Page 30 of All Your Lies (All or Nothing #2)

twenty-four

Alexa

T he silence hangs heavily between us as we make our way to my place. My mind and heart are in chaos as conflicting emotions consume me, leaving me torn and worn out.

The desire to trust him and reclaim what we had when we were teens consumes me, even though I know our current dynamic will never be the same as we had before.

Perhaps I don’t want it to be. Both of us have transformed and grown since our youth and fit better now than we ever would have if none of the other bullshit had happened.

But the only thing I know for certain is if I go home with him now, I’ll let him do just about anything he wants with me. There wouldn’t be any objections on my part, and that’s not the way I want this to work.

My thighs rub together, remembering his earlier closeness.

His creative way of still getting what he wanted but not pushing me too far.

If anything, he pushed exactly where he needed to—driving me absolutely crazy and over the edge to where I would have let him do many more things to me.

And for that reason, we need to take a step back.

It may seem illogical, given our recent actions and upcoming nuptials, but I can’t dispel this sense of unreadiness.

The car stops, and I go for the handle.

“No,” he murmurs.

Confused, I glance over at him, only to see him closing his car door and heading toward my side.

The car door opens, and he looks down at me while offering his hand. I’m thrown into the past.

7 YEARS AGO

I grab Gage’s hand like a lifeline as he pulls me from his car outside my house.

“Thank you,” I say as I wipe the moisture from my eyes.

Despite Marco’s absence, I placed second out of twenty-eight competitors in the finals of my swim meet.

Mom and Dad had to go out of town for a funeral and Rosie had a dance competition.

Marco promised he’d be there for me since no one else could, but he let me down once again.

He’s been doing that a lot lately. Dad would’ve never done that to Mom.

Gage’s gaze meets mine as I stand before him, his bottom lip anxiously caught between his teeth. “You did amazing tonight, Lex. You should be proud of yourself. I know I’m proud of you.”

I feel another tear escape my eye and trickle down my cheek. Gage’s thumb comes to my rescue, wiping it away. I lean into his gentle touch. The comfort it gives is instant.

My second-place metal is now sandwiched between our two bodies, and for some reason, I wish it wasn’t there.

I don’t want the barrier between us.

Our eyes connect, and I experience a deep desire for Gage to be the one I’m destined to be with forever.

I can always count on him to come through for me, without fail.

He didn’t have to support me tonight, but he did.

He always does. I had a moment of sadness earlier when I looked into the crowd while receiving my metal.

No one was there, but as my eyes scanned, I saw him off to the side with a smirk on his face and a package in his hand.

At that moment, I felt a familiar wave of calm wash over me, the kind of ease that only he can bring.

In the future, he’ll be the reason behind another girl’s smile. The thought fills me with a mix of sadness and envy.

What if he marries Rocco’s little sister, Gia? She’s a couple of years younger than us and is just as crazy as her brother. Gage might like her. I don’t want him to like her, though, or any other girl, for that matter.

“Hey, everything’s going to be okay,” he says as another tear falls from my eye, but this tear isn’t for me.

This tear is for Gage’s fake marriage I just created in my head.

“No guy is worth your tears. Brother or not, he doesn’t deserve them,” he murmurs, thinking I’m crying about his brother when, really, I’m crying at the thought of losing him to another girl one day.

He wraps an arm around me and directs me to my front door.

“Let’s get you inside. I saw you eyeing that entremont on the way home,” he says with a smile as he holds up the dessert he bought me. My favorite dessert. One day he’ll surprise someone else with her favorite dessert. Sometimes life is so unfair.

I scrunch my nose until I sense him gazing down at me and try to offer him a small smile.

“You still want to go shopping for your dress for the dance tomorrow, yeah?” he asks, probably trying to get my mind off tonight.

“Yeah.” I sigh.

Gage insists on accompanying me all the way to my door. Exhausted, I surrender without resistance, allowing him to lead me along.

As I pull my key from my bag, I notice Gage is already inside my place. I thought I locked it earlier.

I step past the threshold and into utter chaos. The once pristine brown leather couch now bears the marks of multiple knife stabbings. The few frames I brought with me are nothing more than broken shards of glass on the ground.

My heart hammers against my ribs as I reach my bedroom door and freeze.

There isn’t one thing in place. Broken wood pieces surround the dresser drawers, which were once filled with clothes.

Feathers cover every surface from remnants of shredded pillows and my down comforter.

But what has my stomach in my throat is the dozens of roses thrown on my bed with all of my panties, which seem shredded too.

I join Gage at the foot of my bed, where he’s examining everything, and then I pick up a pair of my panties to inspect them.

Regret washes over me in an instant when I feel the sensation of something wet and gooey. I shriek and throw them down before rubbing my hand against my dress repeatedly. I almost give myself a rug burn but don’t care in the slightest as long as I get that off my hand.

What the fuck .

“I’ll give you five minutes to collect your clothes and anything else you want to bring. You’re coming home with me.” His jaw tightens, and the gun in his right hand trembles as he instructs me.

The idea of objecting enters my thoughts, but the intensity in his eyes makes me think twice. I can sense the simmering rage just beneath the surface, and I have no desire to provoke it right now.

“Okay. But I’ll leave the clothes. I want nothing on my body that this person has touched.”

Gage nods his head. “We’ll go shopping tomorrow. Five minutes.”

“You can take the first room on the right. It was Ro’s when she stayed here. I have to make a few calls.” He turns, walks into his office, and shuts the door.

I ascend the stairs to the room which will be mine and settle on the bed’s edge. With my body trembling and my stomach still experiencing the sickening sensation from my place being ransacked, I cross my arms over my stomach and lean over, taking deep breaths until it passes.

Why would someone do this to me? I haven’t had time to make any enemies.

The disgusting display on my bed made it personal. The person responsible has to be the same person who’s been following me and leaving roses at my door. And their behavior is becoming more extreme and brazen. I’m terrified of what their next move will be.

There’s a light tap on the door, and I raise my eyes to see Gage. “I’m sure you want to shower and sleep. I can give you some of my clothes until tomorrow.”

“Okay.”

I rise and trail behind him down the hall and into his walk-in closet. He retrieves an oversized black shirt and a pair of his black boxer briefs from a drawer and hands them to me.

“You can take a shower in here. I don’t think I have anything in the other bathroom for you to use.”

“Okay,” I whisper, my gaze falling upon the clothes in my trembling hands.

His index and middle finger gently lift my face to meet his gaze. “Hey, everything will be okay.”

Tears fill my eyes as I gaze up at him, making it hard to see, but I nod.

With a gentle tug on my arm, he pulls me into his warm embrace. His powerful arms wrap around me, holding me close as my head finds its place against his chest. I breathe in deeply and anchor myself to the safety he provides.

“Thank you,” I whisper.

“I got you,” he says as he kisses the top of my head. “I always got you.”

As I wake up later, the darkness of the room envelops me. I reach for my phone on the nightstand and see it’s a little past two in the morning. After a long struggle to initially fall asleep, I’m now fully awake, extremely tired, and can’t close my eyes.

Somewhere in the house, a gentle tune plays, its notes barely audible but enough to capture my attention. I peel the covers away from my warm body and shiver as the cool air hits my skin, peering down the dimly lit hall.

A soft, warm light spills out from Gage’s room. With light footsteps, I make my way to his room and cautiously peer inside. He sits with his back against his headboard and his laptop on his lap. From the furrowed brow and thunderous typing, he seems like he’s busy, so I turn around.

“Hey, are you okay?”

I turn back toward him. “I can’t sleep.”

“You can come in here if you’d like.” He pats the other side of the bed. “I have a little work to do, but you can watch TV.”

“That’s okay. Maybe I can sit and listen to music while you work, though?”

“Of course,” he says as he places his laptop on his duvet and moves to the other side of the bed while I stand there, watching his every move.

As his sweatpants dangle loosely from his hips, I can’t help but admire the alluring contours of his body, now illuminated by the gentle glow.

He’s dangerously perfect. His body is like a loaded gun.

Smooth but hard. Lethal and deadly, depending on the one who’s holding it, and Gage knows that.

Making him the most dangerous person of all.

The thought of him being my husband makes heat appear on my cheeks.

He walks to his mini fridge and pulls out a water bottle before walking it over to me.

“Thanks,” I say as I grab it and examine his outstretched inner forearm, where I see a tattoo that sticks out among the rest.

My eyes widen as I gaze up at him.

“Is that…?”

“Yeah, you like it? It was my first tattoo.”

I rub my finger along my name in a beautiful cursive font. “I don’t know what to say.”

“You being speechless is more than enough.” He chuckles as he walks to his side of the bed.

His side? What the hell am I saying? I walk to the other side of the bed and try not to consider it mine. His bed is like a cloud, and I sink into its plushness immediately.

I peer at him. “I can’t believe you got my name tattooed on you. Are you freaking crazy?”

“Only for you,” he smirks as he types.

“Well, don’t expect me to get yours.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.” He smirks.

“What are you doing?”

“Nothing important.” He shuts his laptop. “Let’s watch a movie. Scary or funny?”

“Funny.” I can’t handle scary after the horror of my place earlier.

“Snacks?” He quirks his eyebrow.

“Duh.”

The lights dim to blackness from an app on his phone as the movie begins to play. The opening credits are all I need to see to know it’s one of his favorites and a movie we’ve watched a million times.

“You would!”

“It’s a classic,” he says while he lights up a joint and rests it between his lips.

I eye him as he pulls it from his mouth. “You want some?”

I shake my head. “I tried it once with Jenna and it wasn’t that great.”

“You obviously had some outdoor dirt,” he says with a smirk and a twinkle in his eyes. “Let me try something.”

“What?”

“Trust me,” he says as he brings the joint back to his lips and inhales.

Without warning, he leans closer to me and our lips collide.

I open the slightest bit, and he blows the smoke beyond my lips.

I close my eyes and inhale deeply as his lips leave mine before blowing the smoke out of my lungs.

The sensation of floating overcomes me almost instantly as I open my eyes and smile at him.

Holy shit, he just did that shotgun thing I’ve seen in movies, and it was just as sexy as it seemed on screen.

“We had trash,” I say with a smile before giggling. Why am I giggling? This makes him laugh deeply while holding his tight, tattooed abs.

Moments like this fill me with nostalgia. Thousands of memories collide and leave me with a sense of happiness I haven’t experienced in longer than I can remember.

The bed dips as Gage gets up. I keep my eyes forward and act like I’m watching the movie even though I haven’t paid attention to a single scene since it started.

“Here.” He holds out a bar of chocolate. I gaze down at it before snatching it out of his hand.

“Trying to get brownie points or what?”

“I can think of more pleasurable ways to earn brownie points, Lex,” he murmurs as he gets back into bed and much closer to me than before.

My stomach does a flip at the use of my nickname. This is the first time I’ve heard him say it since we were younger, and it does things to me, things I’m not willing to admit to myself.

I ignore him and break off a piece of chocolate, then place it on my tongue and moan as the velvety goodness melts instantly.

I catch him gazing at me with a weird expression on his face. “What?”

“Nothing.”

I hold the chocolate bar up. “I’ll give you a piece if you can be a good boy.”

He licks his lips as he looks over at me. “Where’s the fun in that?”

“Guess you aren’t getting any, then.” I shrug. His hand shoots out as he attempts to grab my chocolate, but I hold it to my side as I lean away. “Nope, none for you.”

Gage jumps on top of me with a quickness I don’t expect. His thighs lock my legs closed while his hands grip my wrists, holding me in place. My chocolate bar stands vertical in my hands above my head.

“You were saying?” He arches a brow.

“Bad boys don’t deserve chocolate.”

Gage leisurely scans my body under him. “But bad girls do?”

“I’m not a bad girl.”

“No, you’re my good girl, aren’t you?” he says in a velvety voice that sounds better than my chocolate tastes.

My cheeks heat and I turn my head away from his intense stare. He leans above me and takes a huge bite out of my chocolate bar.

“Hey!” I shriek as the piece of chocolate hangs from his mouth.

He dips his head and places the other side against my lips. I open my mouth and bite the piece off, my eyes never leaving his.

This is unlike any other moment we’ve experienced. It’s not charged by hatred, tension, or lust.

This is two friends finally taking the plunge into the next phase of their relationship.

This is what I imagine our first moments would have been like if all the other shit wouldn’t have happened.

I lift my head, offering myself to him, and he complies as his mouth comes down on mine. It’s reminiscent of our first kiss in the garden, tender and unhurried. Like we’re still unsure, but savoring the moment. His mouth is an intoxicating mix of chocolate and smoke, and I never want it to stop.