Page 29

Alina

“WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT?” Lyra says, sitting forward at the dining table and leveling a look at Tristan. “Fire is definitely the strongest element. There’s no comparison.”

“You’re wrong.” Tristan braces one arm on the table. “Water far outpowers fire. It can even carve away stone. Can your flames do that?”

Lyra narrows her crimson eyes, gearing up for another rebuttal.

I glance at Maeve, who lost interest in their discussion ten minutes ago and is now flipping through a small book of poetry. Beside her, Poppy has pulled out one of her schoolbooks and is sipping a cup of tea while reading through a chapter. I swear, she reads her textbooks like they’re romance novels.

It’s taken all my willpower not to glance over at Raelan during dinner. After what he said to me in the hall, I can barely stand the thought of looking at him, of seeing his dark eyes and shadowed jaw and remembering what his hands feel like, all while knowing I can’t ever have them again.

Thinking of it sends another ember of embarrassment and anger burning through me. How could he do that to me, especially after I told him I’d never been with anyone else? I can’t help but to feel like he led me on, knowing all along he had no intention of taking what we had seriously.

Finally, I can’t resist lifting my gaze and glancing toward the doorway, where Raelan typically stands while I eat.

Except, Raelan isn’t the one standing there.

Someone else has taken his place, a man I barely recognize save for crossing paths with him at the castle. He’s staring right back at me, and when I meet his eyes, he gives me a barely perceptible nod. Cordial. Professional. Cold.

Just like all the guards at home.

But where is Raelan?

My stomach pinches painfully.

I push to my feet, but Maeve is the only one to notice, given Poppy is lost in her book and Lyra and Tristan are still arguing over elemental magic.

“What’s wrong?” she asks.

“I... don’t know,” I mumble, not tearing my eyes from the new knight. “I’ll be back.”

Striding across the dining hall, I walk right up to the knight, who bows his head when I stop before him.

“Who’re you?” I ask. “And where’s Sir Ashvale?”

“I’m Sir Callahan, Your Highness. I’ve replaced Ashvale as your personal guard. ”

A tendril of cold snakes through me, gripping my heart and squeezing. “ What? ”

Sir Callahan’s forehead furrows, a curious tilt to his head. “Were you unaware of the change, Your Highness? Sir Ashvale requested immediate replacement. His Majesty sent me as soon as he received word.”

Raelan did this? He wrote to Grandfather asking to be replaced?

The cold in my heart turns to heat. My fingers curl into fists, and I feel ice spreading across my knuckles as my anger seeps out. “Where is he?”

“Your Highness, I—”

“Answer me. Where is Sir Ashvale?”

A few students have turned toward us and are watching our exchange with unveiled curiosity. But I can’t bring myself to care. All I care about right now is finding Raelan and demanding he explain himself.

How could he do this?

“He is likely in the stables by now, if he hasn’t already departed.”

I’m walking before the last word has passed his lips. My boots tap out a sharp, angry rhythm on the stone floor as I sweep from the dining hall and into the corridor leading to the academy’s grand entrance. Immediately, Sir Callahan follows, his footsteps heavier than mine. He has no trouble catching up and falling into step behind me.

Though I’m not dressed for the crisp autumn weather and didn’t think to grab my cloak before leaving for the dining hall, I don’t hesitate to push through one of the big entrance doors and step out into the night .

The wind cuts right through my long-sleeved top and tailored vest, and it sends my skirt snapping around my ankles as I descend the stairs and start across the courtyard toward the stables. Braziers have been lit atop the stone wall encircling the academy, and they toss dim light across me as I move through the dancing shadows.

I’m halfway to the stables when two figures emerge—a man and a horse. Though they’re swathed in shadow, I can see the man is adjusting the saddle, preparing to swing up onto the horse’s back. This makes me pick up my pace. My boots crunch across the gravel, my breathing coming faster as my anger builds, and I’m near enough to see the cut of Raelan’s sharp profile when he finally turns and sees me.

“How dare you!” I say, storming up to him so quickly his horse shies to one side. I’ll apologize to her later, but my rage is bubbling over, incapable of being contained. “You were going to leave just like that? Without even saying goodbye ? Do I truly mean so little to you?”

Raelan’s dark gaze flicks over my shoulder, to where I know Sir Callahan is standing. Let him overhear—I don’t care. All I want is to hear Raelan’s reasoning, his explanation for fleeing from me in the night.

Like the thief he is. Because he stole from me, stole my affection and my attention, then tossed them away like nothing.

“Sir Callahan,” Raelan says, moving to step around me. “Would you hold Penelope for a moment?” He transfers her reins into Sir Callahan’s outstretched fingers. Then Raelan turns to me. “Let’s speak inside. You’re not dressed for the cold. ”

“What do you care how I’m dressed?” I snap, though I allow him to lead me to the stable. He pulls the big sliding door open just a crack, and we slip inside.

The air smells of horses and hay and sawdust, reminding me of home. It’s warmer inside, out of the wind, but I try not to let Raelan see what a comfort it is to me.

“Sir Ashvale,” the stablemaster says, popping his head out of one of the open stalls. “Is there something else I can do for you?”

“No.” Raelan holds up a hand. “Just need a moment to speak privately.”

The stablemaster’s gaze slides to me where I stand just behind Raelan, and his bushy silver brows rise with curiosity. “Certainly. You can use the office. It’s just through there.” He points, and Raelan nods his appreciation, then guides me toward the door and ushers me inside.

The office is small, lit by only a single candle. There’s a desk, a worn chair, and a couch that’s seen better days. Raelan closes the door, but it takes him a moment before he turns and faces me.

And when he does, his face is a mess of emotions I struggle to understand.

“You’re leaving?” I ask.

He nods once. “Yes.”

His confirmation nearly knocks the wind out of me. Even having seen him preparing to mount his horse and ride into the night, I was holding out hope that I’d somehow gotten it all wrong, that there’d been some misunderstanding.

“Why? ”

His jaw flexes. “Because I need to leave. You’ll be better off with Sir Callahan... and away from me.”

My anger and sadness swirl into a maelstrom, and mist leaks into my eyes as snowflakes start to fall around me, pulled into existence by my magic. “So, what is it? You finally had a taste of me and then decided I’m not the right flavor?”

Another flicker of emotion crosses Raelan’s face, this one surprised and perhaps a bit hurt. “Of course not. Alina, that’s not what this is. You know why we must stop.”

“No,” I snap, “I know your excuse for why we must stop. But that’s not a real reason. I could speak with my grandfather. This is my choice. It’s my body. I’ll do whatever I want with it. I choose the people I care for, no one else.”

Raelan takes a breath. His fingers curl into loose fists. “It’s not just about you. Have you taken even a moment to consider what this is doing to me? How excruciating it is to want you this way, knowing I can’t have you? Knowing I’m a danger to you?”

“You’re not a—”

“I am !” He steps forward, close enough to me now that I can see his pupils are fluctuating between a thin line and a normal circle. “You saw my mother. And that was nothing .” His hand comes up to cradle my face, warm despite having just been out in the autumn chill. “I could tear you into ribbons with one swipe of my claws. If this chain is ever to fail me when you’re near”—he lifts his chin so I can see the metal around his neck, the wounds that have almost healed just beneath the links—“I won’t be able to resist it again. ”

My heart thumps. His hand is still on my cheek, and I don’t want him to pull away. I want to stay right here, in this moment, for just a little while longer.

“Resist what?” I whisper.

A brief silence passes between us. We exchange a breath.

Raelan’s fingers curl around my cheek, and then he whispers, “Claiming you.”

I hold my breath.

Claiming me?

“What...” I whisper, blinking up at him. “What does that mean?”

Now his other hand comes up, and together, his hands cradle my face, tipping my head back so the candlelight hits my eyes. His face looks pained as he says, “It means you’re my fated mate, Alina.”

Those words, fated mate , echo through my mind, thrumming with the beat of my heart.

At the most basic level, I know how shifters work—as a member of the royal family, it’s expected that I have an awareness of the many different types of people who live in our kingdom—but I never even considered the possibility that a mate connection could form between us.

A princess and her guard.

A witch and her dragon.

“I’m your... mate?” It tastes like a forbidden secret as I whisper the words into the space between my lips and Raelan’s.

His pupils fully contract. They pull into dark slits, and for a moment, his fingers tighten about my face, and I’m sure he’s going to kiss me .

But then he pushes away from me, stepping back until he’s against the closed door. His chest rises and falls with rapid breaths, and he nods quickly, the movement sharp. Beneath the collar of his tunic, his chain glows. “Yes.”

I’m struggling to understand, to wrap my mind around what this means. “H-how long have you known?”

Raelan swallows hard, his throat bobbing with the movement. His eyes are still inhuman, reptilian. “Since you turned fifteen.”

I draw a breath.

Three years, almost four. He’s known all this time, yet he’s only now telling me.

“Does anyone know?” I ask.

“My mother.”

“You never told my grandfather?”

A muscle in his jaw feathers. “Not until recently. I feared he’d have me removed from the castle, sent away from my family. I couldn’t risk it.”

I open my mouth, wanting to express my anger and frustration at him for having kept such a secret from me—from all of us—for all these years. But Raelan’s face is twisted into a mask of hurt, and it steals the heated words right from my tongue.

Instead, I say, “What does this mean? For us?”

Slowly, his expression morphs, a mask rising up to hide what he’s truly feeling. I know him well enough now that I can see how it settles into place, as if each day for him is a masquerade ball, yet another waltz to dance through, hoping he doesn’t miss any steps .

“Nothing,” he says. “We can’t allow it to mean anything.”

Now that I have a better understanding, an inkling of what’s truly going on beneath Raelan’s cold exterior, I’m not brought to anger quite so quickly.

“You’re afraid,” I say. “Is that why you’re running away? So you don’t have to face this? Don’t have to feel this pull between us?” I take a step toward him. “Because I feel it too. My magic wants you, Raelan. I don’t know if it’s the bond, but it’s... unlike anything I’ve ever felt.”

At my words, more snowflakes fall around us silently, melting as soon as they land on the desk or the floor.

“You’re young yet.” Raelan’s voice is cold and hard. He’s trying to push me away. “You’ll find someone else. Someone better. Someone who’s not a danger to you.”

“I refuse to believe you’re dangerous,” I whisper, then recall how fearsome he is, how absolutely powerful and awe-inspiring his dragon is. “Well, at least to me.”

Raelan shakes his head. “I can’t do it. Can’t endanger you. I won’t. It’s why I’m leaving.” He takes a deep breath. “I’m sorry.”

Before I can say another word, he sweeps across the room and presses a kiss against my mouth, his lips hot and hard and trembling against mine.

I can feel his desire, his anguish, his struggle to control himself. I want to wrap him in my arms and tell him everything will be okay, that we’ll figure this out together.

But then he’s gone, his long black cloak swirling as he pulls open the door and vanishes into the stable, moving so quickly I have to catch my breath before hurrying after him.

“Raelan!” I yell as I squeeze my way through the gap in the sliding barn door and step into the windswept evening. But he’s already swinging a leg over his horse and pulling his hood up against the chill.

And he doesn’t even glance back at me as his horse gallops from the courtyard, his cloak billowing behind him as he goes.

“Raelan!” I scream again, but my voice is carried away by the wind, and it takes another thirty seconds of staring after him into the dark before I realize that tears are leaving frigid tracks down my cheeks and ice is creeping across my skin.

“Please, Your Highness,” Sir Callahan says from behind me. “We should get you inside, where it’s warm.”

But I’m not sure I’ll ever be warm again. Because the man I want—the man I may very well love—just left me behind, and I don’t think he’s ever coming back again.