Page 23 of Accidental Dad’s Best Friend (Unintentionally Yours #7)

Izzy

I t’s a warm, cloudy Saturday and Jaxon and I are headed to the Denver Zoo.

While I normally don’t spend money on big things like this, I mentioned it to Ethan in a text after Rosilyn asked if we wanted to go and he insisted we do.

Apparently, he has mandatory fun time with my dad, aka golfing at the country club.

Not only did he tell me it was a good idea, but he paid for a season pass for us.

It’s been a long time since I’ve been to a zoo. It’s not until we are inside, putting on sunscreen and filling up water bottles that I remember how much I actually enjoy zoos.

“I want to see the seals! Mommy, can you hear the seals?! They’re barking like dogs!” Jax is bouncing around so much I can hardly get the sunscreen on his wriggling body.

“I hear them,” I smile. “And we will see all the things.”

“Yes we will,” Rosilyn agrees.

“There’s lions too.” Luca crinkles his nose as his mom covers his face with lotion. “I saw them the last time I was here.”

“You’re lucky you get to go to the zoo so much,” Jax says, pulling free from me and grabbing the park map from my bag. “When we lived in Grand Junction there were no zoos.”

“No zoos?” Luca’s jaw drops like he can’t even imagine such a thing.

“Nope. No roller coasters or water parks or skyscrapers either.”

“What did you even do for fun?” Luca exclaims.

I almost frown at that. Staying in Denver might have been an option.

If I had a normal life with normal circumstances and I wasn’t avoiding a crazy father and wasn’t worried about anyone trying to tear me and Jax apart.

But I still think what I’ve given him up to this point is good.

We never had luxury but I also don’t feel like he’s ever been in want or need of anything. I’ve worked hard to make sure of that.

“Alright so what’s first?” I ask, changing the subject before I overthink everything.

Both boys shout out at least five different animals. Rosilyn steps in with a smile.

“How about we start at the penguins over here and work our way around the park in a big circle.”

That answer seems to make everyone happy.

The boys skip from animal to animal and Rosilyn and I follow.

It’s a leisurely way to spend a Saturday.

While five year olds are brimming with never ending energy, it’s much easier than the toddler years.

As long as we keep their drink cups full, grab some popcorn, and hit the bathrooms enough times, they’re content. Honestly, it’s lovely.

It must be showing because at one point, while we watch the elephants, Rosilyn makes a comment. “You look happy.”

“I am,” I admit.

“Any more issues with the house?”

“No,” I shake my head, taking a sip from my water bottle. “It’s been quiet.”

“Good. I find it crazy that something like that would happen in our neighborhood. It’s usually so quiet.”

“Maybe it was just teenagers after all.”

“Maybe,” she agrees.

My phone buzzes and I pull it out of my bag. My lips curl in a smile. It’s a text from Ethan.

Ethan- How’s the zoo?

Izzy- Fun. I forgot how many animals there are.

Ethan- What’s your favorite?

Izzy- That’s hard. I like giraffes though.

“Special someone?” Rosilyn asks and I shove my phone in my bag.

“Just a friend.”

The boys move on to the next attraction and we follow. “Your face says different,” Rosilyn presses with a smile.

“He’s a friend, I swear,” I laugh, pulling my shades from my bag and putting them on.

The sun is peeking through the clouds now.

But also, I’ve never had a great poker face.

The boys are getting hungry and we find a grassy area near a playground.

We sit at a table in the trees enjoying fried chicken potato salad, baked beans and watermelon.

“I love cold fried chicken,” I say, dabbing my lips with a napkin. “I know that’s kind of weird. But when I was a kid, I didn’t grow up around a lot of family, but my neighbors used to take me on picnics with them while my dad was working. He worked a lot, even Sundays.”

“No grandparents?” Rosilyn asks, spooning up a bite of potato salad.

I shake my head, taking another bite. “My dad doesn’t talk to his parents. And I guess he stopped talking to my mom’s parents when she died.”

“Your mom died?” Luca blurts out and Rosilyn shoots him a look.

“Luca!”

I smile though. “It’s alright. I was a baby. I don’t even remember her.”

“Still must be hard,” Rosilyn empathises.

I half shrug, tousling Jax’s hair. “I used to feel sad about it once in a while. Mostly when I saw other kids with their moms. It seemed like everyone had a mom but me. My neighbors must have noticed because they always offered to let me do things with them. Their kids were a little older than me but it felt nice. Like I belonged with them. Sometimes I actually wished they were my family. We’d go to parks and on picnics like this and they always brought cold fried chicken.

Something about it being chilled was delicious to me. Maybe association, I don’t know.”

“Mommy can Luca and I go on the playground before we go see more animals?”

“That’s fine with me,” I say and Rosilyn nods too. They throw their plates in the trash and take off.

“I didn’t have a lot of family growing up either,” she tells me. “It makes me sad for Luca.”

“That’s how I feel too. I was pretty much raised by my dad and his friend, as odd as that sounds.”

“That’s not odd.” She shakes her head. “The friend must have cared about both of you a lot.”

“He does. Did,” I correct myself. I’m glad the heat from the outside temperature has already settled into my cheeks enough that she probably can’t see me blushing. “As long as Jax is happy, I don’t care about any of that anymore.”

My phone buzzes. Another text from Ethan.

Ethan- I wish I was there with you.

Izzy- No you don’t. It’s a bunch of sugar high, cranky kids, stinky animals and sweaty parents.

Ethan- Sounds better than golfing with your dad.

Izzy- But he’s your bestie!

Ethan- You’re not being a very good girl.

Izzy- …but I’m cute.

“Okay that smirk tells me I was right. Who’s the man?” Rosilyn asks, attempting to look over my shoulder. I shove my phone aside before she can see.

“He’s no one!”

“I call bullshit.”

I stare at her. She stares at me. I break.

“Okay fine. It is a guy. But you can’t say anything.”

“I knew you were seeing someone!” She blurts out and I wave my hands for her to hush. “Tell me everything.”

Tell her everything. That is going to be difficult.

Because I’m not about to tell her I am seeing my boss.

Which, technically I’m not. Nothing is official and we can’t date.

Not technically. But also, she knows who my boss is.

She’s seen him. And she also knows he’s older.

I’m not so sure she’d approve, even if she did say to date more mature men.

“Well it’s not official. But we have been spending a lot of time together.”

“Yeah you have! Have you been going on dates?”

“Not…exactly but sort of? More like…outings. And coffee?” I’m doing terrible.

“So casual. Does he know you're a single mom?”

“He does,” I nod. “Actually he’s met Jax.”

She smiles. “And how’s that going?”

“Really good,” I answer, and I am starting to feel sick.

All of the answers have been true but none of them feel organic.

Probably because I’m holding back a lot.

Honestly, the pressure is starting to build up.

Other than Cassie, I’ve never been able to just open up to anyone.

And even with her, I didn’t admit to knowing who Jax’s father was.

Rosilyn is nice. And the boys get along so well. And she’s also a single mom. And I’m about to pop.

“Can I tell you a secret?” I ask, leaning in.

Rosilyn’s eyes sparkle and she leans close too with a nod.

“I’m really into this guy,” I admit. “I have been for… a long time.”

“How long?” She asks.

“Since like…high school.”

“Shut. Up. So why didn’t you ever date?”

“Because…” I don’t know how to answer that. I’m not ready to admit it’s because he’s my dad’s best friend. That’s a lot. Not to mention taboo. So I soften the answer a little, while still telling the truth. “Ethan is older.”

“I told you older men are the best!”

“And he’s the father.”

Rosilyn blinks. “He’s whose father?” She asks the question like she doesn’t want to know the answer and I wonder if I’ve gone too far.

“Jaxon’s,” I say and she nods slowly. “Ethan is Jaxon’s father.”

“Does…he know?” She asks softly.

I shake my head and cover my face with my hands.

“Are you going to tell him?”

“I don’t know!” I whisper yell. “He came back into my life very suddenly and I wasn’t planning on any of this.

We…work together, so to speak. And I wasn’t planning on him finding out I have a kid.

And I definitely wasn’t planning on them meeting but that sort of just happened too.

All of it has been an accident and all of it is going well.

Except for the him not knowing Jax is his kid part.

” I look at Rosilyn with a cringe. “Am I a terrible person? I feel like I am a terrible person.”

“No. But I do think it’s wrong that he doesn’t know. I also think you need to be prepared for him to possibly dip if you tell him though.”

My stomach sinks. “You think he won’t want to have anything to do with him? Even though they’re hitting it off so well right now?”

“They’re hitting it off because he doesn’t know the kid is his.

Trust me. Men get spooked when responsibility is involved.

Right now it’s safe because he can just play superman.

But if he thought he was going to be legally bound?

I’m just saying this from experience. He’s not going to be okay with it.

Especially since you’ve kept it from him. ”

The boys are on their way back to the table which means the conversation is over.

I force a smile for Jax’s sake but Rosilyn’s words are burning a hole at the forefront of my mind.

She doesn’t know the whole story. And she also doesn’t know Ethan.

But at the same time, I have kept it a secret for a reason.

My gut has always told me not to tell Ethan about Jax.

My worst fear was that he would try to get partial or full custody if he knew.

Or that he’d meet him and decide he wanted to have nothing to do with him.

Either one is a possibility and either one would crush us.

My phone buzzes again.

Ethan- You’re not wrong. You are very cute. And I want to see you.

I swallow hard and shove the phone back in my pocket.