Page 12 of A Winter Admire

Sinoe reached out his hand and tucked an errant strand of Edwin’s hair behind his ear. He then pulled Edwin’s woollen cap down a little further. For a second, Edwin could almost swear that he saw desire in Sinoe’s eyes.

Perhaps Edwin could lean forward and press their lips together. Perhaps he could kiss Sinoe.

“How could someone as plain, and pathetic, as you ever think anyone could care for you?”Ulir’s voice echoed in his mind.

Edwin’s stomach clenched painfully. He pulled back from the oread’s touch, flushing with shame to have thought, even for a second, that Sinoe might want him.

Sinoe frowned and dropped his hands. “Well, I won’t distract you from your work. I wouldn’t want to keep you out here longer than needed.” Sinoe stepped back. “I hope you have a good day, Edwin. Don’t get too cold.”

Edwin tried to think of something to say to keep Sinoe here with him. But he could think of nothing, so he stood frozen as Sinoe turned and walked away.

Why couldn’t I think of anything to make Sinoe stay?

But perhaps not saying anything was the right thing to do. Sinoe couldn’t ever care for him as he wanted. He looked at the berries still in his hand. He tucked them into his pouch. The air felt colder than it had a moment before, and he no longer had any desire to continue working.

ChapterTen

Edwin gave Snowflake one more pat as she ate her hay. Then he stood, pulling his cap over his head. Fresh snow lay on the windowsill, and Edwin braced himself for the cold that he knew was outside.

Truth was, he didn’t need to go out every day. Loran would no doubt be more than content with what he’d documented so far and all the samples he’d collected. In fact, she’d probably be very impressed.

Still, every day since meeting Sinoe one week ago, he’d gone out into the forest to the same spot. Sometimes he sketched, and sometimes he just collected more cira berries. He had far more berries than he needed. Honestly, he didn’t know what Loran would do with them all.

And every day, without fail, he’d kept meeting Sinoe. He didn’t believe that Sinoe was interested in him romantically. But Sinoe was kind, so perhaps he recognised Edwin’s loneliness and need for connection.

That was okay with Edwin. Even if Sinoe didn’t care for him like he would wish, seeing him was still the highlight of his day. And their brief encounters made him feel less lonely. Perhaps they could become friends. Edwin would be content with that. He would be lucky to call Sinoe a friend.

He just wished he didn’t keep getting flustered and overwhelmed each time they met. Still, he didn’t relish the idea of another day out in the cold. He reached out and opened the door.

He froze.

There, sitting on the doorstep, lay a single blue flower, a wrin flower, with a thin red bow wrapped around the stem, marking it as a Solstice gift. It was two weeks to the Solstice, and he hadn’t received a single Solstice gift. But today someone had given him one.

But who would give me a Solstice gift?

He pulled the glove off one of his hands and picked up the flower, running his finger along the dark-green stem and small, rounded, hardy blue petals. He lifted it to his nose and smelled the sweet, light scent.

A smile blossomed across his face. Someone had given him—insignificant, ordinary, bookish Edwin—a Solstice gift. The wrin flower was rare in the mountains. It bloomed in winter, and he’d come across it only a handful of times in all his years living here. He hadn’t seen one since he’d returned to Ores. He’d had to try to draw it from memory. But now he could draw it from this!

He considered placing it in a vase, but he couldn’t bear the idea of being parted from such a wonderful gift. He opened his coat and carefully placed the flower in his breast pocket. He closed the jacket, the gift resting over his quickly beating heart.

He set off along the path, a spring in his step, barely even noticing the cold.

A Solstice gift! But who could have given me a Solstice gift?

An image of Sinoe popped into his mind. The thought bubbled up inside him, and he couldn’t help the excited smile that stretched his cheeks. He desperately wanted it to be Sinoe. But that wasn’t possible. Sinoe didn’t know where he lived. And there was no way someone like Sinoe would give Edwin a Solstice gift. Hoping that would only lead to heartbreak. He knew that.

But who else could it be? His family used to give him Solstice gifts. But they no longer lived in the village. Perhaps a friend? But although he was on friendly terms with many people, he didn’t know of anyone who would go out of their way to give him a gift so rare as a wrin flower.

Maybe it was Odara. She often was out in the forests when she wasn’t looking after her grandchildren. And she took pity on him being so alone at Solstice. His heart sunk a little at the thought. He didn’t want a Solstice gift out of pity.

A heavy fog hung in the air, and he could only see a few metres ahead of him. Luckily, he knew the forests around the village well and could follow the paths practically in the dark.

As he walked, he let himself indulge in the fantasy of Sinoe smiling at him, holding out the Solstice gift, telling Edwin that he loved him. He touched his hand to his coat. It was a silly dream, an impossible dream, but still…

He reached the river, looking around and hoping to see Sinoe. He didn’t see anyone. That wasn’t so unusual. Sinoe often came after he’d arrived. It wasn’t like they met at a specific time. Edwin set to the task of picking the berries, but he kept glancing around as he worked.

The day progressed. The fog cleared. The sun peeked out from behind the clouds, and its golden rays reflected off the snow around him. Still, Sinoe didn’t appear.