Page 18

Raelan

I’M A FOOL, A MASOCHIST. But I can’t help myself. And though I feel my control slipping, I can’t bring myself to care. As long as I have this chain around my neck, and as long as Alina doesn’t take it off again, I know I won’t hurt her.

I, on the other hand, have become familiar with pain.

The pain of yearning for her while knowing I can’t have her. The anguish of not telling her the truth, of not claiming her as my own.

If I have to feel pain in the name of tasting her lips one more time, of sharing her breath even for a moment, so be it.

This time, I won’t give in.

She lets out a breath as I wrap my fingers around her waist. My dragon, previously curled quietly inside me, at ease after our long flight, starts to uncoil, drawn out by Alina and the urge I have to make her mine.

My fingers slip inside her open robe to touch the thin fabric of her nightdress. It’s silky against my skin, a delicate little thing. I could tear clean through it, rip it from her body and leave it in tatters.

But I don’t. I resist.

Alina presses her body close to mine, her hands coming up to wrap around my neck. I tense up feeling her fingers along the chain, but she whispers, “I won’t do it again. I promise.”

Her breath is minty as it drifts along my lips.

My fingers slide down her waist to cup her ass, and then I’m lifting her up, causing her to gasp as she wraps her legs around me. Her slippers fall to the floor with a soft patter, and the nightdress she’s wearing glides up with the movement, bunching around her upper thighs and waist. My cock throbs as I crush her to me. Her mouth finds mine again as I take a few steps through the sitting area and press her back against the wall between the hearth and the small window, through which silver moonlight gleams.

Her long blue hair is loose around her shoulders, and I release one hand from beneath her to push my fingers through the silky strands. They slip between my fingers like water, so soft I feel they must be charmed with magic.

I fist her hair in my grasp and turn her head to one side, finding her throat with my mouth, picking back up where we left off in the hall before my dragon sent me running into the storm. She whimpers softly, such a breakable little thing, and my cock jumps. There’s only a thin layer of fabric between us, and as I push my hips against her, I can feel how wet she is through my trousers.

I have the urge to sink my teeth into her neck, her wrists, her breasts, to claim her fully and feel my magic pulse through her veins, to make her mine . I want to tear her thin panties aside and bury myself inside her, to make her arch her back and claw my skin with only my name on her lips. She’d be better than any woman I’ve ever had, like a cask of precious fairy wine before a roaring fire, like strawberries dipped in a sinuous river of dark chocolate. She’d be everything and more.

“Raelan,” she whispers in the firelit darkness. It’s more a breath than a word, and I capture her mouth again before she can even draw a gasp.

Fully awake now, my dragon thrashes inside me, fighting once more to be free. But this time it doesn’t wish to fly away; it wishes to stay here, to hoard the treasure that is Alina Ravenscroft, to curl about her and never let her free.

I could do it. If she were to remove my chain, I could claim her, fuck her, have her . No one would be able to best me, to wrest me away from her. I could—

No , I tell myself, abruptly cutting off that intoxicating train of thought. This is Alina. The princess. My duty and charge.

And I realize suddenly that I have her pressed against a wall, my dick straining for her, grinding along the wet slit between her legs.

What the fuck am I doing?

I need to get my head straight. Alina’s very presence casts a spell over me, muddles my brain until I can’t remember up from down, can scarcely remember my own name and place in this world.

And though my instincts rage against it, the truth is that my place is not inside her; it’s beside her, guarding her, protecting her. I’m not the one who’ll get to lie alongside her each night, to taste the heat between her thighs, to fill her with my seed and watch as it spills out of her.

Because if I do that and someone finds out—if the king or any member of the royal family were to discover what I’ve done—I’d be banished from the castle and perhaps even the kingdom. Then I wouldn’t get to see her again, wouldn’t get to catch her scent on the air or watch the way her pale eyes shine when she smiles. And that may very well kill me. It would be a slow death of the most tortured variety.

It takes every ounce of willpower I have to break our kiss and ease Alina slowly back onto her feet. When her toes are touching the cold floor, I plant my hands on either side of her head, curling my fingers into the stone as my arms shake with the fight raging inside me.

“Are you okay?” she whispers. Her eyes flick to the chain about my neck.

The magic is burning my skin again, but I scarcely feel the pain. Beneath me, with her head tipped back against the wall and her lips swollen and red, she’s the most enchanting woman I’ve ever seen. And I have to get away from her before I do something that can’t be undone.

Before I fuck up again like I did earlier this evening.

“I’m fine,” I growl out. Pushing off the wall, I take a few wide steps back from her, putting enough space between us that I couldn’t touch her even if I were to reach out. My dragon doesn’t like it, but there’s not a damn thing it can do about it, and neither can I.

Alina lifts a hand to her mouth, fingertips touching her lips. Then she smiles, and a small laugh drifts from her, a melodic sound accompanied by the crackling of the fire .

“What’s funny?” I ask her.

She shakes her head, sending the blue strands I was just grasping drifting around her cheeks. “Not funny. I’ve just... never been kissed like that.”

I think that’s a good thing, but I hadn’t realized she’d ever been kissed, and an ember of envy flares to life inside my chest. Who the hell has she been kissing? Who would dare put their mouth on my —

I stop myself again.

But no matter how many times I remind myself that I can’t have her, my dragon refuses to acquiesce. And I realize that as long as I’m in her vicinity, this battle will never end. Yet I’d rather spend my whole life fighting than to be parted from her.

And I must therefore tread very carefully. Everything is balancing on this, on my being able to do my duty and not overstep, not fall from this delicate tightrope I’m walking with her.

“We should get you back to your room,” I say, adopting the formal tone I typically use with her—and every member of the royal family.

Alina’s smile slips. For a moment, I think she looks hurt, but then she straightens up, adjusts her nightdress and robe, and says, “We should.”

She finds her slippers and eases her toes into them, then runs a hand over her hair, smoothing the wild strands. I open the door for her and hold my breath as she walks by, even though I know my whole room smells of her now—and even worse, it smells like our desire, like her desire.

Dammit .

This will be yet another sleepless night.

We descend the stairs to her room, me following a few steps behind. When Alina gets to her door, she pauses and turns to face me.

“So . . . you’re okay?” she whispers, voice soft.

At her question, I’m reminded of the burn marks on my neck, the way the metal chain rests uncomfortably against them.

I give her a firm nod. “I’m fine, Your Highness. Please don’t worry about me.”

Her eyes narrow slightly, brow wrinkling. Then she lets out a breath, rights her shoulders, and grips the door handle.

“Well, good night, then.”

“Good night,” I whisper.

And then she’s gone, the door opening and closing softly behind her, and I’m left standing in the hallway alone.