Page 49 of All This Time (Blossom Peak #1)

“I told him not to.” Fighting my grin, I turn to my best friend and shrug.

“You’d just better hope that your brother doesn’t see it, or better yet, that it fades before the wedding.”

“I think I’ll be okay, but just to be on the safe side, I should probably try to find a dress that covers my collarbone.”

It’s Tuesday morning, and Dilynne and I are on our way into Charlotte to find my bridesmaid’s dress.

There are more shops and options in the city, and the two-hour drive gives us plenty of time to catch up after this weekend.

Plus, it’s good practice for me to see just how grueling this drive will be if I start making it regularly to see Fletcher.

“Well, given the state of your skin and the smile that hasn’t left your face, I take it your weekend went well?”

I sigh as I turn onto the highway. “It did, but I’m also confused.”

“Talk to me then. We have two hours to kill, and I need to make sure you’re not just thinking with your clit here.”

“What?” I ask through a laugh.

“Guys think with their dicks, girls think with our clits. It’s an equivalent metaphor.”

“Well, my clit is more than satisfied, but Fletcher brought up something this weekend that my clit, unfortunately, can’t decide for me.”

“Elaborate.”

For the next twenty minutes, I recount the admission from Fletcher, his declaration of how he feels, and his request to make a relationship work between us after this wedding.

“Well, where’s your head at, Laney?” Dilynne asks when I finish.

“I—I honestly don’t know. What he said? It was everything I’ve ever wanted to hear from him, but things are much more complicated now than they were back then. He lives in Charlotte, I live in Blossom Peak. His career is there, and my business is at home.”

“Charlotte is only a two-hour drive. I mean, we’re making it right now for a freaking dress.” Dilynne smacks her gum as she reaches forward and skips the song on my playlist.

“True, but it’s not just the distance. Being with Fletcher means being under a microscope. The entire world will know who I am. And then there’s Rhonan to consider.”

“What about Rhonan?”

I blow out a breath. “I’m not sure how he would feel about me dating one of his friends. We never really talked about that growing up, but I think it’s because he never thought I’d want to date Fletcher, Henley, or Elliot.”

Dilynne scoffs. “First of all, neither of us is desperate enough to date Elliot.”

I laugh. “By the way, the cake?”

Dilynne smiles proudly. “Seeing Tori’s reaction to her face on a freaking testicle was worth every penny.”

“I think you’re enjoying getting them both riled up a little too much.”

“Elliot is a given, but now that I can mess with his fiancée too? Well, that’s just icing on the cake, pun intended.”

“Anyway,” I say, rolling my eyes. “There’s so much to consider when it comes to what a life would be like with Fletcher. And I can’t help but wonder what my mom would think.”

I miss being able to talk to her about things like this, the difficult moments in life that feel like huge ones, the kind of decisions that will change the course of my life moving forward.

“She loved Fletcher.”

“Yeah, but when he was just Rhonan’s friend. Not sure how she’d feel knowing he had feelings for her only daughter.”

“Back then? She probably wouldn’t have been thrilled and would have definitely put a stop to him sneaking into your room at night if she knew.

” Nervous laughter pours out of me. “But now, I can just hear your mom saying that she’d be thrilled as long as you were happy.

Remember when she used to tell us that the most important thing to look for in a man was how he made us feel about ourselves?

” I nod, growing emotional from Dilynne’s own memories of my mother.

“That it wasn’t about his looks, his job, the money he made, or how many friends he had…

It was all about how he made us feel—like we could be ourselves and he wouldn’t try to change us, that he would encourage us to chase our dreams, even as they changed, that no matter how hard things got, he always treated us with respect. ”

“God, I miss her,” I croak out as tears fall from my eyes.

Dilynne squeezes my hand. “I miss her too, Laney. She was like my mom too, you know?”

“I do.” Dilynne and Henley’s upbringing was more than chaotic, but my parents always kept a safe space for her and her brother in our home.

My best friend swipes under her eyes now. “Fuck, okay. New topic, please. I did not plan on crying today, so I didn’t wear my waterproof mascara.”

“You plan for tears?”

“I have to. Can’t risk a streak ruining my image.”

***

Dilynne motions for me to spin around. “Yup. That’s the winner. Your ass looks amazing.”

I stare at my reflection in the mirror, twisting so I can see the same view of my rear as Dilynne. “You don’t think it’s too sexy?”

The dress I’m currently wearing and contemplating for Elliot’s wedding does not, in fact, cover up the hickey that Fletcher gave me.

But with the way this dress fits my body, I know for certain that when he sees me, he’ll be itching to get me out of it.

Blush satin clings to my curves with a halter style neckline, highlighting my shoulders and the dip in my waist, and Dilynne’s right—my ass looks amazing.

The dress is simple, yet sexy and classic.

It’s exactly what I would pick for the bridesmaids in my wedding.

My eyes drift over to the racks of bridal gowns on the far side of the shop, taunting me with their sparkles and lace. Dilynne walks over to where I’m standing on the pedestal and grips my shoulders.

“You know, while we’re here…there’s no harm in trying a few of those on.”

I bite my bottom lip. “I’m not even getting married.”

“But you will someday.”

“I had my chance, remember?”

Dilynne spins me to face her. “That’s the thing about chances—sometimes you get more than one.

And I know for a fact, that they don’t come along again for no reason.

” Her brow lifts before she continues. “You’re my best friend, Laney, and for as long as I can remember, you’ve had feelings for that man.

Now, you know he wants you too. Stop overthinking it.

Stop second-guessing, I’m begging you. Jump in headfirst for once in your life. ”

“But what if I drown?”

“Then I’ll rescue you. I’m an awesome swimmer, remember?” She winks at me. “But if you don’t at least try, you’re always going to wonder what if.”

“This was just supposed to be about orgasms.”

Dilynne rolls her eyes. “You and I both know that was bullshit. There has never been anything casual between you and Fletcher Adams.”

This is what love is supposed to feel like, isn’t it? Fear mixed with euphoria, comfort, and longing—like no amount of time with them would ever be enough, but you’re deathly afraid that your time will be cut short anyway?

My mom’s death has made me afraid to truly put myself out there and open my heart because losing her was the worst pain I’ve ever felt, and I never wanted to feel that way ever again.

But now I’m realizing that I haven’t truly been living. I’ve been staying still, playing it safe, and picking men that don’t have the potential to hurt me, like Spencer.

“I guess I just can’t believe all of this is happening,” I whisper. “I’m so afraid something is going to ruin it again.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well, the last time I got the nerve to tell Fletcher how I felt, my mom died, Dilynne.” My throat grows tight.

“What if Fletcher and I are cursed? What if something happens when we tell Rhonan, or what if we’re just not meant to be together and we’re tempting fate by trying?

I mean, he plays for the NFL, for crying out loud.

Being with him means my life will change forever.

How in the hell is this supposed to work? ”

“Breathe, Laney,” Dilynne says, reaching for my hands and holding them to her chest as reality finally hits me.

Something about those wedding gowns triggered me, and now I’m having trouble breathing.

“Take some deep breaths.” With my eyes locked on hers, I focus on inhaling and exhaling until I feel like the panic attack that was brewing is starting to subside.

“First of all, you’re not cursed. Your mom’s death was a terrible tragedy, something that no one could have seen coming, which means there’s no way it could have been connected.

And second, you’re getting a little ahead of yourself.

I know it’s hard for you not to think about the future, but I was just joking about the wedding dresses.

Your anxiety is in full force right now, so I need you to try to take a page out of my don’t-give-a-fuck attitude and live in the moment. ”

“I’m trying. It’s just hard.”

“I know it is. That night changed you in more ways than one, honey. And I’ve watched you cut yourself off from things that bring you joy, be afraid to live because that might mean that you’re making your life count even though your mom’s life ended early, and avoid relationships because you were convinced that other men would reject you like Fletcher did. ”

“Did you earn a degree in psychology that I never knew about?” I ask, only half joking.

“Hell no. But I’ve been through enough shit and watched enough reality television to recognize avoidance issues in other people.”

“This isn’t some TV show though, Dilynne. This is my life.”

“It is, but is he worth sacrificing what you’ve always known?”

I don’t even have to think about it. “Yes,” I say.

“Then you’ve got this. Get through Elliot’s wedding and then get ready to become Mrs. Laney Adams one day like you’ve always wanted.”

“He’s the only man I’ve ever envisioned walking down an aisle toward,” I admit. “I couldn’t even picture myself marrying Spencer.”