heart is heavy.

I need to tell him. I can’t take it any longer.

“We should set up food before my stomach eats itself.” I break up the moment, too afraid to let anything so sweet and good continue when it’s possible I won’t experience it again.

“I am still amazed by the amount of food you can eat.” Ezekiel jokes, taking my hand in his and leading us to the picnic supplies so we can set up together.

I take a moment to explain the food once everything’s set up. Simple stuff, really. A variety of cheese, meats, some nuts, pickled veggies, breads and fruits I prepared earlier today.

“It looks excellent Alek, thank you.”

We dig in, pouring ourselves some crisp white wine once we’ve filled our plates.

A comfortable silence settles over us while we snack on the charcuterie and sip the refreshing wine.

It’s now or never.

“Ezekiel.” I begin and scold myself slightly for using his full name. He picks up on it and immediately pinches his brows together in doubt. The fact that this man can read me so well already validates my need to tell him now before my secrets can fester between us.

“I’ve got to tell you something, and I want to lead with… I understand if it’s something that you can’t accept.” I clear my throat as I set my plate down to give him my full attention.

“Alek, please continue.” He mirrors me and sets his food down onto the blanket as well. The look of concern on his face is eating away at me.

“You know I came here with nothing to my name other than a beat up car. Well, I wasn’t making ends meet with the odd jobs I had at first.” I begin, recapping what I’ve already told him during our first date.

“Income wasn’t steady for me until I picked up being an escort. I’d go on dates or spend nights with people who hired me. The money was good, the job wasn’t bad, and at that time in my life, I was happy doing it,” I confess, knowing that the hard part hasn’t even come up yet. With partners in the past, this was about the time they started questioning their standing with me or they’d flat out end things here.

But Ezekiel is listening. I can see he’s processing and he’s not showing any judgment as I lay it all out.

“My last client was Knight. He was getting out of a nasty divorce with his second wife, and as you know, that was a dark time for him. I can’t speak a ton to his motivations but he decided to hire me as his escort. I think I was an experiment for him after his divorce and he was using me to try to feel something.” I can’t prevent my voice from sounding sad at the statement. It was a rough time for Knight and that man really did worm his way into my heart.

“Did you, or do you still have feelings for him?” Ezekiel asks, his eyes wide in what I think is worry.

“No. Not like that. He was a client and I was providing a service and that’s all it was until we actually hit it off as friends.”

My angel nods slowly, his lips pursing together as he’s stuck in thought. So I continue.

“Like I said, it turned out he was just using me to get over a divorce. It was like that with a few of my clients, using me as a rebound for something that didn’t work out. It’s what I was good for.”

Ezekiel’s breathing picks up as a pained expression crosses his face.

“Don’t feel sorry for me, angel.” I move closer to him on the blanket, my hand reaching out to console him. “It was a job and I dealt with the emotions that came with it. It’s in the past.”

“You are not anyone’s rebound, Aleksander.” He says it with a determined tone, squeezing my hand back with equal force.

Ezekiel searches my face, his breath is still heavy, but now closer so that it brushes against my lips.

“You are everything and more. I am sorry that anyone has ever made you feel less than.”

It’s my eyes that round in surprise now, but I still can’t comfortably meet his stare.

“This isn’t a deal breaker for you?” I ask, confusion in my tone as I fidget with a fray in the blanket.

“Aleksander, your past is your past. It would be hypocritical of me to judge your history when we all have one of our own.” Ez raises his hand to cup my jaw and tilts my head so my eyes meet his. “I only hope that you know this is different.”

His last statement takes me by surprise. Of course this is different. I know that. Ezekiel has been nothing but open and understanding with me. I’ve never felt used by him.

“I know, angel. I trust you.” I relax into his hand, laying my cheek into his touch.

I notice the visible shake in his chest as Ezekiel lets out a ragged breath.