Page 8 of A Wolf’s Wound
Hannah
Ryder waves a take-out bag with a conciliatory smile, and the scent of Chinese food entices my growling stomach as I digest what he’s just said.
I’m working with his mother, and his older brother is the pack’s alpha. Of course, he is.
It’s one thing to be a shifter. It’s another to be a beta—a leader in his pack.
It’s never just normal, strings-free relationships. Everyone is tangled, all up in each other’s business, and if I’m not careful, I know exactly how this is going to end.
His lip curves upward even more as my stomach makes itself known. It takes too damned long to tear my gaze back to the front desk, where I make myself busy tidying up.
“Gavin told me you’d be working the late shift, so I thought I’d bring dinner.” He stays in the doorway, as if sensing I need space.
I try not to focus too much on that—how well can he tell what I’m thinking. The playing field here is dangerously uneven, but it’s not like he can really help it.
I do appreciate the space.
And I am freaking starving.
“I didn’t know what you’d like, so I went with orange chicken, lo mein, and good old kung pao chicken.” He smiles hopefully at me, and he’s got a fucking dimple on the left side of his face. That should be illegal, dammit.
Shadow, enticed by the smell of food, ambles over shamelessly and paws at Ryder’s jeans. “Hey there, buddy.” Shadow begins to climb his leg. “Whoa!”
“Shadow!” I scold. The raccoon reluctantly climbs down, but he shoots me a look. I have approximately ten minutes to share some food with this dude or he’s going to ransack the entire bag. “I don’t know if there are any plates—”
“There are,” he says quickly, because of course he’d know. “But we can just eat here standing up, straight out of the Styrofoam containers, if that’s how you like to do it.”
My cheeks flush.
The dimple makes a reappearance. I am such a sucker. “Is that a yes to a refined dinner in the break room? You don’t have to sit don’t if you don’t want to, but I’ve been on my feet all day.”
Despite my reservations, I find myself curious. “What do you do? For a job, I mean.”
“Oh, this and that.” He lets me lead the way to the break room, and Shadow ambles behind us.
He sets up our plates competently, and it’s obvious this isn’t his first rodeo in the vet break room.
“How was your first day?” he asks, changing the subject. “Did Mrs. Benson bring in her parrot yet?”
“No?” I feel my eyebrows rise. “Does she bring her parrot often?”
“Oh, every week. He’s always eating something or other that he shouldn’t, and you’ll have to look out, or he’ll try to take a bite of your finger too.” He makes a plate for Shadow, who grabs the orange chicken. “He just gonna hold on to that?”
Shadow bounds over toward the sink, and I obligingly turn it on for him so he can wash his food before he shovels it into his mouth without tasting it.
“He likes to wash it first.”
“That is impressively hygienic.” He unwraps his chopsticks and hands me mine. “You might want to look away, little buddy, because I’m just gonna be raw dogging this here kung pao.”
Shadow sneers like he’s offended, and the thought of Ryder “raw-dogging” anything has me nearly choking on my first bite of lo mein. Helpfully, Shadow slaps me on the back as he absconds with some of my chicken.
“Raccoons are actually very hygienic,” I say, perhaps a bit more defensively than needed. I’m used to people being grossed out by Shadow, and honestly, he’s cleaner than most people.
“No doubts here,” Ryder says. “How’d you find the little guy?”
“He sort of found me, back in school.” Usually, I obfuscate a bit here when talking to other people. Othercross University isn’t common knowledge to humans. “I went to OU.”
Ryder just nods. “I figured, since you’re a healer. Still, I can’t imagine your RA let you keep a raccoon in your room.”
“I lived off-campus, and my landlord might have been told he was just a very large cat.”
Ryder laughs, and I can’t help but laugh too. It’s easier talking to him than I would have thought. There aren’t any awkward pauses in our conversation, and even now, when we’re both quiet, it’s a companionable sort of silence.
“Do you help out at the vet’s office often? You seem rather at home here.”
He shakes his head, and I don’t know why I’m disappointed. “When I was a kid, sure. But I don’t have much time now. I’m usually helping Gavin with whatever needs doing. Today, I was busy patching up the Greens’ roof.”
Right. Shifters, I remember. It’s one big family business. Keeping up with everything the pack needs is a full-time job, and if Gavin’s the alpha…
“So, you’re Gavin’s beta?”
“That’s right.” He pauses, his chopsticks still stuck in his kung pao chicken. He spears it like he’s hunting for meat. I really shouldn’t find it charming.
His brown eyes shine at me like he’s pleased that I know about his role. As beta, he’s Gavin’s second-in-command, so tightly sewn into the fabric of pack life that it’s difficult to see where the pack members’ lives ends and his begins.
The next bite of chicken nearly sticks in my throat at the thought. I can’t let myself forget that he’s a pack member first—as thoughtful and sweet as he seems now, hierarchy is everything in a pack. And I am not about to become the property of some possessive, authoritative shifter.
Ryder seems a little puzzled as the conversation dies down, but he helps me clean up and lock up the office, only speaking when necessary.
But that annoys me too. It’s like he knows what I need before I do.
I slide the office key into my purse before striding down the sidewalk, and Ryder walks beside me.
His chin is lifted, all senses on alert, and his eyes sparkle strangely beneath the streetlights.
The wolf in him is on guard, and I selfishly feel a bit grateful for it, even as I chafe against how secure I feel next to him.
There won’t be any surprise attacks with Ryder next to me.
But dammit, I should be able to look out for myself.
“This is me.” I can tell that Ryder would like to walk me upstairs to my apartment, but the last thing I need is April looking out the peephole and seeing us together.
Ugh. All of this is disgustingly complicated.
“Listen…” Ryder doesn’t touch me, but the heat between us is…
It’s doing something to my head. I take a small step back, but Ryder doesn’t notice.
His eyebrows are knitted together, like he’s trying to work up the nerve to say something.
“Um, if you wanted to grab dinner with me tomorrow, in a restaurant instead of a tiny break room, I’d love to show you around town. ”
Shadow, picking up on my discomfort, hisses at him.
It should make me feel better than it does. Instead, I almost feel as if I’m disappointing myself when I turn him down.
“I… can’t.” I quickly spin and head toward the stairs, tossing a single word over my shoulder before I disappear. “Sorry.”
His face falls, but he doesn’t push it. When I make it to my apartment, I shut the door behind me, leaning against it while Shadow wanders off in search of a snack.
None of this makes any sense. I’ve never had any problem turning guys down before, especially guys who went on a date with my best friend. So why does it feel like we’re still connected, even though there’s a thick door and a million reasons not to date between us?