Page 3 of A Winter Admire

Dearest Edwin,

It’s winter here, but it’s nothing compared to the horrible cold of the Norend Mountains! There was a sprinkling of snow last week, and everyone in the city was talking about it. But it was so different from the snow that stays for months and months in Ores. I was telling your father how snow almost seems beautiful here, since it’s so light and disappears in a few hours.

To be honest, I still don’t know how you can stand it there in that tiny little village with the cold closing in all around you. Just thinking about it brings back terrible memories of being stuck in that tiny cabin day after day, night after night. It’s so much nicer here in Bordertown.

I never understood why you went back.

But I know you always hated Bordertown. You always hated going out all the time. You’d much rather be in your room with your drawings.

You’re better off in Ores, especially because we’re never at home. There is so much more to do here, even in the middle of winter! We’ve been spending so many nights with friends. We barely have a minute to breathe! There are parties and dances and dinners. Nothing like in Ores! What a dull little village. But I know you’re happy there.

Tara doesn’t have as much time to go out anymore. Not with her apprenticeship as a milliner. Did I mention it in my last letter? She’s been an apprentice for about a month. She is so excited and can’t stop talking about the latest fashions.

We’re very proud of her, but she has less free time now and works very long hours. But she loves it. The milliner has many fine ladies who visit the shop. Tara is always talking about silks, feathers, and velvet!

Anyway, I must dash. We’re visiting the Missons’ for dinner. Your father and sister send their love.

Affectionately,

Your dear Mother

Edwin stared at the words, letting them sink in. There had been no mention of the Solstice, nor had his mother asked him to come back to celebrate it. In fact, it was like they’d forgotten the Solstice completely. Which wasn’t entirely surprising. The people of Bordertown didn’t celebrate Winter Solstice like they did in Ores.

He reread her words. It was clear his mother didn’t miss Ores. It all just seemed like a bad memory. It felt like his family had left everything about Ores behind. Including him.

He shoved the letter in his rucksack and started walking, trying to ignore the disappointment and emptiness he felt. What was more painful than his mother not missing Ores was that his mother didn’t seem to miss Edwin at all. It was like he was an afterthought. Someone to write a letter to in haste before rushing off to dinner with her new friends.

Her letters weren’t getting lost. She just hadn’t written to him in months. But then, what use did she have for a son who didn’t fit into the city? A son who suited the dull, boring village that she hated? But he’d tried to make it work. He’d stayed for several years in Bordertown even though he’d hated it.

And how could she think that she’d mentioned his sister’s apprenticeship in her last letter? His sister had only been an apprentice for a month. His mother hadn’t written in four. What even was a milliner? He had some vague idea they made clothing of some kind.

Tara would be thrilled. She hadn’t enjoyed working in the pub. And she had always been in awe of the ladies in their fine clothing.

At least his mother had written to him. In all the time he’d been gone, he’d received two letters from his sister. The last one had been almost six months ago. And he had only ever received well wishes from his father through his mother. But why would they care about him? Whilst they had thrived in Bordertown, he’d struggled to make friends and build a life there.

He stopped walking and stared up at the treetops. The few leaves that still clung to the branches rustled. He thought back to Ulir and Torin. To his lonely cabin.

Somehow, he’d failed to build a life here too. He hadn’t realised how lonely he would be, far lonelier than when he’d left Ores. He’d had his family then. And he hadn’t quite realised how few friends he had here. Some people were nice, like Rhorton and Mila, but there was no one he truly connected to.

He didn’t belong in Bordertown, and somehow, he no longer belonged in Ores.

He began walking, the snow crunching beneath his feet. Part of him wanted to go back to his cabin, crawl under the sheets, and stay there. No one would care if he worked in the forest today or not. No one noticed or cared what he did. Still, the idea of spending the day in his cabin did not appeal. The loneliness and isolation would sink into his bones, the letter weighing heavily on his mind.

And if he walked back through the village, he might run into Torin and Ulir again. He wanted to put that off as long as possible. He didn’t think he could bear to face them now with the wound of his mother’s letter still so fresh.

No, better to stay in the forest, studying plants.

ChapterThree

Iwonder what my parents will do for Winter Solstice. Will they even note its occurrence? Or will it just slip by, one day of many in their new lives?

Maybe he should just return to Bordertown, even if his parents hadn’t asked him back. He stopped walking and looked around. But if he left, he’d miss the forest and mountains. Even if he felt alone in Ores, he still had this. It was here he felt like he truly belonged. Even if it did get a bit cold in the winter.

Edwin continued. Before he’d received the letter from his mother, he’d planned to find and draw the firasen tree that grew in these mountains. He was certain there were some in this area. He’d drawn them back in the spring, but he hadn’t drawn them yet in the winter.

Sketching would help him take his mind off his family.

After several minutes of searching, he spotted a bunch of firasen trees. At this time of year, the leaves had long ago turned brown and crinkly, falling from the branches, dissolving into dust, and leaving the tree bare. Edwin knew if he dug up some of the trees’ roots, one could make a salve that would reduce swelling and bruises. But the ground had frozen and grown hard, and it would be difficult to break through the soil. He’d wait until the warmer months to dig up a couple of roots.