Page 26 of All Your Lies (All or Nothing #2)

twenty-one

Gage

D escending the stairs, I quirk a brow as the aroma of eggs and bacon fills the air.

My steps are measured as I come around the corner and see Alexa. One of her delicate hands confidently wields a spatula, while the other casually rests on her white apron-draped hip as the sound of food sizzles.

Where the hell did she find an apron, and is she wearing one of my black shirts?

I lean against the wall, watching as she rifles through the drawers, the wood creaking softly under her touch.

Totally unaware of my gaze, she absentmindedly blows on a lock of dark brown hair that escaped her messy bun resting on the crown of her head.

She’s never been more beautiful than right now.

To have her in our house is a sight I’ve always dreamed of and longed for.

I yearn to trail behind her, my arms encircling her waist, while I plant kisses on her neck. And more, I want her to lean back against me with her head on my chest and a smile on her face.

I shift to more of a standing position as she gazes up at me.

“Don’t stop on my account. Looks like you made yourself right at home.”

“What’s yours is mine, and what’s mine is yours,” she mocks.

“I’m glad you’re finally conceding to your reality.”

She scoffs. “Like fuck I am. I was hungry.”

Observing the island, I see she not only made herself a plate but also prepared one for me.

She remembered my dislike for runny egg yolk, so she scrambled them instead of cooking them sunny side up like the other plate.

A smirk plays on my lips as I meet her gaze again.

Instantly, her eyes narrow with suspicion.

“And I see you’re already doing your wifely duties.”

“I’m an equal. Not a fucking maid, servant, or secretary made just for you.”

“I’m kidding. You know I see you as more than that. You’re my partner. My other half.”

Her head drops to the counter. “We’re here to discuss different matters.”

“They’re interconnected. We should discuss everything.”

“Oh, goody.”

“I’m not the worst choice for a husband.”

“Could have fooled me.”

I cross my arms over my chest in defense. “What makes me so awful?”

As she brings her hand up, I brace myself for what’s coming, knowing she’s about to tally my mistakes. Her middle finger comes up first.

“You lied about your identity.”

“That was—”

“I’m not done. The cameras were a huge invasion of my privacy, and you breaking into my place at night was unacceptable.”

“All things you enjoyed.”

“Still not done.” She bites her lip and looks anywhere but at me before continuing. “My virginity.”

I regard her with confusion. “What about it?”

“You took it, dick, and it wasn’t memorable in a good way whatsoever.”

“You mean...”

“Yep. My first time was awful. Thanks.”

“It was my first, too.”

“Your first what?” She quirks a brow.

“My first time.”

“I don’t want to hear all your lies , Gage. They won’t make me feel any better.”

“I’m not,” I say as I blow out a breath. I think back to Halloween and grimace as I think of the way I thrusted into her so ruthlessly. It probably hurt like a motherfucker. “I’m so sorry, I—”

“You know, it’s kind of hard to believe, considering you own a sex club.”

“The club isn’t what you think.”

“So you’re saying it’s not a sex club? Could have fooled me with all the, I don’t know, sex rooms.”

“It is, but I built it with reasons...”

“I’m not following.”

I sigh. This isn’t what I wanted to talk about with her today.

“My father brought me to the Stockade for years. I watched his men bring young women in under the guise of a fun time after they had one too many drinks at a bar or club. They were into it until they weren’t.

Until they understood there were only two ways they would leave: in a bag or as someone’s property.

I burned the Stockade down because of what it represented, but I still understood the necessity of providing a place for like-minded people to come and explore their desires in a safe, consensual space. ”

She eyes me suspiciously. “And where do you fit into all of this? What’s the sex club for you?”

“I like the money, and I’m fascinated by control. Maybe because I had none.”

I stop at that. Though those are important, my primary reason was to ensure I could meet her needs and desires, both physically and emotionally, without her realizing my insecurities since I was so inexperienced.

I wanted her to crave my touch. To lean into my dominating presence while begging me for more.

“Well, I’m sure you could achieve that in other ways.”

“I...” My gaze shifts for a moment. I need to get my shit under control. My patience is slipping, and the need to lay everything out, bare, including my heart, is taking precedence over the rejection I will most likely receive because of how epically I’ve fucked this up.

I take a deep breath. Fuck it, I’ll talk to her through not only these eyes but the eyes of the boy who was her friend first.

I hold her stare as she regards me with confusion in her eyes.

“I’ve wanted you since we were young. All the best memories have been with you by my side.

At first, it was innocent. Your presence alone made me happy.

You made everything feel like Christmas morning.

I’d go to sleep at night with a smile on my face, knowing I’d see you the following morning.

Then, it turned into something deeper. The way you looked, your sweet coconut smell, your laugh, your smile, your witty, smart-ass personality were addictive, and it no longer became just Christmas morning.

It was the Fourth of July when I hugged you, fireworks shooting through my body in vivid colors.

It was New Year’s Eve when we sat and listened to music together in the dark, so achingly close.

A party for us, and us alone. No alcohol was necessary for the intoxicating effect you had on me.

You have and will always be everything I’ve ever wanted, ever needed.

I want you to have the same feelings for me as I have for you.

I want you to want me, and I was worried I wouldn’t be enough. ”

A tear escapes the confines of her lid and slowly descends her cheek. Alexa has always been strong, so the tear she sheds isn’t taken lightly.

“Gage. I-I,” she stutters, and it kills me.

“Don’t say anything. I just—I just wanted to tell you,” I say, anxiously running my hand against my scalp. The idea of her rejecting me after I confessed my feelings is agonizing.

“But—”

“Don’t,” I plead.

She looks at me for a beat, her eyes lingering before dropping back to the counter; a nervous cough escapes her throat.

“I appreciate your honesty. Something you haven’t given me since making your grand appearance back into my life.

You know, if you had told me it was you from the start, things between us would be different. ”

“Would we be as close as we are now, or would we be in the same place as we were before I left for prison?”

“I don’t know—”

“Exactly. Maybe I should have gone about it differently—”

“You think?” She mutters.

“But,” When she gives me a dirty look, I decide to stop while I’m ahead. This conversation will get us nowhere. What’s done is done. “All this is irrelevant now. I was your first kiss and your first time, and we’re getting married. That’s all that matters.”

“Marco was my first kiss.”

My body tenses. “When?”

“A party in college,” she says with a dismissive shrug.

“What party?”

“A costume party.”

“The angel and devil one?” I ask.

“How did you...?” Her mind works over that night. “You—”

“You looked beautiful that night in the garden.”

“How long have you been watching me?”

“Since I got out.”

“And you never thought to, I don’t know, just show yourself or write me back even once?” she asks as her hand lands on her hip.

“There were things that needed to be taken care of first. I needed to weaken my father’s power and influence.”

What she doesn’t know is I wanted to believe I deserved her, and I thought those actions would make me believe it, but they didn’t, and I don’t know if they ever will.

“Bullshit, Gage. Do you have any idea the hole that was left when you went away? How I cried myself to sleep night after night, or how I prayed that you’d write me back, but you never did?

My heart broke into a million pieces. I felt abandoned by you.

You hurt me, and you never came back to fix it once you were free.

You disappeared.” Tears rim her eyes once more.

A sharp pain pierces my chest as I listened to her account of how my departure affected her. I knew she’d be upset, but I didn’t think it ran that deep. Am I enough of an asshole to find comfort in knowing my absence hurt her just as much as it hurt me? Yes, yes, I am.

“I’m sorry. I didn’t think you’d be that upset.”

As I walk around the kitchen island, the need to hold her and make a promise to never leave her side again rages through me. I want her to know that I’m here forever.

“Don’t even think about it. We haven’t finished.”

I stop mid-stride and put my hands up in surrender.

“What else do I need to know? Everything needs to come out in the open right now, or you lose me forever.”

“After I got out, I started following Marco, my father, and a few other people within the families.”

“So I wasn’t the only lucky one?”

“That fucking mouth. It makes me want to bend you over my knee and spank the living shit out of you.”

She scrunches her nose. “I’d like to see you try. I wasn’t ready last time.”

“I think you weren’t ready on purpose.”

“And I think you’re delusional. Now stop changing the subject.”

“I started following people and making connections, like with Vic’s MC.

My father’s ledgers had a lot of inconsistencies, and they were connected to the MC.

Most were just conjecture until this morning.

To make a long-ass story short, my father paid an assassin or hitman group to take out members of the families.

He even attempted to have Rosie kidnapped at one point, but the details are pretty hazy, and I need to find out more. He also put a hit out on your father.”

Her face pales. “What?”

“Marco found out and shut it down, so don’t worry.”

“That’s why you killed him?”

“That, among many other reasons.” I leave it vague. She doesn’t need to know the ugliness associated with my father and his office of horrors my brother and I faced. There are a few reasons I have tattoos covering most of my body. Scars from my father’s sadistic lessons being one of them.

“What happens now?” Alexa says with a frown.

“It’s time to bring our families together, but if you’d like, we can consummate said marriage right now. Let me make up for the last time.”

“You’re unbelievable, you know that.”

“Have dinner with me tonight.”

She sighs. “It’s never as simple as just dinner with you.”

“Just give me a chance.” She silently stares at me. “Please.”

“We aren’t having dinner at your club.”

“Our club.”

“Be serious for once,” she grumbles.

“Fine. We’ll go somewhere else. Happy?”

“No.”

“I’ll pick you up at six.”

“I’ll drive myself.”

“Cut the bullshit. The only reason girls do that is if they don’t trust the guy they’re having dinner with.”

“Exactly.” She smirks.

“Your dramatics are both tiring and unwarranted.”