Page 32 of Accidental Dad’s Best Friend (Unintentionally Yours #7)

Izzy

“ W e need to get back in bed, buddy.” I usher Jaxon towards his room.

It’s late. Very late. Later than I ever let him stay up.

I am regretting everything that happened tonight.

I regret getting him out of bed, taking him to the office.

I regret confronting my dad, even though I think it worked out for the best. We aren’t running the article and everything is out in the open.

But that leads to more regret.

“I don’t understand why everyone is mad,” he whines.

I know he is just tired. Confused. Possibly a little traumatized.

I never raise my voice around him. I never raise my voice around anyone if I am being honest. But tonight was different.

I was standing up to my dad possibly for the first time ever.

There was a lot to hash out. And the things he said about Jaxon and I, the things he called us…

I had to say what I did. It’s just unfortunate that I said them in front of Jax.

“People are mad because grown ups do stupid things sometimes,” I try to explain.

“Can I sleep in your bed tonight?” Jax asks. “With you?”

I smile at that. I actually love the idea of it. I could use a little human teddy bear tonight. “Of course.”

We climb into my bed and turn off the lights. The blinds are open and the moon is full. Bright. Comforting. It casts slivers of silvery blue light across the bed and I pull Jax into me. He wraps his arms around me, snuggling his head into my chest. It’s both comforting and heart breaking.

“What stupid things did you do?” He asks and I almost laugh at his quoting of me.

“Well. I didn’t tell you about Ethan being your dad, for starters.”

“Why not? Ethan is nice.”

I take in a sharp breath and hold it. The answers to that? Like the real answers?

Because I shouldn’t have had sex with my dad’s best friend.

Because we didn’t use a condom and now, well, here we are.

Because I was afraid if he knew, he’d interrupt the life we created, even if it was a coupon clipping, Goodwill shopping life.

Because you are my entire heart and I didn’t want to lose even a fraction of you.

“I didn’t know how he’d feel about it.” It’s the best answer I can muster.

“How do you think he feels about it, now that he knows?” Jax asks.

“He likes you. A lot,” my voice cracks.

“How can you tell?”

I smile through tears. “It’s the way he looks at you. Ethan is…a difficult man…”

“Like grumpy?”

I giggle through the tears. “Yeah, he can be grumpy.”

“Is it because he’s an old man?”

I laugh out loud at that. “Hey! Ethan is not an old man.”

“He’s older than you,” he giggles.

Oh my God. How is this the conversation I am having right now?

“Mommy?”

“Yes, buddy?”

“Do I have to stop being friends with Luca?”

The question is like a punch to my gut. “You don’t have to stop being friends with him at school. We just can’t really hang out with him and his mommy anymore.”

Jaxon nods but I know it makes him sad. It makes me sad too. As I look around the room I realize that all of it is sad. I love our place. I love the neighborhood and the school. I love the coffee shop and the gym and the splash pad where I can drink beer while he eats snow cones.

I’m even a little sad about Rosilyn. If I am being honest with myself, I am worried about her. Unhinged or not, being a single mom is no joke. I know that better than anyone.

“Mommy?” Jaxon asks, his voice growing sleepier and his head growing heavier.

“Yes, love?”

“I’m not mad about Ethan.”

“Really?” I ask, a ball of emotion rising in my throat.

“Yeah. Even if you lied about it. I would be okay with it if he wanted to be my dad all the time.”

I cover my mouth with my hand. I am thankful that those last words drifted him into a rhythmic sleep because I don’t want him to see me cry.

But I can’t stop the tears now. If I’m being honest, something I am apparently not great at, I wouldn’t hate it if Ethan was around either.

In fact, before everything that just happened happened, I think I thought that might be the direction we were headed.

I think I thought we could be together. The three of us.

A family. And now, I’m kicking myself for ever letting myself, or Jax, believe that.

“Miss Sloane, please come in.”

I stand up and straighten my pencil skirt before making my way across the black tile floor.

The League has a very fancy office, I’ll give them that.

I don’t know what I was expecting as far as sports magazines go.

Maybe a checker print floor? Racing stripes?

Honestly I wouldn’t have been surprised if there was a sports bar in the lobby with 72 inch screens playing football or golf.

But in reality, this place is pretty chic and I’m glad I dressed formally for the interview.

A woman with blonde hair and a bright pink blouse paired with a skirt similar to mine closes the door behind me and takes a seat behind the desk. Next to her is a young man in a fitted blue suit and while I don’t want to stare, I find myself studying him. I know I’ve seen him before. On TV maybe.

“Please, sit,” the woman motions. “I’m Jennifer and this is Matt Ortega.”

The name doesn’t immediately jump out at me but I feel like I should know it. Either way, he’s important. I can tell that much.

“I suppose we should start with why we wanted to interview you,” Matt begins and I can’t help but smile.

“I like to think you’ve read my work before. And not because you’ve heard rumors about me.”

My face flushes and immediately I realize how bad that must sound. But luckily, both Jennifer and Matt laugh.

“We have heard a great deal, but believe it or not, it hasn’t been bad. You used to work for Slay, correct?” Jennifer asks.

“Yes…” I trail the word. Slay is and forever will be a slippery subject. I have to know my audience well before talking about my time there.

But Matt shakes his head. “Don’t worry. We side with the unpopular opinion that they had it coming.”

“And if I am being honest,” Jennifer leans in, “everything you wrote about them was spot on.”

“We like your honesty, Miss Sloane. You’re real and honest and funny too. But also, you believe in the truth.”

I nod at Matt. “I suppose I feel like journalism these days is so focused on the popular story that they lose sight of the true story.”

“I agree,” he nods. “And while telling people what they want to hear sells magazines, it hurts people. Excuse me for saying this, but your father hurt a lot of people.”

“No offense taken.” I offer a smile.

Despite the fact we never published the article I wrote, my dad did in fact resign.

And boy oh boy did that catch wind. Starting with the writers of NBT.

As soon as he was gone, there was a party of sorts.

The magazine changed direction like a sailboat catching wind.

Several writers added low key articles about poor leadership, slander for the sake of sales, and even feeling liberated enough to speak the truth without repercussions.

In short? The word about my dad’s unethical ways spread like wildfire through the journalism world and Ethan and I didn’t even have to do it.

“We are looking for a strong, charismatic editor to add to our team, Miss Sloane. Someone to lead the others, work directly under us and entertain sports lovers across the map all while keeping our values in check. We believe you’re a phenomenal candidate.”

“Wow,” I smile. “I mean, I don’t know much about sports.”

“You’d be surprised how little that matters for the editor in chief,” Jennifer winks.

I chuckle at that but then I stop. I blink. “Wait. Editor in chief?”

“Yes,” Matt nods, taking off his glasses. “We understand most of your work is in the writing itself but because of that, and your experience in different parts of the industry, we think you’d be a great fit.”

“I…I don’t know what to say,” I stutter. “I had no idea that was the job I was being considered for.”

“Well you don’t need to say anything right now,” Matt goes on. “You have some time to think it over. We still have a couple interviews to go. But I will say, you can most likely expect a phone call.”

“I think you might know one of the other candidates,” Jennifer says while flipping through the files. “Ethan Savage?”

I stop.

“Ethan Savage is interviewing?”

“Yes. We are speaking with him tomorrow. It’s actually not his first interview with us, but the other one fell through for some reason.”

“Hire him,” I blurt out.

“I’m sorry?” Jennifer asks with narrowed eyes. Matt drags his gaze from the papers on the desk up to me.

“I’m sorry. But honestly, he would be a much better fit for this job than me. He loves sports, he’s worked in the industry way longer, he’s a great leader and a top notch editor. You should hire him.”

“Do you not want the job?” Matt asks.

“Oh no, I want the job. I need the job. But if you want the right person, between Ethan and me, well. It’s Ethan.”

They look at each other and then back at me. “Honestly, that makes me want to hire you even more,” Matt admits. “But like I said, we will be in touch.”

I leave the interview not knowing how to feel.

On one hand, I can’t believe I did that.

I do need this job, more than I want to admit.

My rent has been paid through the next month thanks to Ethan paying ahead of time.

And I am determined to be able to keep it.

Even if it is outrageous. We hardly have any bills otherwise and if I land a job like this one, I should be able to afford it.

Jax is happy in his school and I love the neighborhood, bougie as it may be.

On the other hand though, what I said was true. Ethan is way more qualified for it than I am. Maybe even overqualified. I believe that when they interview him, they will see that. Part of me hopes that they’ll tell him I recommended him. Maybe then, he’ll see that I am trying to thank him.

That I’m sorry.

That I still care.

Maybe he will even come around. Maybe he will let me apologize and he’ll forgive me for lying.

Even if keeping his son from him is an unforgivable sin.

Maybe he’ll want to see Jax, even if he doesn’t want to be with me.

No matter what though, I can’t live on maybes.

I have to keep going, to keep fighting, to keep living.

Because Jax needs me, now more than ever.

And because I am a fighter.

It’s what I do.