Page 34 of Across the Star-Kissed Sea (Proper Romance Regency #1)

I couldn’t. Lazy as he was, he did his work well when he put his mind to it. He would make a good replacement if he applied himself. “Mr. Jackson might have promoted one of his crew,” I said. “I haven’t heard.”

Lewis released me and wagged a finger in my face.

“But there is a place. Luck has smiled upon me again.” He rested his hands on his hips as though he’d been offered his own command.

“What happened to the previous mate? The poor bloke up and die? He didn’t desert, did he? ” He guffawed at his terrible joke.

I ground my teeth. Just this morning, I’d acknowledged my limited understanding of the people around me and resolved to open my heart.

Frustrated though I was, even Lewis deserved a chance, didn’t he?

“The captain’s aboard just now, if you’d like to seek his approval.

I suppose I will see you aboard tonight if all goes well. ”

He seized me from behind in a crushing embrace like he always used to do before he went to sea.

It might have been endearing if I weren’t choking on his stench.

“You’re the best sister a sailor could ever ask for,” he said, lifting me from my feet.

His arms dug into my stomach. “That’s what we Byams do. We look after our family.”

Sometimes. This time I would try. Perhaps what Lewis needed was someone to reach out with kindness. I could be that person. “Let me go, you big oaf.” I pushed against him, and he finally released me.

“I swear I’ll make it up—”

I held up my hands. “Thank you is good enough for me.” I might be trying to understand, but I couldn’t bear one more empty promise.

“Miss Byam?” The worried voice washed through the alleyway like cool water in a desert. I practically ran toward the street. Elias caught me by the shoulders. “Are you well?” He squinted into the shadows at Lewis ambling toward us and took a step forward, partly blocking me.

I’d never seen him act so protectively. My heart swelled. He was braver than he wanted to believe.

I took his arm. “Not to worry,” I said. “This is my brother, Lewis.”

Lewis stepped into the afternoon sun. I winced.

He looked worse in the light. The greasy hair that had fallen from his queue hung stringy and matted around his face.

He had something in his teeth, and his once-white shirt matched the stone around us.

I couldn’t tell the color of the fabric’s checked pattern.

Elias’s brow rose as he glanced at me for certainty. I nodded. “I didn’t know he was on Malta. He is ...” What did I say? Of all the people in the world, I least wanted to lie to Elias about Lewis’s desertion.

“I was discharged from HMS Caligula for illness, sir. Been looking for a position as carpenter’s mate ever since.” Lewis extended his hand, and it was all I could do not to grab Elias’s to prevent him having to touch it. “Lewis Byam Jr., at your service.”

Elias hesitated, then shook my brother’s hand briefly. “A pleasure to meet another of Miss Byam’s kin.”

“This is our chaplain, Mr. Elias Doswell,” I said.

Lewis took him in from top hat to buckled shoe, the hint of a sneer about his mouth.

Clearly, he bought into the common seamen’s disdain for clergymen.

I bristled but reminded myself to stay calm.

“He has been a dear friend to me on this journey,” I blurted, instantly regretting the words.

My cheeks warmed. Dear friend . What a simpleton.

To say something so easy to misconstrue in front of my brother.

Lewis snickered silently. This trying to be understanding would take discipline on my part.

I turned to Elias, whose face looked a little rosier than it had before.

Or perhaps it was just the afternoon sun that twinkled in his eyes.

“Lewis is hoping Captain Peyton will give him a position on the Marianne ,” I said.

Even without looking at him, I could feel Lewis’s laughing gaze.

I hadn’t missed his teasing. If Captain Peyton approved, how long would I have to endure the taunting?

Much as I did want my brother taken care of—preferably in a position where he could take care of himself—the thought of spending the next months, perhaps years, on the same ship.

... No, I needed to stay optimistic. What if fate was giving me a chance to start making things right in our family? I’d make the best of it.

“I see.” Elias studied me, and I couldn’t meet his eyes. Of course he sensed something was off. He knew my emotions better than I did.

“If you’d be so kind, May, as to show me to the Marianne .

” Lewis raised his arm—was he offering it to me, being gentlemanly for the first time in his life?

—but I quickly looped my hand around Elias’s and pretended not to see.

The feel of the fine wool through my sleeve settled the anxious stirring in my belly.

If he was there, I could face life with Lewis.

I could be understanding and look for the best. Elias and I had weathered many things in the couple of months we’d been together, beginning with our humiliating introduction. That felt a lifetime ago.

Elias cleared his throat and shook his head slightly as though pulling himself out of his thoughts. “If you will follow us this way, Mr. Byam, she isn’t far.”

Us . The simple word chimed in my head like one of St. Thomas’s bells as we made our way toward the docks. He’d said it so naturally, as if we had always been friends. Confidants. Or perhaps something more.

I shifted closer to him as we walked, never minding Lewis’s questioning looks.

Let him laugh. I’d endured it nineteen years and hadn’t let it fluster me before.

Perhaps a new start with the support of a family member was just what Lewis needed.

With Elias by my side, I wouldn’t let my brother’s ridiculous foibles deter me.