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“You okay?” I ask, nuzzling farther into him.
“Yeah, I’m fine,” he answers, but I can tell he is lying.
“Hardin, if there is something wrong . . .” I begin.
“There isn’t, I’m fine.” I decide to let it go. We have gotten along all weekend; it’s a record for us. I don’t want to ruin it. I lift my head up and place a single kiss on his jaw and his arms wrap tighter around me.
“I have a few things to do today, so whenever you’re ready, can you drop me off at my house?” he asks. My stomach drops, hearing the distance in his voice.
“Sure,” I mumble and move out of his embrace. He tries to grab my wrist but I move too quickly. Grabbing my bag, I head to the bathroom to change and brush my teeth. We have been in our own little bubble all weekend, and I fear that without the protection of these walls, he won’t be the same.
I’m relieved when I don’t run into Landon or Dakota in the hallway, and even more relieved that Hardin is fully dressed when I return. I want to get this over with. He has cleaned the glass off the floor and the keyboard is in the trash can, the lamp and monitor neatly piled nearby.
Downstairs, I say goodbye to Ken and Karen, though Hardin walks outside without saying a word to either of them. I assure them that Hardin will still be at the wedding, despite the drama last night. I tell them about the computer and lamp, but they don’t seem to pay it much mind.
“Are you mad or something?” Hardin asks after ten minutes of silence.
“No.” It’s not that I’m mad, I am just . . . nervous, I suppose. I can feel the shift between us and I wasn’t expecting anything to change from how we were all weekend.
“It seems like it.”
“Well, I’m not.”
“You need to tell me if you are.”
“You’re just being distant and now you’re having me drop you off at your house, and I thought everything was fine between us,” I say.
“You’re upset because I have things to do today?” When he says it like that, I realize how ridiculous and obsessive I sound. Is that why I am upset? Because he isn’t hanging out with me today?
“Maybe.” I laugh at my stupidity. “I just don’t want you to be distant from me.”
“I’m not . . . not on purpose, at least. I am sorry if I made you feel that way.” He reaches over and puts his hand on my thigh. “Nothing is going to change, Tessa.”
His words calm me, but there is still a sliver of uncertainty behind my smile.
“Do you want to come with me?” he finally asks.
“No, I’m okay. I have some studying to do anyway.”
“Okay. Tess, you have to remember this is new to me. I’m not used to having to consider other people when I make plans.”
“I know.”
“I can come to your room when I’m finished, or we can go to dinner or something.”
I put my hand on his cheek, then run it through his messy hair. “It’s fine, really, Hardin. Just let me know when you’re finished and we can decide then.”
When we pull up to his house, he leans over and gives me a swift kiss before climbing out of the car.
“I’ll text you,” he says, and bounds up the steps to that damned house.
Chapter seventy-three
The emptiness that I feel after dropping Hardin off is strange, and makes me feel a bit pathetic. After the short drive back to my room, it already feels as if I dropped him off hours ago. Steph isn’t in the room when I get there, but I’m glad. I really do need to study and prepare for my first day at Vance tomorrow: I have to decide what to wear, what to bring, what I am going to say.
Taking out my planner, I plan my week by the hour, then move on to my clothes. Day one at Vance will be my new black skirt and a red top and black heels, not too high but higher than I would have considered wearing two months ago. The outfit is very professional but still feminine. I wonder idly if Hardin will like it.
To keep my mind off him, I complete all of my assignments that are due this week and then some. By the time I finish, the sun has disappeared from the sky and I’m starving, but the cafeteria is already closed. Hardin still hasn’t texted me, so I assume he isn’t planning on coming over tonight.
Grabbing my purse, I head out to find something to eat. I remember seeing a Chinese restaurant near the little library, but by the time I find the place it’s closed. I look up the closest restaurant to me and find a place called the Ice House. When I drive there, the Ice House is small and looks like it’s made out of aluminum, but I’m hungry and the idea of finding another place to eat makes my stomach rumble even more. Going inside, I realize it’s more of a bar that serves food, and that it’s actually quite packed, although to my surprise I manage to find a small table in the back to sit at.
I ignore the glances of the people inside, who must be wondering why I’m here alone, but I always eat alone. I am not one of those people who need someone to go with them everywhere. I go shopping alone, eat out alone, and I have even been to the movies alone a few times when Noah wasn’t able to come. I never really have minded being alone . . . until now, if I’m honest with myself. I miss Hardin more than I should, and it troubles me that he hasn’t even bothered to text me.
I order, and while I’m waiting on my food, the waitress brings me over a pink drink with a yellow umbrella sticking out of the top.
“Oh, I didn’t order this,” I tell her but she sits it down in front of me anyway.