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STONE

“I’m sorry you got nothing from my memory of the night,” Len said, sitting on the couch.

I’d waited until she was stable enough to walk and then helped her back to my rental. She was still shaking by the time I helped her to the couch, and my stomach sank knowing I was the reason why. I never should’ve pushed her.

“That’s not true,” I said.

“It is. I panicked, and I cut us short. I should’ve pushed harder.”

“That would have done neither of us any good, Lenny,” I assured her. I needed to diffuse the situation, fast.I’d learned basics of diffusing a bomb, talking down a gunman from pulling the trigger, working through hostage negotiations, but no book or instruction manual ever told me how to solve this.

“Len, you gave us more information than we had. No one knew the Coastal Killer was using drugs to subdue their victims.”

“Wouldn’t the morgue have found that in their assessments?” Len said, glancing up with her big brown eyes.

God, I loved the way she looked at me. So intuitive; she really would make a great agent. Maybe I wasn’t entirely messing things up.

“Exactly, which tells us…” I pushed.

“That it was a substance not detectable in the normal toxicology screen?” she asked, catching on quickly.

“Yes, which gives us more information than the FBI or sheriff had three years ago. That is not nothing,” I promised.

Her entire body still trembled, adrenaline and painful memories still rushing through her. I sat down beside her, hoping to find a way to stop it. This wasn’t like my field assignments; I couldn’t apply any of that knowledge to this.

I had to improvise.

The last time I improvised, someone was killed.

This wasn’t that, not even close. I took a deep breath. What calmed me when I felt like losing control? For a while, that was alcohol and drugs to numb the pain, but eventually, I’d stopped. I turned to books. When I felt the world crumbling around me, life no longer making sense, I threw myself into books and learned everything I possibly could.

I picked up my most recent read off the side table and opened it—tales of Greek mythology, some of my favorites, all under one cover.

The story of Perseus and Medusa was the first I opened to. Len was twiddling with rings on her fingers but stopped the moment she heard my voice.

I started reading, all too aware of her keen focus on me. Usually, I read in private, enjoying my time alone with the stories and information I consumed, but I didn’t mind sharing this with Len.

My arm outstretched without thinking to pull her closer. Without looking up, I knew she was watching me, rather than the book in my hands, taking in every word from my mouth.

“I love this story,” I murmured, pausing as I turned the page.

“Why?” Len asked. Her head fell to my shoulder, and I felt the warmth of her skin against my exposed arm.

“Because Perseus never choose to be a hero out of ambition or chasing glory. He was trapped into an impossible situation. No matter what, though, he persevered. He fought against the impossible and came out on top. He’s a lot like you,” I finished.

She laughed.“I’m a coward,” she scoffed. “I’m no hero out of Greek mythology.”

“I’m serious. I know you didn’t choose this,” I started. “But everything you have done has brought us one step closer to finding justice for those victims. That to me, Lenny Calder, is bravery.”

I could feel her shaking subsiding the longer she leaned in to me. My own heart rate slowed, the anxiety of not knowing how to fix the situation slowly fading.

I did the one thing I knew best.

Reading.

Books were always a welcomed distraction. It didn’t matter what it was—I would read it. The classics were my comfort, but I would never turn down the opportunity to learn more. It was like an addiction, but one I could at least justify.

And Lenny absorbed every single word of the story. We sat like that for what felt like forever, me reading as her body melted further against me. Eventually, I found her trying to adjust to get more comfortable.

“Lay down,” I instructed.

“What?” she asked, her cheeks warming and her eyes avoiding mine.

“Rest,” I instructed. “It’s been a long day.”

Nothing more. Just rest.

She slowly sank into the couch, kicking her feet up and laying down. My lap became her pillow, and her warm brown curls spilled over my legs. I held the book with one hand and let my other fall to her head, stroking her hair gently, careful not to mess up each curl.

Each page I turned, I glimpsed down to check on her. Minutes turned to an hour, and soon, her eyes were fluttering shut. I kept going with multiple stories of heroes and goddesses, all with a new lesson learned.

Alonzo and Birdie joined us on the couch, curling around their owner.

“Sneaky felines,” I whispered at them.

Alonzo moved himself closer to me, snuggling right up against my leg.

“You win this time,” I said, and I swore, Len smiled.

I couldn’t help it; my body reacted before I could even think it through. My free hand moved to grab her hand, pulling it up to my lips. I pressed a light kiss to the back of her hand, thankful she was here and safe.

“I heard them,” she whispered. “I can’t exactly remember, but I know I heard them,” she murmured as she drifted off in my lap.

“Try not to think about that,” I whispered as I went back to stroking her hair.

I continued my reading as she fell asleep. I knew the moment she was no longer awake, recognizing the deeper breaths she took and the way her head felt heavier in my lap. The cats eventually left us, but I refused to leave the couch.

I refused to take my eyes off Len until I knew she was alright. I’d pushed her to her limit, and everything in me hated me for it. The pale look on her face when I’d pulled her into my arms outside the pub would haunt me forever.

No matter how many times I told myself I was only doing this to solve the case for the FBI, it was a lie, one that was growing out of hand. I stayed for her. I continued to let her help me and piece together this case because my mind couldn’t stand the thought of sending her away.

I was breaking every possible rule. The system I believed in and followed religiously was completely disregarded.

I couldn’t face the facts.

Instead, I did the singular thing I could think of: I threw myself back into the book and pushed all those feelings back down where I wouldn’t be able to find them.