Page 28 of All This Time (Blossom Peak #1)

Laney

Benefits and Training Wheels

“You’re alive.” Hazel’s groggy voice says through the phone.

“I am, but are you?” Tucking my leg underneath me, I take a seat on my couch, holding my coffee cup in my hand.

“Just waking up,” she says before she bursts into a fit of giggles.

Sounds of rustling come through, and then a male voice replies. “She’s lying to you, Laney. I just fucked her hard into the mattress and she’s still recovering.”

The reminder of what Fletcher and I did on Friday night hits me hard, followed by the thought I’ve had a thousand times since… What if we’d kept going?

Hazel returns to the line with a groan. “Sorry. Gage doesn’t have a problem with sharing every detail of our lives, apparently.”

“It’s okay… But can I ask you something?”

“Always.”

“How does it feel to be God’s favorite?”

She laughs. “Really fucking good. But enough about me, how’s everything going? It’s been a week since we spoke last and I figured I would have heard from you by now, especially if you needed bail money for the attempted murder of Fletcher Adams.”

Now it’s my turn to laugh. “No bail money necessary, thankfully.”

“So he’s not driving you insane?”

“Oh, he is, but not in the way you’d think.”

“And what way is that?”

I take a deep breath before admitting the truth. “Well…he sort of made me come Friday night. At a bar.”

There’s a loud clatter on her end, followed by Hazel’s voice in full panic. “Oh my God! Sorry, I dropped the phone from shock. What? He made you come? How? Mouth or fingers? Dick?”

Closing my eyes, I visualize that moment again. “Fingers, but that’s not the point.”

“Let me guess…you’re freaking out?”

“Uh, naturally. I mean, the last thing I expected during all this wedding chaos was Fletcher and I crossing that line. I was more worried about not accidentally-on-purpose shoving him into oncoming traffic.”

“Well, how was it?”

I pause for dramatic effect. “I’ve never come that hard in my life,” I admit on a whisper.

Thinking back on how his touch made me feel makes my entire body shiver.

Hazel chuckles. “Nice. But back up. How did we get to the orgasm that rocked your world?” I spend the next several minutes catching Hazel up on everything that has transpired since Fletcher arrived—his appointments at the salon, him hacking into my glucose monitoring app, his feelings about Spencer, and the flirting that kept building until eventually we snapped at the bar.

Hazel lets out a long whistle. “Well, girl. I’d say you have a problem on your hands, but honestly? I don’t think this is a bad thing.”

“You’re joking, right?”

“No, I’m not. Clearly there’s still something between you two and after sampling his talents, I say you enjoy them while he’s there.”

I shake my head, even though she can’t see me. “It feels messy, Hazel, like I’m just going to end up hurt again.”

“Not if you both go into the arrangement knowing that it’s temporary. I mean, you deserve to have some mind-blowing orgasms for a few weeks, Laney. It doesn’t mean you have to marry the guy.”

“Says the woman who married a man first and then got her orgasms.”

“What’s your point?”

“My point is, when you and Gage agreed to get married, you were both on the same page about no feelings too, and then look what happened.” Sighing, I fiddle with the hem of my shirt.

“The thing with Spencer was humiliating, and I don’t think I could handle if things blow up with Fletcher too.

If you hadn’t realized, I sort of have some trust issues now. ”

Hazel hums. “All right. I understand where you’re coming from, but let me ask you this… Do you want him to touch you again?”

I haven’t thought about anything else since I walked away from him that night, eager to find my friends so they wouldn’t start asking questions. Yvonne did, of course, because she was on the dance floor with Fletcher and me, but I told her I went to the bathroom, and she didn’t press me further.

And the texts Fletcher has been sending me aren’t helping me push it from my mind either. I haven’t even responded because I don’t know what to say.

“Well…”

“The fact that you’re hesitating tells me all I need to know.

You want more, so why aren’t you taking advantage of the opportunity?

” Before I can think of how to respond, she speaks again.

“When’s the last time you did something for you, Laney?

When’s the last time you put your needs before anyone else’s?

And when’s the last time you were with a man who could actually make you come? ”

“Okay, I see your point.”

“Good, because if you didn’t, I was contemplating driving over to Blossom Peak to convince you myself.”

“You should anyway because it’s been way too long since we’ve seen each other.”

Hazel sighs. “I know. Gage and I will look at our calendars and pick out some dates for a trip, okay? I promise.”

“Thank you,” I say softly because, even though I still feel uneasy about the brazenness I exhibited the other night, Hazel’s encouragement to do what I want for once instead of overthinking everything—which I’m an expert at doing—is the push I needed to allow myself to want this.

“I’m always here. Good luck and happy humping!”

Laughing, we end the call and then I pick up my coffee again, taking a sip while I swirl this idea around in my brain.

Hazel is right. Fletcher will be gone right after the wedding, and then life will go back to normal.

This could just be one of those spontaneous things I’ll look back on fondly when I’m older and reminiscing about my life.

Sex without feelings. If other women can do it, I should be able to, right?

Just because I haven’t doesn’t mean I’m not capable of it.

And yes, there may be some feelings simmering under the surface where Fletcher is concerned, but maybe I need to focus more on what I’ll be receiving instead of who’s delivering.

Dilynne made a valid point as well—I’ve always wondered what being with Fletcher would be like, and after the taste of it I got Friday night, I’m definitely interested in more.

Orgasms. No feelings. That’s what I need, what I deserve.

I just hope that Fletcher can agree to that too.

***

“I’m gonna let go now,” Rhonan says as he walks alongside Ellis, who’s teetering on her bike without training wheels. They’ve been at this for days, and she’s still having trouble with her balance.

“No, Daddy!” she cries, legs pedaling furiously beneath her.

“You’ve got this, Ellis. Just keep pedaling.”

“No, Daddy…please.” Her voice pitches into panic.

“Ellis…”

She drops her feet to the ground, bringing them both to a halt.

The bike wobbles beneath her and Rhonan reaches out, easing her off the seat as the bike clatters to the asphalt beside them.

Crossing her arms over her chest, she shoots my brother a glare that I might have some firsthand knowledge of—because at this moment, my niece looks alarmingly like me.

“I hate this bike!” she announces with all the conviction of a four-year-old betrayed by the laws of gravity.

“But it has Elsa on it,” my brother counters.

Ellis steps over the bike and stomps off. “I don’t care. I want my training wheels back!”

From his perch in the garage, my father stifles his laughter behind his hand. As Ellis walks past him and into the house, he arches a brow at my brother. “You’ve pissed her off good this time.”

It’s Sunday night and the four of us are having dinner together at Rhonan’s house. We try to get together at least once a week, but sometimes our schedules don’t allow for it. Tonight, Rhonan hoped having us here would encourage Ellis to give riding her bike without training wheels another try.

Rhonan pushes a hand through his hair as he walks back up the driveway. “She’s the one who wanted the training wheels off. Some kid at preschool was making fun of her, so she insisted I remove them. Now I’m the asshole.”

“She’s just struggling with her balance,” I interject. “She’s still little, Rhonan. Give her time.”

He shrugs. “Yeah… Joanne said she’d give it a try with her when she comes back tomorrow.”

“I wish her luck,” my father says.

My brother snaps his fingers, turning to me. “That reminds me, do you mind looking after Ellis Friday night? Joanne’s niece is in a play in Charlotte, so she asked for the night off. She’ll be back Saturday for the bachelor and bachelorette party, though.”

Shit. I forgot all about the party Fletcher and I have yet to plan.

Well, someone has been keeping you rather distracted lately, Laney.

I mentally think over my schedule, wondering when I’m going to fit planning a party in there. But I’ve made lemonade out of lemons before, so I’m not too stressed about it. “Yeah, that should be fine.”

“Thanks. It’ll be a sleepover since I’m working the night shift.”

“Not a problem. We’ll have a movie night.”

My father clears his throat. “You haven’t forgotten about yoga at the winery on Tuesday, have you?”

“No, Dad. I’ll be there.”

He cranes his neck from side to side. “Good, because there’s no way I can do that stuff. I’ll end up with a broken hip.”

Laughter bubbles out of me. “You act like you’re eighty.”

“Some days I feel like it, Laney. But nonetheless, fifty-seven is still a risky age.”

“I heard yoga-related injuries are on the rise too,” Rhonan interjects sarcastically.

“Then how about you put on some spandex and join the fun?” my father chides.

Rhonan tsks as he shakes his head. “No can do. Sheriff duty calls.”

My father glares at him. “How convenient.”

“Oh stop, you two. You know if Mom were here, she’d make you both participate, video tape it, and then keep it for blackmail if need be.”

My father’s mouth spreads into a wistful smile. “Sounds about right.” But as his smile fades, melancholy rests between us, reminding us of her absence even though we’re all aware of it every minute of every day.

Even after all these years, grief still sneaks up on us when we least expect it. It’s not sharp like it used to be, but it’s always under the surface, flaring up in moments like this.

“Daddy?” Ellis comes back into the garage, still wearing her bike helmet.

“Yes, sweet pea?”

“Can I have cavities?”

My father and I share a look.

“Cavities?” I ask.

Rhonan sighs. “I made the mistake of telling her that candy gives her cavities, so now that’s what she calls it.” He clears his throat while walking up to his daughter. “Only two pieces.”

“But I want five.”

“Well, then you need to get back on the Elsa bike and try riding again.”

“Bribery? Really?” I mutter out of the side of my mouth.

My father shoves his hands in his pockets while shrugging. “Until you’ve had kids, you can’t judge, Laney. You and your brother would do some crazy things for sugar.”

The dull ache that rests in my chest from the reminder that I’m nowhere near close to being a mom finds its way right to the center.

Fooling around with Fletcher might feel good in the moment, but it’s not going to get me closer to the life that I want. Am I stupid for wasting time on him when I could be investing time in a man that I can actually see a future with?

I still haven’t responded to his texts. Maybe I’m entirely too na?ve to think that enjoying a physical relationship is going to help solve this lull I’ve found myself settling into.

Ellis tips her head back and groans. “Fine.”

My brother turns to me, a pleased smile on his face. “See?” he mouths to me.

As I watch him attempt to get his daughter to ride her bike again without falling, I mentally go back through my schedule for the week.

Late client on Monday. Yoga at the winery on Tuesday. Wednesday is open because that’s usually when Dilynne and I have dinner together. Late night at the salon again on Thursday. Babysitting Ellis for Rhonan on Friday. Bachelor party on Saturday for Elliot and Tori.

And that’s when it hits me.

My whole life revolves around other people—what they need and how I can be of service to them.

Hazel is right.

I deserve a few orgasms, especially from a man who’s eager to give them to me. And two weeks is not going to make or break my future. I just hope I can keep my feelings out of it.