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LENNY

My wrists ached as I rubbed at them, the blanket still wrapped around my shoulders. It was hard not to dissociate, not when every piece of me wanted to give in to the shock, to let myself slowly slip away into oblivion.

But that wasn’t an option.

Pick yourself back up.

I kept repeating it, over and over. That was exactly what I planned to do: pick myself back up from the low I found myself in and push on, a newly forged person. This summer taught me one thing: I was stronger than I ever imagined.

I watched from the back of the ambulance as Stone talked to his supervisory agent at the other one. Everything felt numb. I’d watched my best friend die in front of me. The man I was beginning to love saved me. I knew she deserved it, but it still hurt.

“Your blood pressure is slightly high, but I think it’s the adrenaline rush,” the woman checking me over said. “You’ll have to take care of those marks on your wrists from the restraints. Keep them clean and bandaged to stave off infection. If anything starts to hurt more or look worse, go to the hospital.”

“Thanks,” I murmured.

It was the first thing I could bring myself to really say.

Everything inside ached for Stone to come back. It was like piece of me was missing. My body felt on edge, and I tried to catch his eye.

After a few minutes of him speaking to the other agents, he turned and met my gaze.

His face softened, and he limped toward me.

I knew everything he’d done was to protect me, and I was forever grateful for that. There was nothing I could do or say to repay him for saving my life.

“Are you hurt at all?”

I noticed the way he didn’t ask if I was alright. He knew the answer—I wasn’t.

“No,” I said. “Just elevated blood pressure.”

“Just make sure to take it easy for a while,” he said, looking like he didn’t believe me.

I didn’t know what he thought he would find. Was he expecting to see some wound everyone had missed?

“I promise, I’m not hurt,” I assured him.

I knew this brought him back to everything with Blythe, and my heart ached to put him in that position. I wasn’t her, and I hadn’t been hurt, but I knew it was almost impossible for him to believe.

“What about you?” I asked, glancing at the fresh bandage on his leg.

“I’m lucky,” he said. “Just a graze wound. Turns out, she had terrible aim.”

He tried to laugh softly, but it barely came out.

The shakes were starting to subside, and I was able to stand finally.

My feet hit the ground, and Stone immediately held my arms to help steady me. He wrapped a firm arm around my waist, and I felt his muscles tighten slightly as he hugged me to his chest.

“I’m glad you’re okay,” he said.

“I’m alive because of you,” I said.

“You had just as much a part in that as I did,” he pointed out.

I shook my head. All I had done was distract Mallory enough for them to stop her. Another wave of nausea rushed over me, realizing I had a hand in her death.

Stone tensed, realizing his mistake. “None of this is your fault,” he assured me. “I know no matter how many times I say that, it may not help, but you need to hear it.”

I nodded, trying to convince myself but knowing I needed more time.

“Maybe someday,” I whispered against him.

There were a few seconds of silence before I worked up the courage to ask my next question. The answer was going to crush me, but I forced myself to look Stone in the eyes and ask anyway.

“Are you leaving again?” I asked.

He nodded. “Grey says I still have a job if I want it.”

Part of me had hoped when I saw him again, it meant he came back for good. I knew it was unfair to tie Stone to Briarport or me. There was so much I still wanted to see, and after everything that happened, deep down, I knew I couldn’t stay in the small town either.

Stone saw it on my face and pulled me in, holding me to his chest.

“Where will you go?” he asked.

“I have a small bit of savings set aside,” I answered. “I want to see the rest of the world. It’s something Jake never let me do, and now that I’m finally free of the Coastal Killer, there’s nothing stopping me.”

“You deserve it,” he said. “I’ll be waiting the second you get back.”

I choked on a sob, melting into Stone. I’d wanted to make things work at the museum, but this town was full of painful memories. I could always come back to visit Calvin, but staying would only hurt more. I needed to see the world, to figure out who I was.

“Lenny,” Stone said, using a hand to tilt my chin up toward him. “Go live your life. There’s nothing weighing on you here anymore.”

I nodded, trying to hold back more tears.

The weight of everything hit me at once. Having to let go of Stone again. Mallory trying to kill me and killing herself. The truth that I wasn’t strong enough to stay and face it all.

“I just can’t be here,” I said. “It’s too much.”

“Admitting that takes more strength than most people have,“ Stone said.

I nuzzled my head back into his chest as his strong hands gently stroked the back of my head.

“What if it’s too late when I come back? What if you’ve moved on?” I dared to ask.

“It will never be too late,” he started. “I would wait a million lifetimes for you.”