Page 60 of All This Time (Blossom Peak #1)

“Well, you were gone, and I didn’t want you to know how badly I was struggling. I regret that now. In fact, I think as men we need to be more honest about how much we struggle with shit life hands us. We’re human, too.”

Elliot glances at Henry. “Is that why you were at the winery so much during that first year after Elizabeth died?”

Henry nods. “Yup. I was making sure the business was staying intact while George found his new normal.”

My friends and I all exchange glances.

“So, the reason I’m bringing this up is because I think all four of you are dealing with shit right now, and I want to remind you that instead of questioning your friendship, this is when you lean on it.

” George nods toward his friends. “Loyalty, promises, and history mean nothing if there isn’t action behind it. ”

He turns to Elliot. “And as for your ‘pact,’” he says, putting air quotes around the word, “there is no reason why any of you should be angry about that. For one, you were fourteen when you made it, and two, there is no way for you to predict how life can change in an instant. I think your new pact should be to work through your shit, trust that your bond is stronger than you realize, and then agree to be there for each other, even when shit gets hard.”

George and his friends stand from the table, but Brian speaks next. “I know we’re not your fathers, but as men who’ve been around longer than you, maybe trust that we know a thing or two. And if worse comes to worst, consider therapy, gentlemen. It’s life-changing.”

The four of them head for the door, leaving me and my best friends alone.

Our eyes move from one person to the next before Rhonan sighs, breaking the silence. “You and my sister then, huh?”

Nodding, I straighten my spine. “This isn’t just some fling, Rhonan. I’ve been in love with her for a long fucking time.”

He clears his throat. “I know. Laney told me everything.” My pulse picks up.

Laney told me that Rhonan knows about the shit with my dad now, but it still makes me nervous to see his reaction in person.

“Why the fuck didn’t you tell any of us about your dad?

” His eyes bore into mine, even though there’s confusion and hurt on his face.

“Tell us what?” Elliot asks, his animosity from before far less than it was.

Rhonan turns to our other two friends. “Fletcher’s dad used to fucking hit him.”

Hearing those words out loud from someone else feels like a knife slicing through my skin, but demons escaping from the cut this time.

It’s painful and healing.

It’s honest, yet a dark truth that I’ve been carrying alone up until now.

Henley glares at me. “Are you fucking kidding me?”

Elliot shakes his head. “More fucking lies.”

“It’s not lying if you never asked. And besides, I knew you guys wouldn’t have let it go if I had told you.”

“Damn right, we wouldn’t have,” Rhonan says.

“And it would have jeopardized everything I’d been working toward, Rhonan. Do you get that? There would have been investigations. I could have been placed in foster care, might have even had to move.”

“But you told Laney,” he counters.

“I did, but only because I’m a shitty liar and she knew better.”

“But what about the pact?” Rhonan snaps.

“The whole point of the pact was to establish a level of friendship that was strong, a foundation of loyalty. But you know what really makes us strong? The ability to get through shit like this. To admit when we’re fucking struggling, to not hold in stuff because doing so has just made us fucking miserable, and I’m done feeling that way. Laney has helped me see that too.”

“She’s too good for you,” Rhonan says.

“I know.”

“She’s too good for anyone, really,” Elliot adds, shaking his head.

“Don’t have to convince me of that.”

Rhonan sighs, lifting his eyes to meet mine. “But she loves you.”

“Believe me, I’m still trying to wrap my head around it.” I direct my eyes back over to Elliot. “Do you remember that conversation that we had in your office three weeks ago?”

He eyes me curiously. “Vaguely. What about it?”

“You told me that one day I’d find a woman that would make me want to be irrational for the first time in my life, and I did—I just found her at seventeen, Elliot, and it took me this long to figure out what I want.

Did I go about it the honorable way? Not at all.

But was it honest for me and her? Yes, so I don’t regret it.

I followed my fucking heart for once, and it led me to where I’m supposed to be. ”

Elliot lowers his gaze, shaking his head. “Then you’re fucking lucky, because following my heart ended up with mine fucking split in two.”

My chest aches for my friend because I can’t imagine how I would feel if Laney left me like that. But I also know that Laney and I want the same things, and it’s clear that perhaps Elliot and Tori didn’t as much as he thought they did.

Rhonan stares at the green felt on the table before looking back at me.

“I’ve watched my sister avoid relationships for years, watched her pick the wrong guys, give so much of herself to others, and avoid moving on in life because of what happened with our mom.

But this past week? It’s like I got my sister back,” he croaks.

“Fuck, man.” I push a hand through my hair and stare up at the ceiling. “You’re gonna make me fucking cry again. I’ve cried more this past week than I have since your mom died.”

Henley sniffles. “Pansies.”

The door swings open and George pops his head in. “Crying is a good thing, guys. Let it out.”

Rhonan huffs out a laugh. “You’re fucking listening to us?”

“Damn right, I am. I don’t want you four to suffer for the rest of your lives.

You have a chance here to move in the right direction, change the course of your futures, and giving each other shit for crying isn’t going to help that.

If you need to cry, fucking cry.” He tosses his thumb over his shoulder.

“Anthony has a great shoulder for crying on if you need a spare.”

“Jesus Christ, Dad,” Rhonan says, chuckling as George shuts the door again. “What the fuck is going on here?”

“I think your dad is trying to tell us that feeling shit isn’t a bad thing, and I think all of us have been avoiding feelings for a long fucking time,” I say, knowing it’s how I’m interpreting this conversation.

Elliot scoffs. “Speak for yourself.”

Henley looks over at him. “Look, I’m really fucking sorry that Tori walked out on you, but George is right.

” Looking at me and Rhonan, he says, “You’re going to get through this, and we are here for you with whatever you need, but we’re not just saying that this time.

” He looks around the table. “Saying it and doing it are two different things, and I think it’s time our actions back up our words, guys. ”

Elliot mutters, “Yeah? Well, what I need is a goddamn drink.”

“Because alcohol makes everything better,” I reply sarcastically. “Need I remind you of my alcoholic father who used booze to cope, Elliot?”

His bloodshot eyes bore into mine. “I’m not your fucking dad, Fletch. But if I want to numb myself right now, let me.”

Rhonan covers Elliots hand with his own.

“Right now, you do what you need to. But just know, this pain won’t last forever.

” He clears his throat. “Losing Sarah was the worst thing I’ve ever felt, but maybe my dad is right.

I’ve never truly dealt with it. I was too busy trying to take care of my daughter to really understand how much it fucked me up. ”

Henley nods. “I can’t deny that hearing your dad and his friends talk about shit is making me think.”

“I booked an appointment with a therapist yesterday,” I say, pulling the attention of all three of my friends.

“You did?”

“Yeah. I’m fucking tired of letting my relationship with my father affect me as much as it has. Part of the reason I never come home is because of him, but Laney deserves better than that. She deserves a man that isn’t afraid to face his past.”

Henley nods. “Well, that makes a fuck ton more sense now.”

Rhonan stands from his chair and walks over to me. I stand to meet him, pulling him in for an embrace. “I’m fucking sorry, man. I’m sorry for not thinking better of you, for not asking questions when I should have.”

“Thank you.”

“Just promise me that you’ll take care of Laney, all right? I can’t lose her too,” he mutters in my ear. “I promise.”

We release each other and wipe our eyes. “God, I’m done fucking crying too,” he says through a laugh.

I turn to Elliot. “I’m sorry again about Tori, but she doesn’t deserve you, man.”

Elliot scoffs. “Maybe this was all a good thing, makes me remember why I decided against relationships for the longest fucking time. I just need my parents to back the fuck off about it now too.”

“What did they say?”

Elliot rolls his eyes. “My mom was devastated but has been pressuring me to reach out to her. Like that’s going to fucking happen.”

“Do you think if you did though, that it might help?” I ask.

Elliot glares at me. “I never want to see that woman again.”

Henley slaps him on the shoulder. “Then we will support you with that.”

I look around at my friends. “I fucking love you guys, but if there’s one thing I’ve realized over the past few weeks, it’s that being older has not made us wiser.”

Rhonan huffs out a laugh. “You think?”

“I thought by this age, we would have more shit figured out, but there’s still a lot we need to learn—not just about life, but about each other.

I’m sorry that I’ve kept things from you.

I’m sorry that I didn’t feel like I could confide in you or be honest about how I felt about Laney.

But I think I needed to figure out how I felt about those things myself before I could articulate them. ”

Henley nods. “And do you feel that way now?”