Page 130 of Agency

Better me than them. Better my blackened soul being marred by one final assassination.

A cool autumn wind blew through the resort, rustling the leaves still on the branches and sending one last whisper drifting to my ears: “What about their choice, though?”

Taking a deep breath, I froze, locked in my own reflected gaze. I knew what their choice would be. They’d already made that clear by driving all the way across the Midwest, and back.

Feeling zero confidence in my decision, I managed to break away from my reflection and unlock the Escalade with a soft beep and flash of yellow driving lights. I opened the rear door. The interior dome light was already turned off, and I lowered the carbine from my shoulder and lay the weapon in across the floor boards, along with the extra ammunition I’d taken.

Knowing I’d turn back if I looked to the cabin, I kept my head down as I went to open the driver’s side door.

“Not even going to say goodbye?” called a deep, gravelly voice as my hand landed on the door handle.

Jericho.

My heart thudded and tried to play my ribs like a xylophone as I looked to the cabin, my hand still ready to open the door. I looked to all three of them, standing there in the darkness of the cabin’s front patio. Their features were hidden from what little light there was, as if they were already drifting away into memory.

I couldn’t say how long they’d been outside, but, as I stood practically paralyzed, none of them moved either. None of them came to stop me, or grab me, or drag me kicking and screaming back to the cabin.

“We know it’s dangerous,” Andrew said, his voice softer than Jericho’s, so soft that his words might have been whispering leaves. “We’re going in prepared, though, and knowing the risks.”

Wincing, I felt nauseous as my stomach somersaulted and my heart dropped to join in the acrobatics.

“Four of us stand a hell of a lot better chance than just one of you, babe,” Morgan said, a little louder than Andrew had been. “We don’t know what’s on the other side of that lake. None of us do. But what you’re doing might be suicide.”

I licked dry lips, tried to look away. The tears were at the back of my eyes now. I couldn’t look at my men, I knew. If I did, I’d just start crying, and that wasn’t a good look for a contract killer, former or not.

“And, I know,” Jericho said, “you’re probably thinking that what you’re asking us to do might be suicide, also, and you might even be right. But we volunteered, Ambyr. You’re not ordering us to do anything. This is all of our own free will.”

I swallowed hard as I blinked, trying to keep the tears back.

“But what you’re doing,” Morgan said, “is taking away that free will. You’re taking away our agency in this whole thing. That’s what this is about.”

A tear escaped, and its warmth ran down my cheek for a heartbeat, before turning cool and clammy in the fall air.

“Put yourself in our shoes for a moment.” Andrew now, still not moving from the porch. “Can you imagine what it would feel like if you’d woken up on the couch, and we’d all left without you? We understand, this is your life. You’re the one on the run from these people, and you need to become your own person, now. But don’t take away from us what you’re trying to get back.”

Now, I did turn my face away. The tears were coming more freely. Because my aunt was right… I needed them. I really did. But, the solution for Management wasn’t the “right way” Jericho demanded.

“Come inside, Ambyr,” Jericho grumbled, now stepping down off the porch and coming over to me. “It’s cold as fuck out here.”

A sob broke from me as Jericho wrapped me up in his warm arms, and he kissed the top of my head as he squeezed me tighter to his chest. Another sob wracked my body, and more feet were stepping through the leaves, and four more arms were holding me in their strong embrace.

“Hey hey hey,” Andrew said. “It’s okay. What’re you crying for?”

“Yeah,” Morgan said, kissing the back of my head. “What’s wrong? You didn’t actually leave, or anything.”

“Aunt Val,” I groaned. “She… She told me what I needed to do when I got to Management. That there was more than just wiping the servers and maybe getting rid of files…”

My words fell off into a silence, one broken only by a lonesome gust of wind.

“She wants you to kill him, right?” Jericho asked, breaking the long moment as his arms loosened from around me.

Swallowing hard, I leaned back and looked up at him.

The older man’s eyes shone in the dim light like two flaming beacons out in the wilderness, the twin crackling tongues of fire containing promises of both heat and anger. Now was not the time to lie, or dissemble.

I nodded, my cheeks flushing from embarrassment at the tears coating them.

“Yeah. Well.” That vein on his forehead was standing out, and there was murder in his eyes now as he spoke through clenched teeth. “Only if we don’t first.”