Page 44 of Afternoon Delight

Meg

When I left for the shop on Monday morning, Mom was letting Shelby load Dad’s clothes into her car so she could take them to a thrift store in Langford. It was a “good” one, Mom had said.

I felt happy-sad about it. It was a big step for Mom, and I was glad Shelby was there as an extra emotional cushion.

Mom loved me, and I loved her, but we had this weird dynamic that had developed when she’d been consumed with Dad and his illness.

She’d been shattered, and I’d taken control.

I’d become her support, and I thought that’s how it would stay.

Eventually, every child becomes their parent’s parent, right? Look at Zak and Zara with Dale.

But Mom was rallying, and, I was beginning to see that she’d been trying to support me through my divorce. I’d shut her out, afraid she’d talk me into staying with Joel.

All of that made me appreciate the balance Shelby and I were enjoying. The relationship between Shelby and Mom was even better. Grandma wanted to give her granddaughter whatever she wanted. Put the clothes in the car? Okay, honeybunch.

Still, I felt a little guilty leaving the wrangling of Mom to my kids.

I’d come to Victoria to help Mom with the difficult task of downsizing, but I seemed to spend all my time at Afternoon Delight.

At least the workshop seemed to be working.

Two women from the perimenopause meeting on Saturday came in, looking for lube.

One stuck around to browse the books and ended up adding one to her purchases.

I finally heard back from my contact on senior sexuality, too. They had some names and numbers for caregiver support groups. I forwarded that to Zak and reached out to one that also offered grief support, thinking Mom might find it helpful.

Zak texted when it was getting close to lunch.

Coffee?

And split a sandwich?

I watched him come back across the street a few minutes later with a tray of four cups and a takeout bag. He went into Twice is Nice first, which made me curious.

“Zara’s here with my aunt,” he said when he came into my shop.

“Dad’s sister. She hasn’t seen him in months and needs to know what we’re up against. Zara kicked me out for the afternoon.

Told me to take a hike, literally, but I thought I’d come say hi first. Hi.

” He dropped a kiss on me that was light, but lingered like the finish of a good wine.

“Hi.”

“Any chance you can take a hike with me?”

“I prefer rappelling, as you know. Missed opportunity. You’re losing your touch.”

“Low blood sugar,” he excused. “I actually got you your own sandwich. I’m hungry enough for a whole one.” He sat down on the stool and started to unwrap his turkey with cranberry. His phone dinged. He glanced at it. “Your kid is killing me today.”

“Which one?”

“Right. That’s another reason I wanted to see you. I was hoping to meet your daughter. This is Rod.” He scrolled his screen. “‘Can I play the dead grandfather card when I sell his stuff?’” Zak read aloud. “Yes. Of course.”

“Of course,” I agreed wryly.

“He sent me some photos, and I gave him some ballpark prices to ask.” His thumb moved across the screen.

“Then I helped him punch up his pitch. ‘After losing her husband of forty years, Grandma has to let go of Grandpa’s favorite gear. He loved to fish on his days off. He always had the biggest fish stories, like the time he caught one that was being eaten by another.’”

“That’s actually true. At least, it’s true he told that story every chance he got. Maybe it was a fish tale.”

“Doesn’t matter. That’s not even the good part.” Zak continued quoting. “‘I miss Grandpa every day and really want his rods and flies to go to someone who will love them as much as he did. I don’t know how much to ask, but maybe two hundred for each rod and another hundred for the box of flies?’”

“What are they worth?”

“Not that. The whole works is maybe worth four hundred. I bet he gets at least six. Kid’s a natural. He wanted to post all your dad’s tools, but I sent Kyle over. Apprentices are always breaking or losing their own. He likes to have spares on hand.”

“Thanks, big guy. That’s a huge help.”

He shrugged it off. “I dread the day we have to do that with Dad’s stuff. His house is still full of Mom’s things. I keep thinking I should start sorting through it, but?—”

“Zak. You’re doing enough.”

He bit into his sandwich and chewed, nodding, but he seemed glum.

“Hey. I could have started on the garage at Mom’s yesterday. I played hooky with you instead. I don’t feel guilty. It’s okay to take time for self-care.”

“Is that what we’re calling it?” His expression brightened. “When can we self-care again?”

“I don’t know. The shop is pretty quiet. I could put a note on the door.” I was only half-joking.

“Yeah?” He started to shove his sandwich back into its paper bag and stood. “Can we try the swing?”

“That is a suspension bridge too far,” I said with a chuckle. “But I like your enthusiasm.” I found the pad of Post-it notes and wrote, Back in five.

“Also, given your history, we could wind up having to call the fire department.” He crowded me against the desk. His hand found my waist. “Maybe we should pre-order the jaws of life.”

There was a flicker of light at the window. I glanced over to see Shelby cupping her face against the glass to look at the display.

“Oh.” Guilt dropped into my belly like a stone. I stepped away from Zak. “Good news. Shelby’s here.”

“Oh.” His mouth kicked sideways in a rueful grin. “Is this going to be awk?—”

“Mom?” The door jangled, and she appeared from behind the shelf.

“Hi,” I said in a voice that was an octave too cheerful.

“Thanks for this,” Zak said as he whipped the note off the Post-it pad. “I’ll call them later.” He folded it and stuck it in his shirt pocket, then thrust out his hand to Shelby. “Judging from the resemblance to Meg and Vickie, you must be Shelby. I’m Zak.”

“Hi.” She gave him a thorough, curious look, her gaze flickering between us as she read the undercurrents. “I was going to ask if you wanted me to get you a sandwich, but it looks like you have one.”

“I do, but I can share.” I reached for the bag I hadn’t yet touched. “Zak was telling me he’s helping Roddie sell Grandpa’s fishing gear by brazenly tugging on heartstrings.”

“Cast a line and reel ’em in.” Zak threw an imaginary line into water and rolled his wrist.

“Grandma finally called that guy who gave her his number for Grandpa’s car.”

“Really?” My eyebrows nearly escaped my forehead.

“She said three cars in the driveway looks like she’s running a hostel. She wants to park in the garage. Also, I found some boxes of taxes and stuff that are from before I was born. I said I’d take those to the shredder.”

“You’re a lifesaver.” I gave her half my sandwich and pointed at the stool.

Shelby made herself comfortable and turned her attention to Zak. “Roddie said you live in Vancouver?”

“I’ve been there since I left for BCIT, yeah.” He didn’t so much as blink at the fact he was facing an interrogation. “My dad and sister are here, though, so Victoria has always felt like home.”

“Zak is a tech bro,” I stage-whispered.

“I prefer ‘brogrammer,’” Zak said with a curl of his lip.

“Meaning you’re used to being surrounded by dicks? Is that why this isn’t weird for you?” Shelby nodded at the shelf of dildos and vibrators next to where he stood.

Zak snapped a look at me. “I like her. Which doesn’t surprise me.

” He took a bite of his sandwich and motioned while he chewed and swallowed.

“Roddie cracks me up. He said he wants to hide in the wardrobe so the next time Dad runs his magician spiel on a customer, he can pop out and claim he’s the magician and that he’s been stuck in there for years. Best coming-out story ever, he said.”

“Oh, Rod.” I couldn’t help laughing while Shelby covered her mouth so she wouldn’t lose the bite of sandwich she’d just taken.

Zak finished his and chased it with a gulp of coffee.

“I know I should offer to help take boxes to the shredder or whatever, but I think I’ll go home for a nap, then—I don’t know—get the oil changed on the car? I’m not sure what to do with a day off. I haven’t had a real one in a long time.”

“When I had a break from helping Mom with Dad, I used to drive out to Sooke and have lunch at the pub. It’s long enough to clear your head, but close enough you can be back quickly if you have to.”

“Maybe.” He nodded. “Thanks. Good to meet you, Shelby. I’m sure I’ll see more of you later this week. If you guys need the van for anything...”

“We’ll figure it out. Go,” I insisted. “Take a break. You need it.”

“Yeah. Going.” He took his coffee and left.

Shelby turned wide eyes on me. “Rod told me he’s hot, but he’s hot .”

“He’s cute,” I agreed, setting down my sandwich to flip a record in the credenza.

“Cute? Mom. I saw you guys through the window. What’s going on between you?”

“Nothing.” That was a blatant lie, considering where Zak’s face had been yesterday. “I like him,” I conceded as Carole King started crooning You’ve Got a Friend. “But we both have a lot going on. And he’s too young for me.”

“Oh, is he still in high school? Is that why him and Roddie are friends?”

“I mean life stages.” I came back for my sandwich. “He’ll want kids, and I am not starting over.”

“Are you sure of that? Have you asked him?”

I thought of Zak’s wistful What if when he had talked about Roddie.

“Whether he does or doesn’t isn’t the point.

We’ve both got a lot going on. I don’t live here.

Your dad is putting up with Roddie being here because it’s only a semester and they’ve got a new baby.

Eventually, he’ll want Roddie living in the same city, if not in their house.

I’ve already spent too much time here. If Roddie’s in Toronto, I need to be there for him. ”

“Mom.” A mix of perplexity and scoff flickered across her face.

“What?” I braced myself.

Her mouth opened, shut, then she gusted out a breath that gave up any attempt at being careful.

“Grandpa was sick. You had to be here. We know that. We came out and saw him and we know how awful and hard it was for Grandma. And for you.” She waved emphatically at me.

“We never thought, ‘Oh, Mom’s forgotten all about us.’ Maybe you weren’t there, but you always answered if we called.

You checked in all the time and you always knew what was going on with us. You know who wasn’t there? Dad .”

I made a strangled noise, but Shelby wasn’t finished.

“I mean, I love him and everything.” She rolled her eyes.

“He gives me money if I need it and says, ‘Good job,’ or whatever when I get an A. But Roddie and I don’t talk to him about anything important.

Roddie didn’t want to come out to Dad at all.

He thought if you were there it would be okay, but he also thought you had enough to deal with, so he put it off. ”

“I didn’t know that.” My heart sank. “Now I feel like shit for making him hold onto it.”

“Same here,” she said, surprising me. “I felt awful when I left for school because you were still helping Grandma and started going into work again, and Dad kept going away on his ‘conferences.’” She put bunny ears around that word.

Yeah, I had known about Wanda before I really acknowledged that I knew.

“But you and Roddie told me to go, so I did. Then Wanda got pregnant, so Dad had to tell you about her and you left. Roddie stayed with Dad because of school and everything, but when I asked him why he came here to stay with you, he said, ‘I honestly thought that if you and Mom weren’t there, Dad would notice me and act like a parent, but he never will.’ Dad’s a complete dick to Wanda.

He doesn’t do anything for Freddie. So, like, we both want a relationship with our baby brother, but if Dad wants a relationship with us, he could start acting like it. ”

I ran my tongue over my teeth, considering how to react. I don’t trash-talk Joel to the kids, but I don’t lie to them, either. I wasn’t prepared to defend him when he was reaping what he’d sown.

“Anyway, we know you’re here for us,” Shelby said, tone easing.

“We’ve never felt like you weren’t. So don’t move back to Toronto because Dad expects it.

Ask Roddie if that’s what he wants. And, like, post a photo of you and Zak so Dad sees it.

Preferably with that wall of dildos behind you.

How do you work here every day, staring at those things? ”

“They’re like cans of soup.”

“Size-wise or...?”

“You’re dying to look around, aren’t you? Go for it.” I waved in invitation.

“I had to wait for your secret boyfriend to leave, didn’t I?” She brushed past me and began to explore.