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Page 64 of A Wolf’s Wound

Hannah

I feel like a coward for turning away. But I can’t look at Ryder when I tell him I love him.

I don’t know why I can’t face him. After everything else that’s happened today, now is when I lose my courage? Compared to all the horrible things I’ve heard and seen over the past several hours, telling someone I love him should be even more simple than it otherwise would be.

But maybe it makes sense. Because when it comes to Ryder, my feelings have never been simple.

He reaches his hand out, wincing slightly from the movement. I make a mental note to order several X-rays of his shoulders and back when he’s at the hospital. Ryder cups my chin with his hand, gently forcing me to look at him.

“Hannah,” he says again, his voice still so quiet. I wait for him to tell me he doesn’t feel the same way. That even though I might be his mate, he just doesn’t love me. That this is all a huge misunderstanding.

Instead, he says, “I love you too.”

Tears spring into my eyes. “You do?”

“Yes.” He swallows and I swear he’s about to cry too. “I do.”

“Oh!” I cry, and then burst into tears. “Shit, Ryder, I’m sorry!” I manage to choke out through my sobs.

“Are you crying because you don’t want to love me?” he asks cautiously.

“No!” I weep, and then laugh. “Shit, I’m a mess.”

“You are,” he says, laughing too.

“I was just so worried for you,” I say, wiping my face with the backs of my hands. “That whole thing with Brian was so horrible, and I was so on edge. I kept expecting him to kill you—to kill both of us.”

“Hannah, I’m okay,” he says. “I mean, I will be once I can stand up again.”

“And once we make sure you don’t have a concussion,” I remind him, beginning to calm down.

“And that.” Ryder nods, looking amused.

He strokes the side of my face then, so gently that I almost begin crying again. “Hannah, I’ve been in love with you for a long time. I just didn’t know how to say it.”

“Really?”

“Really.”

“When I was at the cottage, I think I began falling in love with you,” I confess.

“That might have been when I began to fall for you too,” Ryder says. “I just know that one day it hit me, how much I loved being around you and missed you when you were gone. And I knew then that I was falling in love.”

“Oh, Ryder,” I say, caressing his face lightly, careful not to disturb the stitches and bandages.

“Ryder!” Gavin calls, hurrying over to us. “How are you feeling?”

“Better,” Ryder says, still looking at me.

Gavin looks from his brother to me, and smirks. “Yeah, I’ll bet you are.”

“Shut up,” Ryder grunts, still smiling.

My mother and Mason come over too. “Hannah, the ambulances have started arriving,” Mason says. “Can you help us move the injured to the hospital?”

“Sure,” I say, looking at Ryder once more before standing up. I don’t know what expression is on my face, but when I look at my mother, she’s smiling.

“Fill me in later,” my mom says lightly. “I want all the details.”

“Maybe not all,” I say, blushing, and she laughs.

“Feel better soon, Ryder,” my mother tells him. “I’m sure I’ll be seeing a lot more of you.”

“You should be in one of these ambulances,” I tell Ryder. “Gavin, go with him to the hospital.”

“Okay.” Gavin nods. I look at Ryder once more, and he holds my gaze for several long seconds. I love you , he mouths, and I break into a grin.

A few hours later, all of the wounded have been treated at the hospital. I’ve been helping out where I can, and I’m just finishing up my last patient when Gavin comes into the room where I am.

“Gavin! How’s Ryder?” I ask.

“No concussion and no permanent damage,” he reports. “He’s asking for you. Are you done in here?”

“Yeah, I was about to start looking for you two,” I say and follow him down the hall to the small room where Ryder’s being treated.

He looks a lot better than the last time I saw him. His face is bandaged and bruised, of course, and now he’s in hospital scrubs. I think about his bloodstained clothes and wince. But his color is good, and he looks like himself.

“Hey,” Ryder says. “I’ve been stitched and bandaged and scanned and cleared. Now I just want to go home.”

“Before you do,” Gavin says, “there’s something I need to talk to you both about.”

“This can’t wait until tomorrow?” I ask. “We’re both exhausted, Gavin.”

“I’m afraid not,” he says. “We searched Brian’s apartment and found more of the scent he created.”

“But it’s all been contained now. Right?” Ryder asks.

“We destroyed most of it but saved a little bit to analyze. It could be helpful to know how he created it, to be prepared if something like this happens again,” Gavin explains. “Ryder, Brian used your blood in the scent.”

“What?” Ryder asks, looking horrified.

“That explains why the shifters were drawn to you,” Gavin says.

I’m not sure if Ryder even heard that, though. His eyes are glassy and his breathing becomes more labored. “Gavin, we need to talk about this later,” I say firmly. “Ryder’s not in any shape to handle this right now.”

Gavin looks like he’s going to disagree, but then he sighs. “Okay. Get some rest, guys. We’ll talk again soon.” He walks to the door and then turns around and tosses me something.

“Those are the keys to my car,” he tells me. “Get Ryder home safely.”

“Thanks, I will,” I say. Ryder hasn’t moved. I take his hands in mine as Gavin closes the door.

“Ryder, talk to me.”

“I don’t know what to say,” Ryder finally says, his voice raspy. “I didn’t think I could feel more responsible for what happened, but I do.”

“You’re not,” I say. “You are not responsible for Brian’s actions.”

Ryder just shakes his head but doesn’t say anything else. Finally I get up and track down his doctor. Once Ryder’s discharged, I hold his hand as we walk to Gavin’s car. He’s still quiet as I pull onto the street.

“I talked to my mom earlier,” I finally say. I’d called her in between patients. “She said the debris and rubble from the fire has been cleaned up. More wolves from the Blackwood pack came in to help.”

Still no reaction.

“My parents will probably stay for a few days,” I continue. “I thought they could stay at my apartment, since it’s safe to use again. I also talked to April. She says she hopes you feel better soon, and that we should all go out when you’re up for it.”

Ryder just stares out the window. I can tell he’s lost in his thoughts. I reach over and hold his hand. Its warmth reassures me, and I squeeze his fingers tightly. I wait for a second, hoping he’ll squeeze back, but he doesn’t.

“It’s funny,” I continue. “I love my apartment and you know I didn’t want to leave it.” I glance over, hoping to see him at least smile a little, but he’s expressionless. “But now the cottage feels more like home. Not that I’m suggesting we move in together anytime soon.”

When that still doesn’t elicit a reaction, I sigh and decide to just get to the cottage and get Ryder inside. But when I pull up outside the cottage and turn off the car, Ryder doesn’t move. Instead, he turns and looks at me.

“Hannah,” he says softly. “Is this all my fault?”