Page 23

CALL

“ I f you called for me, Emryn, I would answer.” His voice and his eyes were so sincere, it was hard to remember that she was only the city healer he’d wed so he didn’t die.

“You didn’t need to marry me, Cas,” she told him in a shaking voice. “No one would have known except you, me, and Asan that we were bonded.”

“Why wouldn’t I?” He looked down at her and raised a hand to cup her cheek. “What are you thinking, Emryn?”

Emryn leaned into his hand. Healers weren’t touched as a general rule. They touched others, but were never touched. “Cas, I-”

“No, Emryn,” he said gently. “I know you’re afraid, but I’ll help you. You aren’t alone now, and I suspect that’s the first time you’ve heard that.”

She nodded, eyes sliding closed. “I was left to my own duties most of the time. It’s true. But I knew what I was supposed to be doing. I don’t know that now.”

“I wanted to give you a few days to relax,” Cas said. “But I was wanting to talk to you about perhaps having tutors. To give you the information that you need to operate under your new title.”

Emryn nodded, relief rushing through her. “I would like to learn.”

“Then I will put the word out.” Cas nodded, wrapping her in his arms and laying his head on top of hers when she came to nestle against his chest.

It was nice, warm and sweet, being held in his arms. It was almost enough to banish the guilt she felt. But they would not be like this forever.

No, this was a temporary marriage, and she needed to remember that with everything that she was. It was only going to last until the First Wizard found a way to remove the illness from Cas, and then she would be left on her own again.

She needed to remember that. She needed to guard her heart against the feelings that were starting to build in it.

There was no way she could afford to fall in love with the prince of Rodilla.

Cas couldn’t love her, she was common and no matter that he’d said he was going to court her, she couldn’t fall.

“Emryn, I don’t know what you’re thinking.” He said quietly. “Will you tell me why you’re hurting?”

“I’m alright,” she replied, knowing she was lying. “I’m just trying to figure it all out.”

“Alright,” Cas held her, lifting his head to kiss the top of hers. “Are you ready for our snack and then bed?”

“I don’t want to impose on you again.” Emryn shook her head and tried to back away. “I’ll be better tonight, so you can do as you like.”

“I want to hold you, Emryn.” He looked puzzled. “Do you want me to go?”

“No,” she blurted and felt her face flame. “It’s not that, it’s just that I can’t- I can’t have feeling for you, Cas. This is only until Asan figures out the illness and-”

“Emryn, no,” he stopped her near panicked words. “Asan said the tie was permanent, don’t you remember? Even once the illness is removed, we are still bound.”

Emryn shook her head, refusing to look at that. “There’s a way to undo it, but-”

“I don’t want it undone, Emryn.” He said gently. “We are wed, and to me that is binding. For always.”

“You can’t-” she forced the tears back. “Cas, you can’t be happy with this, with me, I’m not anything-”

“You are not noble, Emryn, that’s all.” He stepped back, just enough to cup her cheek again. “Come on, let’s go have our snack and rest. Tomorrow I’ll gather your tutors and you’ll start feeling better about this.”

He took her back to her room where there was a steaming pan of something that smelled utterly delightful.

“Oh, you’ll love this.” Cas looked at the pan and then at her. “Cook makes this for family affairs where the court isn’t involved.”

He helped her sit at the table, dishing out the contents of the pan and setting it hot and steaming in front of her.

“It smells like apple.” Emryn picked up her spoon and scooped up a bite. She felt her eyes go wide as the soft flavors burst on her tongue.

“Cook’s caramel apple bread pudding.” Cas had a serving of his own and was munching his way through it. “It’s been my favorite since I was a boy. I stole an entire pan of it when I was eleven. Cook was furious. She made me re-make it, turned out terrible.”

Emryn giggled, though she didn’t mean to.

“It was funny,” Cas nodded, looking at her plate. “I now leave the kitchen to people with more talent than I have. Would you like more?”

“Yes please,” Emryn was hungry again, but the bread pudding was closing that hole in her middle. “It’s very good.”

“I know,” Cas served her another portion. “Now, I imagine Asan will want a hand in training you, but that can come after the basics of courtier-hood.”

“I know my letters and my numbers.” Emryn replied.

“Yes, I imagined that.” Cas said. “I think you’ll only need someone for governance and for etiquette and the dancing master will want at you as well.”

They discussed her tutors until Emryn was nodding over her plate and then Shana came in and shooed Cas off so she could be dressed for bed.

Emryn wasn’t expecting Cas to come back. He would want to sleep in his own bed. She was nearing sleep, when her door opened and closed. She struggled to sit up, looking at Cas walking over to her bed.

“Do you want to cuddle, Emryn?”

She moved over, pulling the blankets back with a shy smile.

Cas nodded, smiling back and climbing into the bed with her. Reaching to pull her into his arms, and settling with her tucked under his chin.